Look at the photo above. Notice what thoughts are going through your mind this very second.
What do those images make you feel?
I don't know about you, but I don't like looking at the baby birds with their mouths open. It makes me feel vulnerable, scared and nervous. I'm a very unlikely parent, as my nervous system is rather frail. I still can't believe I successfully bred. It was a bit of a fluke..... I feel much more comfortable looking at the snail inside its cozy shell.
For me, my greatest conflict in life comes down to the war between fear and being vulnerable.
And recently, fear has been winning. I have often tried to understand the root of this fear, and I believe it is related closely with survival. I feel these survival instincts perhaps more intensely than others mainly because I have no one protecting, taking care of or supporting me. If I make bad decisions, my family will go down with me. I have no back up, nothing preventing me from falling, if I were to fuck up in some big way. The truth is, my only existing lifeline is in Steemit. There's nothing else.
This thought does scare me because my fear-mind poses the question, "What if Steem collapsed due to some really strange circumstance?"
Even though I know this is not really based in logic, my own fear of survival creates this scenario. Not having anyone else to rely on for my survival makes me act in ways that only others in similar situations can understand. It is for this reason that I am propelled to constantly assess and evaluate my present course, at all times.
It's like being on a ship, all the time.
Most people think of their working lives in terms of some kind of stable graph or linear timeline. My current situation makes me think of my working life more in terms of water and chaos. The natural world is in constant flux and adaption. So is technology. And so we should be too. We have learned some very bad ways of living in the past: 401Ks, pensions, salaries, mortgages, "stable jobs", etc. All of these things are actually bad for our creative minds. I crumble under too much routine. I thrive in unknown lands, the more complicated, the better. This is one reason I chose to major in Japanese in college. My rationale was: "I'll never run out of characters to memorize."
But it's true that our world is evolving faster than our minds can grasp the changes.
This is because we are not nomadic and have lost touch with the natural world. Nature does erratic things. I remember 4 years ago we had a drought here. The cattle were dying and all the grass which was usually green turned brown. It was frightening and very unusual because this area is usually very wet. I have also noticed the lack of bees recently. There are subtle changes going on that I'm noticing. Everything around me is in a constant state of change. I have been training my mind to accept changes and to adapt quickly to new conditions.
I suppose I have been doing this for over 20 years, as I began to live a semi-nomadic life for much of my adult life. I tended to move every four years. Having a child recently has caused me to re-think this pattern but my mind is still doing this constant wandering, in search of new ideas.
So, now we come to fear.
Irrational fear is the killer of everything, as far as I can tell. I had a few days of absolute fear kind of take over my mind, like some virus, and it wasn't until I read one of @teamsteem's posts that I felt some kind of calmness. The fear revolves around losing my freedom. I am a complete disaster when I am working at a job that is not creative, dynamic or interesting. It's like a death sentence, and yes, I do end up becoming physically ill after a period of time doing work that doesn't utilize my creative abilities.
I don't have any quick solutions to tackling fear when it takes over my mind.
Since I quit drinking years ago, I tend to mull over what I think is causing my fear. I also try to formulate some kind of plan of action, in order to deal with it, if it is coming from a source that can be dealt with. Sometimes I gain new knowledge that makes my previous knowledge obsolete. This sometimes causes me to fall out with certain people, as my newly found knowledge causes interpersonal conflicts. People are very attached to ideas, and to what they think is the "truth". So, when I go in a different direction, finding out new knowledge, this is often rejected by others, due to their attachment to the old knowledge. Well, this has been happening quite a lot to my friendships, as I see that I am in search of new knowledge constantly. Gaining knowledge is the primary reason I am alive.
I found out that Amanda B. Johnson is taking a break from Dash.
When I watched her last video, it felt like a farewell. I don't know what's going on with her, but for some reason it feels kind of weird. All I know is that I read over the scaling roadmap for Dash, and I got a big knot in my stomach. That's where I am at. When I read through Dan's blog about how EOS is scaling, I felt a bright and sunny feeling, like the ship is in the proper hands.
Everything is in flux. What Coinmarketcap reveals today will be different tomorrow. I guess it's better to stay in motion always, and our fears which continually crop up will have to be managed in new ways.
Anyone who says they are fearless is either a sociopath or lying.
Remember, "Be yourself. Everyone else is taken." -famous quote
@pitter-patter surprised me by creating this image below! I am now using it when someone new redeems their Stellabelle coin on here. That was a really nice gesture, thanks @pitter-patter.
art by @pitter-patter
Update on #GetYourAssOnSteemit Clay Coin Project For Newbies and User Growth:
So far 12 people have redeemed their Stellabelle coins. This has resulted in me upvoting $720 worth of posts on Steemit for newbies. If you would like to start your own #getyourassonsteemit clay coin project, here are the instructions:
https://steemit.com/getyourassonsteemit/@stellabelle/getyourassonsteemit-meme-kit-growth-idea-for-the-m00n
ps: right now I have carpal tunnel in my left arm, and despite this I am still writing. It has affected my entire arm, and I will be taking some time off the computer soon to let it heal. This is one sign that I need to cut back and simplify my efforts, and decide what is important. I also need to learn how to take time off from computers.
Fear is terrible, it hits a man. If you are afraid of something, it's better not to do it. He hits a person so that you stop thinking right. At me always so. You have interesting posts, deep thoughts, thank you for this!
I think it was Kamal Ravikant who said, "on the other side of fear is where the magic happens."
Perhaps, but it prevents a person from making the right decision. Many people could not make their dreams come true, because of fear. Thank you!
We are born to be fear. It makes us stronger and makes us more thoughtful in making right decisions. It can make us and break us too. All depends on if we let it control us or we be the owner of it.
I'm fearless! Haha just kidding. Dont forget to leave the bathroom light on before you go to bed!
"I crumble under too much routine." Recently I have found this to be true for me, too. But it wasn't so evident until my circumstances changed dramatically. I am thrilled to use Steemit, as it doesn't require a specific routine.
"Irrational fear is the killer of everything." This resonates with me right now. I try to stay very positive, but every so often an irrational fear sneaks in and I have to work hard to fight it off.
Great post @stellabelle
Fear is a concept we all have to deal with, sometimes it can be our weakness but i have also found it to be a strength on a number of occasions. On one occasion fear actually saved my life
Great art work @pitterpatter I love it when you bless my photos with your magic touch :)
I think that fear is keeping us sharp and ready to be a survival!
I like these 2 quotes when it comes to fear
I fear not the man who practiced 10 000 kicks once but who's practiced 1 kick 10 000 times - Bruce Lee
the most important thing is to be able to sacrifice what you are for what you will become- Erik Thomas
What a good post about the real truth about fear, which can kill a person if not dealt with. However you have to take on your fear ...
“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: FDR's First Inaugural Address. This shows that even though to fear is human , we still have to face our fear and tackle it in order not to be destroyed by fear. Thanks for a good post @stellabelle , and a very good piece of art work by @pitter-patter .. bless you all.
Dont forget to check out my post for a link to collect free crypto..a once in a life time opportunity.
Good
The opposite of fear is LOVE.
Be FEARLESS, Choose LOVE!
as long as i am alive, i will experience fear.
Yep, just remember, IT'S YOUR CHOICE. (((And maybe you want to re-think that curse you put on yourself..."as long as I am alive.)))
I agree with this-- everything boils down to fear or love imo ^_^
Yes, and most importantly, "It's a CHOICE."
Whether this experience is experienced, Or short short stories!
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Really inspired.
By@lesmanggis
@stellabelle You are like a diamond. Lot's of facets. You majored in Japanese in college? That is really interesting.
You have proven that you can hustle and were able to diversify with STEEM and DASH. In an earlier post I remember you not getting a good feeling about Synereo. Recently I was looking into that and I'm not impressed at this point.
I feel like you will find a small handful of other projects to diversify into and will continue to thrive in cryptoland.
interesting post
thank for to sharing
I have the same feelings, looking at the right pic. Bird babies making me nervous lols...
Well said. Completely agree with that
take your time off and get well soon!
Nice post, please follback n vote n comment @hadimemories, need your help upvote in my blog. Thanks
Sorry about your arm, hope you get better soon, you might have to dictate posts to someone else :) !!awesome post though. I feel the same way. I like what EOS is doing. And that picture of the birds reminds me of having people depend on me, it's stressful haha. I would also much rather have a shell I could go in to hide from everyone. Best wishes stella, you were appreciated
Thanks for sharing your post is very amazing and interesting
Diversify into 10 or more "good" coins, after doing research, and then less to worry about from any one coin. Also take some profit and bank it , if your investments have gone way up.
I am not an investment adviser, just shooting my mouth off, for entertainment purposes only! :P
I hope your arm feels better very soon! We all need rest occasionally. Wishing you all the best!
well i have done part of what you say.......i have no fiat money coming in.....that's my main worry.
I absolutely agree with what you are saying and understand the feeling very well.
I think it's important to realize that when it comes to big life decision, despite the fact that fear is supposed to be a deterrent to recklessness, fear is generally unproductive. You need a clear mind and fear clouds it.
Another thing to be aware of is, that we are actually always vulnerable, like it or not. Protecting yourself from vulnerability is not really possible. Life is always a risk and not taking a risk hides the risk of a missed opportunity.
That's why I try to make the best decisions based on the data currently available and my ambitions and desires and when looking back, I only evaluate mistakes in the sense of learning from my experiences and try not to allow regret to play any significant role.
Very well said. I can see how either would hold someone back. I let fear rule many parts of my life for a long time but not anymore. I think its good to have a measure of vulnerability while being cautious not to show too much. I think it helps to allow people into your life and to trust you more. Just have to be careful though. Good post. Made me think! Thanks.
And the opposite of vulnerability is cowardice...............So i braved up and post twice or 4 times per day for 3 months here now
Not that it will be much help for your break from computers but you could always use one of your device's speech to type features to create posts while resting your hands! :)
yes, i know.....it's kind of like reading and writing are my compulsions. this is what I am trying to get control over.
Feeling vulnerable and feeling fear is what makes us always alert, these feelings are born with life, if at any time of it you get it, only god can sebaer in what you become, are feelings of survival.
Beautiful work dear friend @stellabelle as everything you do
Have a great start to the week
Conquer fear of death and such and your adversaries become toothless- when they see that you no longer fear them.......they fear YOU
good advice!
when I feel some fear, it is always caused by uncertainties, one can not be sure to be alive tomorrow, or to still have this established job, or to still have a family...on these cases, I soothe myself with that (and hope it will speak to you and help, my Lovelie) :
"when nothing is certain, everything is possible"
and then i turn my thoughts in the direction of all the things I want to create as my life, because i know the universe will reorganise to be all these things ....it really works , because it's quantic information and organisation ...don't let fear be your advisor 😘❤❤❤ @stellabelle
i never have any idea if things will work out or not. The universe is full of chaos and doesn't care about human life, certainly not mine. I am an atheist for obvious reasons.
As said nothing is sure, and I personaly think this chaos makes all possible ;-)
fear is the mindkiller!
Don't worry about a thing. EOS/Bitshares is where you need to be plopping your whale blubber. The last week must have made you sick.... but it's all ok. This whole run-up and subsequent correction is really just a probing of the entire market. People want to know what will replace Bitcoin, and they tested the waters with Ether and found it unsatisfactory.
Bitshares at 20 cents? No-brainer.
Take care stella; really enjoying your writing.
Thanks..........it is a bit deeper than just price fluctuations, the cause of my fear
yeah... price annihilation more like it. What will cause the whole party to end?
Don't know, but I know I wanna be in something else before that happens! :)
Wonderful honest & transparent post as always! Your title drew me in saying the opposite of fear is vulnerability. I always felt the opposite of fear is Love.
In searching for the opposite meanings of fear I can a fantastic blog that I feel shows the progression of transitioning from fear to the opposite. "The opposite of fear is safety.
Safe to be real
Safe to feel stressed out
Safe to be imperfect
Safe to admit marriage problems
Safe to not have all the answers
Safe to make parenting mistakes
Safe to not have it all together
Safe to admit failure, struggle, sin, addiction”
The opposite of fear is acceptance, which leads to curiosity, which leads to a sense of understanding, which leads to feelings of safety, trust, and finally, love."- https://clarity-first.com/what-is-the-opposite-of-fear/
well, for those of us who are not ready for love...we can start with trying out vulnerability....
Ah absolutely agree. As I said it is a process and one that never seems to stop!
Beautiful photos Thanks for your support+follow
Hello @stellabelle, First gratz on stopping drinking thumbs up
I don't want to give advice just share what I do OK :)
What I do when I get scared of whatever, I tell my self :
Everything is fine right now in this moment, isn't it ?
This moment are the keywords.
I try to stay in the moment and not worry about stuff that is in the future.
I fail a lot LOL but that is OK, there are also many moments that I was in fear that I managed to change arround.
Sometimes I also strongly start to focus on something else and once in a while I tell my fear OK come and get me .... that sometimes helps aswell.
That is the Vulnerability you speak of I think :)
I had a social phobia for 15 years so I know what fear is :)
I hope your arm will heal soon hugs
Vulnerability would be no problem if there would be no assholes in the world.
Irrational fear is familiar to me. Even in my early childhood, I was afraid that something would suddenly happen to the mother. Then frightened, it is necessary to stay with her husband.
I understand that everything can happen in life. But fear kills in advance: (
Ugh, fear...!! You know I actually thought for most of my life that I didn't have fear. Ha haaa!!
Until I moved to Berlin. This city has brought me to my knees and shown me all my fears. Luckily I'm on the other side now...
There are certain things in life that we have trouble explaining/healing from a rational scientific point of view. Fear is one of them, I believe. Fear's only purpose is to keep us alive in a life or death situation. It either makes us run, freeze or fight. For our life.
In normal every day life it has no purpose, yet it's there. And even though a piece of news shouldn't trigger a flight or fight response, it makes us imagine worst case scenarios and puts our whole system on alarm. That's what makes us ill.
I have no solutions for that on that level, that's why I can only deal with fear from a spiritual perspective - the duality of love and fear. I believe fear can only be "loved" away.
That doesn't mean we have to enjoy or like the fear, it just means that we acknowledge it and give it a place. Mostly we try to avoid it and distract ourselves, but that makes it stick even more and clouds our thinking. We can't run away from it.
My experience is that reality is always much kinder than our fear wants to make us believe. Our fears put us in hell, while the world out there is beautiful.
My new way of dealing with fear is to allow myself to feel it (this might be an old way for you or anyone else...).
I literally sit down and say "Anja, you're experiencing fear. This is what it feels like in your body." Last time I did this, the situation got "magically" resolved after I allowed myself to imagine the worst case scenario in detail. It was all in my head...
And sometimes we just have off days. And a couple of days later our hormones or mood or whatever influences us are in balance again and we think about the same subject in a completely different and more relaxed way.
Maybe it helps to remember that you don't have to believe every single thought you have :)
Fear is dream killer, we should not let fear control our lives. Find your passion(s) and follow it fearlessly.
Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real. Keep your chin up, you're doing it. Diversify your efforts in to more streams of income doing what you enjoy. Can't type, start a podcast or videocast or get dictation software. Don't limit your beliefs or believe your limiting beliefs. Action kills fear. You got this.
Fear is scary but we need it to keep us in check
Nice post and real. I was blind sided by a very unexpected event that changed my life. I meditated and prayed every day for things to be the way I wanted them. It didn't happen and I later came to understand it was for the best. I didn't see how I could survive emotionally or financially. A good friend said to me, "just take one bite of the elephant at a time". And, also, "a way will be made." It was hard but gradually I could see a new life unfolding. Fear is a necessary evil I guess much like anger but both waste lots of thought and energy. All the best to you and anyone who deals with either of these.
This comes from a good hearth trust me when I say I'm not in any way attacking you. But somethimes the hard questions are the ones that need to be asked. I understand you have to make things a good read but I'm just reacting to what I'm reading here, hoping you can find some sort of value in it. I think it's great you are adapting your brain for change and making a plan of action.
"If I make bad decisions, my family will go down with me. I have no back up, nothing preventing me from falling, if I were to fuck up in some big way."
So ask yourself the question.. how do I create a back up? Who can I turn to to help me?
"The truth is, my only existing lifeline is in Steemit. There's nothing else."
Nothing else.. in this whole wide world? If there isn't. How can you make sure there is?
"I crumble under too much routine. "
"The fear revolves around losing my freedom. I am a complete disaster"
"our fears which continually crop up will have to be managed in new ways."
It all starts with self-talk. Destructive self talk is the root of all evil.
"I am a complete disaster" Instead: "I've had times I felt better"
"I crumble" Instead: "There are other things that give me more energy"
Whatever you say to yourself your brain will start believing and whatever question you ask yourself your brain will find an answer to. So they might as well be constructive.
P.s. the snail instantly got me thinking about Mayuri from bleach. Notice the eyes in it.. So that freaked me out more then the birds.
I love feeling vulnerable and going with it, it actually feels great. Sometimes people hear me say things that are hard to say and they are shocked that I can share such things but I smile because I have done it so many times that I am getting more and more used to it. Still not a pro and sometimes there are things that are hard to say because they should not be said. ;)
The thing is, everyone naturally experiences fear. But what separates a winner from the rest is that they control that fear. Good post @Stellabelle. I will now give you a follow :) And an upvote :)
Very interesting thoughts, thanks for sharing. I've got one of those 8hr a day jobs on computer. So I understand wanting something different than that. I also understand carpal tunnel, my wrists started hurting while working 6 years ago. I immediately found the keyboard below and have bought one at every job I've been at in the last 6 years and currently have one in three offices. My wrists rate hurt now that I use it. I wouldn't offer advice if it hadn't worked so well for me because not using a computer for my job isn't an option. I hope it helps you. I made my sister order one when she bought a computer last year.
https://smile.amazon.com/Logitech-Wireless-Wave-Combo-MK550/dp/B003VAHYNC/ref=smi_www_rco2_go_smi_g2923230482?_encoding=UTF8&%2AVersion%2A=1&%2Aentries%2A=0&ie=UTF8
Not to come from a place of judgment as I feel similar to you in this respect, but I feel your sense of fear of failure due to being financially propped up by one source is a good fear to have. I believe this fear will help keep you honest and over time help you to look for other ways to supplement that singular income. I believe you seem to be on the right path and by your posts alone I know you have to intelligence and work ethic to continue to succeed, as you already are. I personally felt a bit like the birds were going to eat the snail in the pictures above, as often happens in this kingdom of animals. I hope you continue with this sense of rational fear as it tends to be healthy and vigilant. As always, thank you for sharing @ stellabelle. Your posts often discuss topics that I myself do not think of often. So for that I want to sincerely thank you. This type of inclusion of ideas and topics we would not normally see in our lives is what makes Steemit so great. It brings us all together to learn and conversate with eachother, in the end making us all better humans. Cheers
wow man
Great article! Thanks for sharing.
You know what dear, that fear and insecurity that you have is completely normal. That is mind of intelligent woman. It is labyrinth of thoughts and hopes which we create ourselves. When you are "free", before you get kids everything seems to be fun and challenging, new battles to conquer. The moment you give birth something rewires in brain and instead of excitement because of new things and uncertainty, like before, fear of future kicks in. I am on the same boat, so I understand you completely.
I completely like this one
really well done @stellabelle
Here is a different perspective. The sensation of fear is cultivated over time through repetitive destructive thinking(which maybe an outcome of life events). When you break the cycle you disempower the fear associated with it.
Dictation AI can always help when your hands start hurting. Voice recognition software has come a long way. 🤓
Fear is a part of our natural make up. It's only when we focus too much on fearful situations and ruminate on them that we unknowingly feed the fear cycle. The more attention we give to our fears the more fuel we are giving them. Blocking them out or distracting oneself from them wont get rid of them either. We must allow the fear to flow with all of its terrifying possibilities while staying aware but not placing attention on anything. With time the energy behind the fear will diminish leaving the fearful thoughts neutral with no intense energy behind them.
true dat.