So the other day, I was conversing with a feminist and she decided to say something that made me feel... some sort of way.
"Men can't get raped."
What happened after that is somewhat of a blur but I do believe I went on a polite yet heated rampage about how completely wrong that statement is.
Well lets look at the facts. The definition of rape which is, "any act of intercourse that is forced upon a person." So why exactly could that not happen to men?
"Well, you can't rape the willing."
"Men can only be raped by another man"
"It's his own fault for getting an erection"
"If he got an erection that means he wanted to"
Excuse me?
You cannot say a man is always wanting to have sex. If he says no, he means no. A man can be raped by a woman just as easily. Having an erection doesn't mean he wants to have sex, and definitely doesn't mean he consents.
What if he is being held at gunpoint?
What if he had drugs slipped into his drink?
Do you consider it rape then?
Anyone of any gender or sexuality can be raped. That is a fact. Saying otherwise is sexist, and I thought feminism was supposed to be about equality. hmm.
Now that we've established the fact that men in fact can be raped, lets talk about the consequences of this.
Men, when raped, often do not come forward about it. Why? because they are afraid of how people will respond. They don't want to hear "well, no, men can't be raped," or be laughed at, but this is what usually happens.
They don't get the help that female rape victims get, simply because of their gender and everyone treating the problem like it was some sort of weird mythical creature; one that they refuse to believe exists.
Is this what equality is about?
You were not conversing with a feminist you were conversing with a man-hater. Just to clarify.
There's a word for that. It's ironic that pretty much everyone knows what a misogynist is, but if you used the term misandrist, they'd have to look it up.
Personally, I am a misanthrope. I think all people suck, regardless of gender. :)
But man-hater is easier to spell than misandrist.
I go by what they call themselves, not up to me to decide who is a real feminist or who is a fake feminist.
This is just as bad as the argument that women can't get pregnant from rape... The argument goes that in order for a woman to get pregnant she has to be wet for the semen to travel and reach fertilisation...
It is a ridiculous and disgusting statement to make and the same goes for men... Please try to remember that just because a feminist said this does not make it a feminist statement. In fact it's a sexist and anti-feminist statement to make because it is a claim that shames men who have in fact been victimised into somehow thinking they must have brought it on themselves by... having a penis... having an erection... being a man?
Haven't heard that one before, wow. It's a statement by a feminist, I'm not going to judge all feminists by it, but I wouldn't call it anti-feminist either. Feminists want equal rights for women, and since in most ways women actually have more privilege I come across statements like these often; it's as if feminists really want to be oppressed so they have to manufacture or ignore problems that contradict their movement. But let me know if you think differently :)
Speaking as a feminist, I support equal rights for men and women. If you're not a feminist you can't claim what feminists want but the media can try to fool you.
Truthfully though what you've written here is feminism for men and I have to thank you for that as the oppression of men in some aspects of society is not spoken about enough.
100% agree with you @beanz
Men can absolutely be raped. This is an important topic that should be destigmatized and broadly discussed. Thank you for writing about it.
I am very happy to see you still active in comments if not posting. I have been catching up on the dirt and yours was a great post, that made me think we had wholly lost you, it was demoralizing. Hope to see you continue in whatever way you feel you need to. You truly made some of these issues and "kindergarten cop" groups fall back on their heels. I am grateful for it, and relieved to see this recent comment from you.
Of course! It really hurts me to think about how men can't be open about this and a number of other things.
im happy to see you say that. thank you for not being retarded.
i cant even comment on the stupidity of the feminists in the comment section of this post. when looking up the actual stats you will see women rape a much as men they just try to skew the deffination.
http://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/
Men reported being “made to penetrate” at virtually the same rates as women reported rape
http://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/
i honestly don't have the time to add more. the feminists are so fucking stupid and will not accept and facts they don't support their narrative.
Men are raped more often then women if you consider "forced to penetrate" rape.
It is indeed a ridiculous suggestion that men can't be raped. These kind of "feminists" seem to be blinded by their own hatred of men. They are not true feminists but small minded people who use feminism to express their own inadequacies.
I would say they are the true feminists and the people that really want equality are Egalitarianism. if you wernt pushing a supremacy movement then you wouldnt call it feminisim. but what do I know, im a man so my opinion doesn't matter. lol
Does a woman have to be aroused for rape to happen? No?
Well, the same goes for a man. You don't need an erection to be molested.
you are right ... no is no whether it's a man or a woman !
It's not common, but there have been cases of men raped by women--although in most cases it involves a woman and minor child. The average man can walk down a dark street a night without fear of a man stepping out of the shadows to rape him but boys and teens are equally at risk of rape by predators as are young women. As for women raping men, it can't be that common as most men can fight off a woman. In the cases where a woman intimidates or emotionally manipulates a man into having sex, that should be considered rape. It's sex without consent! We need to take this much more seriously and respect the right of every person, regardless of gender, to provide consent. I am reminded of a situation that happened about 20 years ago at a British college where several female students sexually assaulted (no penetration) a semi-conscious drunk student. He declined to press charges and I think he dropped out or switched to another college. Also, female teachers in so-called relationships with young students often receive little more than a slap on the wrist. As a mother of a daughter AND a son, I am very aware of gender bias and outdated sexist attitudes.
its not common?
if you look t actual stats and add in forced envelopment then women rape at the same rate as men. -smh-
Not every man is stronger than every woman... And there are men in domestic abusive relationships who are victims to their wives or girlfriends so I don't think saying it's just not as common is helpful.. The truth is we have no idea just how common it is because men are far less likely to report abuse especially if their abuse came from a woman.
strength has nothing to do with it just like women get raped and are not physically forced. you can rape someone without physically overpowering them. :/
Yes, that is a valid point in regards to domestic abuse but please consider the stats (Canada, UK and Australia) that indicate the majority of men who are victimized in domestic abuse assaults are those with same sex partners. Are hetero men less likely to report abuse if it came from a woman? Yes, especially if they have been victimized by somebody with a personality disorder.
I just wanted to add that as the survivor of domestic violence, I spent three weeks at a women's shelter that included two gay men who had also fled abusive relationships. They mentioned that their abuse was both physical and sexual and it was from speaking with them that I first heard that it was very possible for a man to have an erection even when they had no sexual interest at all and were feeling revulsion or fear.
Hi @protestandrebel, just stopping back to let you know that your post was one of my favourite reads today. You can read my comments on the post here.
Awweh thank you so much!!