So sorry to hear its getting even more worrying. You sound like such a strong person, but there are limits to what you can do. Have you read the recent post by @tonyr which covers the importance of using the right words? I don't know if there's anything there that might help. Have you thought where you might go?
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I will read it now. No, I haven't really thought about where to go at all. A friend of mine recently asked if we would like to spend some time with her and her daughter in Hawaii, and I've been seriously thinking about it, even just to have time to think about my next move, but it's not financially feasible at the moment, plus my eldest doesn't want to leave and she's still too young to just leave her behind (almost 16). I did talk to her about it and she does understand that if shit hits the fan that she'll have to come along. But she won't be happy about it and she's been through enough. The others don't mind where we go or what we do, so that will be easier.