like a star

Dira smiled admiringly when he saw Ares succeeded in getting the ball into the ring. Dira was so concerned about Ares's basketball game that he did not realize that Alin was beside him.
"It's really fun, I didn't realize that I was there." said Alin
"Hi, Lin, how come this game of our school basketball team is getting better huh." said Dira
"The basketball team or the great Ares?" teased Alin
"It's the basketball team, Lin."
"Until when do you want to cover your feelings to Ares, it's been 4 years already, Dir." Alin seemed to remind Dira of his love for Ares.
"I don't know, Lin, maybe I will never say. Let me keep all this alone. I just want to be like a star, which is always there even though it's not always visible. "
"Dira ... you've often been hurt because of him, do you not need a reply?" Alin looked surprised.
"My love for him is so big, Lin, that I can't distinguish between hurt and love. Seeing that he's happy, I'm happy too. For what the heck is he with me when he isn't happy. " Dira answered sincerely.
"I don't understand your thoughts, Dir." Alin said finally.
"You don't have to understand Lin, just keep this secret. Don't bother talking about this. " begged Dira.
Alin just nodded. "I will help you as much as I can, Dir." Alin thought.
This afternoon Dira's class is empty, without assignments. Dira decided to go to the library alone. Dira really likes reading books the most. This attitude is very contrary to his best friend, Alin. So Dira always goes to the library without her best friend.
Dira sat right in the left corner of the library after finishing looking for the book she wanted. It so happened that the library was quiet at that time. The library atmosphere is like that that Dira likes. And Dira only occupies the long table alone. When reading a book, Dira felt like someone was walking toward her. Dira then looked up. His eyes met with someone's eyes. A split second is just like that until finally the person greets Dira first.
"Hey Dir, can you just sit here, please?" asked a tall man named Ares pointing at the chair in front of Dira.
"Eh, um ... yes, just sit, Res." answered Dira stuttered.
"Tumben himself, usually goes with Alin." said Ares as he sat before Dira.
"Alin is really anti-library, you yourself don't want to go to the library."
"It's lazy in class, if you don't use empty hours like this it's useless."
"Yeah, your class is empty too. Why don't you play basketball? "
"Not really, Dir, later the grandmother will catch me."
"Grandma, are you attached? Lala isn't what you mean? "
"Yes he is, Dir. Who else try to always follow me if not him. " said Ares irritably.
"You know, I thought you guys were dating. You have always been together all along. " Dira said in surprise.
"It's crazy to date someone like that, not love but instead ilfeel, Dir. Besides, there is someone who is filling my heart. " said Ares seriously.
"Oh really, you sure love him so much that Lala is just as beautiful as you decline." Dira's voice shook.
"Yes, I really love him, but unfortunately I can only be a star. Stars are always there but not always visible in his eyes. Even though the happiness isn't the same as mine, but I'm happy too. ” Ares said sincerely.
Dira fell silent. "Why are Ares's words like mine?" Dira asked herself.
"Dir, how come I even daydream. Are you okay? " Ares made Dira aware.
"Eh, no. I just imagine how it hurts when you see a girl going out with another guy. " lie Dira.
"I love him so much, Dir, to the point that I can't distinguish hurt and love."
Dira felt her eyes begin to heat up. Ares's words were felt in his heart. All of Ares's words are like a machete scratching his heart. Ares's words were like a satire directed at him.
"Um, Res, I'll go first." exclaimed Dira before her tears spilled in front of Ares.
Ares wants to hold Dira's departure, but he discourages. Ares realized his words had hurt Dira's heart.
Ares deliberately said all that to make Dira aware that Dira had to show his feelings for Ares. Ares has known all the secrets kept by Dira for 4 years since he was in junior high until now he will be graduating from high school.
Alin told Ares everything. Alin could not bear to see Dira continue to be tormented with feelings of love. Although Dira said he was okay, Alin had seen Dira several times secretly crying after seeing Lala's intimacy with Ares. During this time Alin let Dira keep his feelings and hope Dira will show his feelings to Ares before they graduate. But until now Dira still did not show his love for Ares. Finally Alin was desperate to tell Ares about the feelings of love that Dira had buried for 4 years. And now Ares knows about it.

Since meeting with Ares in the library, Dira's attitude has become quiet. He always avoided when meeting with Ares or when he saw Ares being with Lala. Alin felt the change in his best friend. But Alin let it.
Dira also did not want to see the final match of his school basketball team. Only because Ares became his basketball captain. Dira wants to forget all of her feelings for Ares. But all that feels difficult. There is something that still blocks Dira's heart. Something that makes Dira can not forget the feeling of love just like that.
Tonight is Saturday night. Like the usual Saturday nights, Dira just stayed in her room. If he usually reads books, not this time. Dira is still thinking about her feelings for Ares. Does he really have to forget all his love? Can Dira do it? All of that made him even more confused. His cellphone suddenly vibrated. 1 New message appears on the touchscreen.
from: Ares
Dir, about this. Please ...
to: Ares
?
from: Ares
Kafe, I believe in winning the kmrin basketball team. I'm already in front of you.
Dira pushed aside the curtains on her bedroom window. And it turns out Ares was perched casually on top of his motor sport. Hhh ... Dira sighed heavily. Actually Dira wanted to refuse but seeing Ares was in front of his house, he failed to refuse. Without replying to an SMS from Ares, Dira immediately got ready.
Instead of taking Dira to the cafe as written in the text earlier, Ares actually invited Dira around the city center. On a hill decorated with many lanterns, Ares stopped his motorbike. From the top of the hill they could see the stars clearly. For a few moments they were silent. Busy with each other's thoughts.
"Why come here, he said to go to the cafe?" asked Dira, breaking the silence.
"I'm lazy to go there, there must be Lala. I'm getting more and more disgusted with my behavior. " Ares answered. Dira just nodded. They fell silent again.
"Dir ..." called Ares.
"Yes." answered Dira.
"When will you be like this?" asked Ares without looking at Dira.
"What do you mean?" He asked, confused by Ares's question.
Ares actually silent without answering Dira's question. Seeing Ares did not react, Dira was silent. Silence. Again only silence is created.
Ares opened the voice again. "How long do you want to become like the stars?" Ares asked pointing to the stars in the sky, "always there even though it doesn't always And it happens again…
An old story that repeats itself ...
You're hurt again ...
From the complicated love you live ...

My name is Cakka Nuraga, a guy who is very, very fortunate to have friends like Oik Ramdlani, she is a very, very beautiful girl, smart, kind, accommodating, and I can't express her many things.
I will try to tell my heart to you about Oik, let's listen to me.

Hmm, I and Oik have been friends for a long time, since we were in elementary school, where there was me, there was Oik. Until we were in high school we were friends, I was very happy to be beside him, saw him laugh, saw him smile, his smile was very beautiful, rivaling the beauty of the sun that was faithfully present every morning.

Well, but I started to feel different things when we were growing up, feelings that I could not neutralize, feelings that swelled when I faced him, my heart was beating 3 times faster, I was embarrassed when I was close to him. I don't understand, I don't understand all these feelings. What is this feeling?

I tried to be normal in front of him, the same when he told me about the guys who were close to him.

"Cakka I just dated Alvin."
"Cakka I just dated Debo."
"Cakka blah blah blah"

hahaha, I'm very happy to hear that, but you know, Ik. My heart was broken, broken, the feeling was like being doused by hot water, wilting and dying. But with your sun-like smile, that feeling grows back into a strong thing even though you're happy because of other people, not because of me.

But, my heart is sad when I see tears on your face, why are you my little angel, don't cry. It broke my heart to see my eyes grim, my eyes covered with dark clouds of sorrow. I was sad when you hugged me, crying in my arms, because of some jerk who hurt you. Wake up, I am! There is me who always accompanied you and never hurt you!

I want…
You feel ...
You understand, I understand you ...
I want you to realize ...
Your love is not her ...
My days passed with you, my little fairy, my morning sun.
And look! Today you look sad again and have tears on your cheeks.
You're crying again, my love.

I hugged him, my heart cried seeing you weak and helpless like this. I'm starting to realize that what I feel is love, I love you, Ik. If only you knew, and I want you not to know. I do not want to add to your burden again, I hope you can understand my gestures, that I love you. I'm quite happy to see you smile, even if it's not because of me.

But look! You're crying now, and I'm grateful, so far you've never cried because of me. Oik, I always pray for the best for you, even though you never noticed me.

My Little Fairy, let no longer torture yourself by loving the wrong people, open your eyes! See who your true love really is! Not him! Not them ik! Not…

Listen to my message ...
This inner voice calls out your name ...
Because half me ...
Yourself…

Oik, you know. This heart hurts, breaks, in pieces. When my eyes see for yourself you kiss a man. I feel jealous, envy. Why not me? Why am I not there?

I feel like a cowardly man, unable to express his feelings, but, Ik. Know, I already feel close to you, very close, feel at one with you. And that might envy all the men who want you. I'm happy, if you're happy.

I just want to see my morning sun continue to shine with a happy aura.

I'm here ...
Understand that you are never alone ...
Because I'm always near you when you fall ...
I want you to feel ...
You understand, I understand you ...
I want you to understand ...
Your love is not her ...

The morning sun, I felt all your sadness at that time .. My heart was shocked, restless, restless.
How could you possibly get the disease, I know the burden of your heart at that time. I know.
You have to be brave, the Kidney Failure you are suffering from is nothing compared to your light which must continue to shine now.
Be strong, Ik, be patient. Remember! You still have God, your parents, your friends and you have me, Ik.

Oh, don't cry I don't want your light to be covered by gray black clouds and replaced by raindrops as your tears. Don't cry, come here Approach me, I will try to wipe the tears as best I can. Because I am you, I love you Ik.

Listen to my message ...
All your injuries have become mine ...
Because half me ...
Yourself….

Maybe this is the destiny chosen by God for you, I want to take the time to write this diary before the accident happens, I am taking the time to write all the contents of my heart before the decision to donate my kidney to you. I hope you will read it, because after you read it I hope there are no tears in your eyes, I just want a smile on your beautiful lips. And My Morning Sun can shine again illuminating the world with its beautiful smile. Take care of my last gift, Ik. Don't cry anymore, I don't like it. Don't be mistaken about choosing anyone who suits you Ik. Fight with the kidney I gave you, continue your life with enthusiasm. Because there are still many hearts and souls that want to be illuminated with your sunshine that warms the soul, like you who always shine on my heart. I love you, Ik. I will continue to be with you, because half I have been in you, because I am you.

I love you last and forever 🙂

Oik closed the sea-blue book, his lips trembling, trying to hold back tears and regret was extraordinary. He even learned that the kidney in his body belonged to Cakka. Oh, God! How foolish he was, only to realize that a great and true love was around him, he was very, very sorry, only knowing everything after it was too late.

"Cakka, I'm sorry. I love you, too." he said softly, tears fell on the beach sand. He rose from his place and looked at the twilight sun.

"I hope you can feel my love return from up there, Kka. I'm sorry, I love you too. " he said again with tears that kept dripping wet sea sand, he walked away leaving the place. The calm sea, and the end of the sun laying on the sun, when the morning sun had done its work.

Wow ... The wind blows against the beach sand and carve words on it.

Cakka is Oik.?"
"I don't understand what you're talking about, Res." He pretended to be.
"You understand, why do you like hurting your own heart more than showing your feelings to me like other girls, like Lala for example. Why Dir? Ares looked at Dira.
"You already know, surely Alin right? Hh ... "Dira sighed," I have my own way to love you. You like stars and I want to be like a star. Always there even though you don't always see me. The important thing is I can always see you. For me all that is enough to make me happy, Res. " explained Dira in tears.
"Do you know Dir, I feel guilty and very sorry when Alin told me all about you. During this time I was close to a couple of girls and enjoyed them. But without me realizing, I've made the heart of one girl who is always good with me crushed. Falling apart." said Ares regretfully.
"You can't feel like that, Res. You are not wrong at all. All of this is my own will. And now you already know, I'm already happy. From now on you don't need to think about my feelings anymore because starting tonight I will forget my feelings for you all this time. " Dira said it with tears running down her cheeks.
"How come you like it anyway, Dir. Do you think I'll let the girl I hurt and love so far just leave? And you think you're the only one who has become like the stars? I'm also Dir, I'm a cowardly guy who didn't dare to express love with you for 4 years! " said Ares loudly.
"Ares, so ... so far you've been ..."
"Yes, I also love you for the past 4 years. I think that by being close to some girls, it can make me forget my feelings to you. But in fact I could not, I was increasingly tormented by the feelings that I buried. And when I want to reveal everything to you, I see you are closer to Ryan. Finally, I never revealed my feelings to anyone until Alin told me your feelings. " cut Ares.
"I'm really close to Ryan but my feelings for you are too strong, nobody can diminish my love for you." Dira wiped her tears.
"I know ... sorry, it already hurts your heart."
"Me too, sorry for making you torture."
"Dir, now under the moonlight and under the gaze of stars in the sky tonight, I want you to be a star in my heart. Stars that will always shine and continue to appear in my heart at any time. No matter day or night, no matter heat or cold. No matter how many stars there are in the sky, no matter how bright they are, I don't care. You're the only brightest star for me. You want to be my star forever? " Ares held Dira's hand tightly.
Dira shed tears again. Not tears of sadness but tears of happiness. It felt like his dream came true.
"You're serious right, Res, isn't it because you feel sorry for me?" Dira asked sure.
"Not only serious but also one hundred, Dir. Trust me. I will make you happy. My words earlier were not cheesy or limited to seduction. " Ares answered firmly.
"How is it, Dir?" Ares asked impatiently.
"I guess, I can't hold back my feelings for you anymore." answered Dira.
"You mean, Dir?"
"Yes, I want to be a star in your heart forever."
"Thanks, Dir." Ares reflexively hugged Dira, "I promise I'll take care of you, I won't let you stop glowing."
Ares let go of his arms. He looked Dira deeply. Both of them then smiled.
"Now it's me - you huh?" said Dira resting her head on Ares's shoulder.
"It's okay to sound romantic." said Ares, stroking Dira's hair.
That night Ares and Dira spent the night of the week together on the hill they called the hill of stars while observing the beautiful expanse of stars side by side with the moon in the sky. Regardless of Ares's friends who were waiting for the captain to celebrate the victory of his basketball team.
The star is now no longer hiding, it will always be present and always visible. In the heart of Ares and Dira of course.

• END -