FACTs about Domestic Violence

in #familyprotection7 years ago

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One thing’s for sure! Domestic violence is on the rise. As a society we have a responsibility to help protect those who are victims of domestic violence. Furthermore, it is equally as important to identify why domestic violence occurs in the first place and how we can stop it!

After extensive research I have narrowed down the list to a potential 10-main-reasons why an individual may become an abuser in their love relationship. Please note that these are just a rough guide and does not apply to every human-being that presents these traits in their personality:

#1 – Controlling personality

This may seem obvious but then again there are many controlling personalities out there in society who would never hurt a fly. However, if an individual is feeling threatened or undermined, this could be early warning signs. Even controlling personalities must acknowledge other people’s opinions. Especially their partner!

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#2 – Below the line thinker

Below the line thinking is a term I like to associate with someone who cannot take responsibility for their own actions. For example, if I need to be on the other side of town by 11am, and I miss the 9.30am train, as a below-the-line-thinker I would blame the train or the weather… or anything that diverts responsibility away from me. However, if I was thinking above-the-line, I would take full responsibility for missing the train and would encourage myself to plan my commute better next time. Below-the-line-thinkers pose a potential risk for blaming their problems on someone else… Like a future loved one.

#3 – Traditional attitudes

This is usually a big-red-flag for most people. Someone who believes in traditional views, such as, women should be in the kitchen; or women are not equal to men. This type of attitude can be very toxic in a family home. If a potential partner is not living up to “Mr Traditional’s” views, then this could fuel the fire, so to speak.

#4 – Spoilt Brat

This is an obvious fact. If someone has been spoilt their whole life, it becomes an expectation in their love relationship as well. Someone use to getting their way can also generate unrealistic expectations from their partner in this day and age.

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#5 – Anger problems

Someone who is quick to anger is potentially a big threat. Whether they are verbally or physically abusive, they can create a toxic environment around their peers and even love partners.

#6 – Safer the children

Sadly this is a vicious circle. It is more than likely, that any child who experience domestic violence during their childhood on a regular basis, may experience learning difficulties and unfortunately become a violent individual themselves – as they see it as normal.

#7 – Alcohol and drugs

An individual who is heavily into drinking and drugs – and cannot have a good time without these substances can raise serious alarm bells. As well as anger and financial issues being associated with an excessive drinker (or drug taker), they also process unpredictability. And perhaps this is what makes it so scary!

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#8 – Previous victim of domestic violence

Previous victims of domestic violence can become the perpetrator. Again… I must stress that this is not all cases. But if you can imagine someone being abused since they left home and they only experienced that one relationship, then they may not know any better. On the flip side… victims of domestic violence can be very strong and independent people. In a majority of cases, they can find a suitable (abuse free) relationship afterwards.

#9 – Financially immature

Money Money Money!
Money is one of the number-one things couples will fight about. And of course, this can lead to physical and mental abuse. If a potential partner is financially immature, then it may mean they would not be able to budget well in the future.

#10 – Cultural influences

It is true that some cultures do not recognize Women as a Man’s equal. Rather, the women is still today treated as a slave. In a multicultural society this could be a problem where an individual, due to their cultural upbringings, may have a different point of view. However, as an individual, it is your right to be treated appropriately under the law of your country. Most places in the Western World do not recognize men as a superior to women.

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Conclusion

Whether domestic violence will always occur is something we cannot predict. It is up to the community, friends, family and associates to always keep a watchful eye on our peers and ensure we constantly create awareness towards domestic violence. It shouldn’t happen but it does! Lets work together to stop it from happening!

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Thanks for this I can tell you are very talented! I think money fights are key, because they lead to stress, which leads to heart disease, which leads to death!

Yes, the financial issue greatly affects our well-being

Yeah.... so true. Are you into personal development books at all?

Oh, no) But that's a good idea!

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When people create a family, they are guided only by feelings. Although often at meetings before marriage, you can identify a potential rapist of the family. The guy uses extra alcohol, it's rough, insults the girl, humiliates her.
But the girls do not pay attention to this. They love. Marry these guys, and then suffer. And they could break off relations before they became legal. It would be much less grief in families. To choose a life partner should be approached very seriously.

I agree with you! This can be seen right away in most cases. But sometimes the personality changes with the years. In any case, this is unacceptable! This can not be tolerated. In this case, I urge not to be silent about it, but to seek help. Thank you very much for your opinion!

This is the case when prevention is a much more important solution to the consequences. Good luck to you and Good.

Это тот случай, когда профилактика намного важней решение последствий. Удачи Вам и Добра.

Ну если она возможно, конечно. Спасибо большое!

Всегда пожалуйста.

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Oke :-)

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Thank you so much!

Your post is amazing, the domestic violence is one of the biggest issue now a days and the factors you define in your post is appreciable. Its full of information and having a lot to learn.
Thanks for sharing such a lovely post.
Thanks

Thank you! I just want to remind people about the important things in our life.

Well, you're doing a good job, thanks!

Yes we have to realise the people about the importance of it. Except Topic

I see in your profile that you're a psychologist. I'm wondering if you treat the victims of abuse, the abusers, or both. Either way, that has to be difficult. I appreciate what you do as a psychologist. Treating the sources of domestic violence at the level of the individual is crucial.

As a social theorist, I tend to focus more on the structural conditions that inform individual behavior. Some social attitudes perpetuate domestic violence, which is in many ways an extension of the social violence (metaphorical and literal) to which women as a group have historically been subjected.

You suggest as much when you mention traditional values and cultural influences. But I think those influences are broader and more insidious than you suggest. Domestic violence occurs even in the Western World where women are supposedly men's "equal." I think that stems from a deeply ingrained attitude men AND women have about women.

By way of example, a family member was complaining recently about two politicians, and he criticized the man by name but referred to the woman simply as "that bitch!" I suggested to him that if he wanted to try being less sexist he could start by recognizing what he had just done was sexist--according the man an identity but reducing the woman to a negative stereotype.

I'm guilty of the same thing. I was crossing a street in NY many years ago when a man in front of us struck a woman in the face and walked away mumbling. My first reaction was to wonder what she had done to incite him. It was only later, as we helped her to the sidewalk, that we realized he was a stranger with emotional problems and she an innocent pedestrian who simply got in his way.

Trust me, I have encountered both men and women that I have wanted to throttle. Most of us are well adjusted enough to avoid acting on those impulses. But I would like to reach a point in myself and in our society where our first impulse is not blaming the victim. Know what I mean?

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one of the aspects that fuels gender violence without a doubt is education, society has assigned a role to each gender and in many opportunities it is inflexible

so good thoughts.