Why I don't call my father on father's day. PART 2

in #fathersday6 years ago

I am pretty sure the primary events of this story take place before the events of my last post. So I think I was around 3 years old when this happened. My parents owned this barbershop which was not very successful. Consequently they could not afford a babysitter for me so they would bring me with them to the shop during the entire 10 or so hours that they worked there. My parents (who both came from broken homes and had zero parenting skills) apparently expected my 3 year old self to just sit still watching TV all day long and never cause any kind of disturbance.

Amazingly I was unable to do this day in and day out. I don’t remember what I did to make my parents so angry at me on this particular day but they decided as way of punishment that after it was time to close the shop they would turn off all the lights, lock up and leave me behind in the dark barbershop as they drove away. I was absolutely shocked by this. As I said, I cannot remember what I did to make them so upset by I do remember that at the time I was completely clueless on why they were even angry at me. I remember thinking my behavior that day was actually pretty good. I couldn’t think of anything I did that warranted even getting yelled at let alone that the two people who I loved more than anyone else in the entire world would do this to me totally shocked and undoubtedly traumatized me considerably.

I immediately started crying my eyes out and begged them not to leave me but they just ignored me. My parents had previously told me that the barber shop had a problem with mice. I can remember standing there at the door of the barber shop, in the dark, looking out into the scary night, crying uncontrollably believing that the mice would come eat me alive at any second. I know people have had much more horrible experiences happen to them but I think I can still say I experienced a level of terror that night that most people never experience. Eventually my parents did come back to get me. I don’t think it had anything to do with my personal welfare. I’m sure they probably realized they were taking an awful chance of someone seeing me at the glass door and calling the police.

I forgot about this even for many years. I am sure there are probably similar events done to me by my parents that I still can’t remember. Fast forward to 2010, for almost 10 years I had had been very angry at my father for letting his bitch wife convince him to take away my copy of the key to his house without any explanation, despite me begging him for one. When he wouldn’t give me an explanation I gave him the damn key and stormed out of his house and never returned. I would never spend another holiday with him after that day. The closest I would ever come would be allowing him to bring my nephew over to see me on Christmas day in 2009.

Soon after taking the key back my father realized he fucked up bad. He tried several times to get me to return to his house not long afterwards. After a few years I started allowing him some very limited participation in my life. In 2010 I had been out of work for a while and got an opportunity for a temporary assignment out of state that paid very well. To take the job I would need someone to watch my dog. I asked my father and instead of jumping at the opportunity to get closer to my good side, he decided he was going to use my predicament as a way to twist my arm into kissing his bitch wife’s ass. So basically my father knew that he was on thin ice with me and instead of treading lightly and cautiously on the ice he decided to start jumping up and down on it as hard as he could. His rationale was that his wife would be doing most of the caring for the dog while he was at work so I should thank her. I refused and told him she didn’t have to be at all involved. If he wanted to he could leave my dog outside all day long and feed the dog himself either before or after he got home from work.

We started arguing and somehow the subject of that night they left me in the barbershop came up. I had not brought it up to him since it happened until this night. Instead of acting remorseful or apologetic he completely dismissed my claims of how terrified I was that night. That was the final straw. I turned into Ralph Kramden and yelled at him to GET OUT! He looked at me stunned. I replied to his look by yelling “I AIN’T PLAYING! GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

He got up and is now saying in a suddenly desperate tone “what about the dog?”

I yelled at him that I would take care of my dog and for him to just get out. As he was leaving he told me several times to never call him again. I yelled at him that I wouldn’t and slammed the door shut. Just a few weeks later he was trying to call and text me but I ignored every one. I have long since got a new number but he still tries to message me on facebook and sends me friend requests but I can assure you all that this is an exercise in futility.

I will say that I believe that the idea of leaving me behind that night probably came from that horrible woman who gave birth to me (not my father’s current wife). As bad of a parent that my father was, my mother was at least twice as horrible. I think I said in a previous post that I believe my father probably loved me on some level but my mother absolutely despised me because she didn’t love my father and I was the only reason she was married to him. I think I have also said that I am convinced she seriously considered pulling a Casey Anthony on me. Nevertheless my pussy whipped father who did love my mother for some insane reason, supported her decision to leave me behind.

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What is your father answer when you ask him about the incident 10 years ago?

His answer is "Give me my key!"

Wow, I understand the feeling of not having an answer for a simple question.
The only thing I do is to keep believing that 'The more worst my challenge in life be, the better life I will have in the future'.
Now I understand why you ask me to wait for part 2.

But..

Please don't stop givong him a chance no matter how many times does he need because we ourself, will be given a lot of chances by the Lord.

It will be hard and it will be painful but someday, it may change for better.
Always tell him how you feel, at least you have said it and you will have no regret.

Well, this is only an opinion vause the one hurting is all you.
Take care @jeffyanez.