DON'T ALLOW THE CPS INTO YOUR LIFE

When the social services person comes knocking at your door, you are under no obligation to answer it. There are folks who screen phone calls. That is what caller ID is about. Why can't you screen visitors? Knowledge is power. By opening the front door to the social worker, you are giving the CPS power. You are showing them your home life which is none of their damn business. Unless they have a warrant, you do not need to open the door to them. Unannounced visits are disrespectful and unacceptable. They will not be tolerated.

Give the Devil an inch and he will rule your life. So too is the CPS when you open your front door to them.

However if you do open the door here are some good tips as a primer on documentation and communication to help in the warfare against the CPS.

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!

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This serves several purposes. It gives you record of this visit or verbal transaction (yes a conversation is a verbal transaction between two or more people). Second, it shows the CPS you are not a push over and are on to them. This documentation takes several forms.

1. Consider a security camera at your front door. This is a warning to anyone who visits you that you mean business.

2. Video tape any conversations you have with your social worker. This gives you a receipt of your meeting. You are given a sales receipt upon a purchase of a item for sale. A conversatitooon with an entity who may pose legal concerns is no different.

3. Journal. Yes write in your own handwriting and journal about the visit. This could be a transcript of the video tape and/or your personal feelings about the visit. Think about their non verbal communication too. How do they present themselves? What are they wearing? Do they give a firm handshake or a wimpy one? What bout eye contact? Keep this journal in a safe place. You also may wish to input the data on your laptop with an external hard drive copy to your availability.

4. Have a witness or two. Never allow the CPS to be in your presence without a witness This can work as a cop y of receipt of your experience with them. It is only safe and smart. For legal reasons do this if nothing else. It should be someone you feel comfortable with.

5. Consider a kodak moment. This may sound crazy, however then you will have a photo of your case worker. A picture paints a thousand words. This will probably take them off guard. Facial expressions, presentation, wardrobe and mannerisms can communicate a lot. As you study that photo, you can take time to learn much about the personality and psychology of you social worker. Do they show eye contact? How do they place their hands, how do they carry themselves? If you are gutsy, consider a selfie with them. This may intimidate them and that is good. That shows you are on the offense rather than defense.

6. Meet in a public neutral location. Never meet them at your home. That provides them with information and power. By choosing a public location, you have access to additional witnesses. You also have the deterrent that they are less apt to pull a fast one. Consider a place that has a video camera there. Please note that a business surveillance camera does not take the place of you recording the meeting.

7. Never meet a social worker or any person in the CPS without documenting the meeting. End of discussion. Absolutely no discussion. Cover your ass. You will be glad you did.

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AND WHAT ARE YOU COMMUNICATING TO YOUR CPS SOCIAL WORKER?

One must consider the verbal and non-verbal communication of the social worker. People communicate differently. Be perceptive to know the communication style of your social worker. Tune into their patterns and abilities or lack thereof. The musical, 'Cats,' conveyed most effectively in the writing by T. S. Elliott that you do not communicate with each other the same.

However too often the parent's communication is overlooked. How do you see yourself? How do you think the social worker sees you? And finally, how do you think the social worker thinks you are viewing them? Let's consider a few things.

Attitude

So what is your attitude? Is us a help me! Help me! I am so stressed out and am in tears by having to deal with you social worker? Or is it I am confident and got my shit together so don't you dare tread on me! This may sound harsh, but that dear kind sweet social worker WILL USE YOUR EMOTION AND ATTITUDE TO THEIR ADVANTAGE.

Don't let them see you sweat!

You may have to use any acting skills while in their presence. But it is time to pull yourself up by the boot straps. Suck it up buttercup. Put on your big girl panties. Again they will use your emotion against you. Have a good close friend who is supportive that you can emotionally dump on later. They will understand if they are truly a friend.

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Your Children

Your children are an extension of you. Just like employees represent the company for which they serve, so too are your children. In both instances an image is necessary. If an employee is good at work, but displays a different image off the clock, they can be a liability to the company and may forfeit their job. Image and duplication are important. If you are creating an image to the CPS and are private in what you convey to the social worker, you need your children to do the same.

Leaky lips sink ships.

When I grew up it was common to not talk to strangers. The social worker is an extension of this stranger danger. Have an open, loving relationship with your children and nurture that bond. Explain to them the situation and what you need from them. Explain the need of privacy and duplication to what you do. Be like mommy is a good mentality. The fireside talk and nurturing will pay off when you have to deal with the CPS.

Verbal Communication

People listen to what we say. Words and sentences can uplift or destroy. They can also get our ass in trouble. The good Lord gave us two ears, two eyes, two hands and one mouth. Our brain works as a filtering system to censor what we speak. Consider censoring what you say in front of the social worker. Pick your words carefully. Do not let emotion overcome you. Also consider the implications of vocal inflections and how the social worker will interpret you inflection. For example the word 'really' can be said multiple ways. Other words can do the same. In contrast the lack of vocal inflection can hamper communication when texting. Choose your communication carefully. What you choose to escape from your mouth can never be put back in your mouth nor can it be erased. Also what you choose to text is a permanent transcription.

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Body Language

Verbal language is only 7% of our communication. Non-verbal comprises the remaining 93% and is most important in the messages we are sending. Our attitude and how we dress is part of he non-verbal communication. But so too is our body language. This can include the following:

eye contact
handshakes
our gait or walk
our posture
our disposition
Presentation and dress
Emotion or nervousness

If we are tired we will have a different gait or posture than when we are full of energy. Our disposition can vary depending on the interaction of others. Our eye contact or type of handshake can communicate volumes. For example a wimpy handshake cam show insecurity or mistrust while a firm handshake can convey confidence.

Please know that the Social worker is listening to your body language. The CPS wants to know how vulnerable you are so they can go in for the kill. Don't allow that. Take control of your body language around them. Be conscience of what you are communicating to the CPS. You can always slouch later. Your children and your life depend on it.

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Wardrobe.

You may think it extreme but colors and materials can communicate too. A man in a three piece suit from Macy's paints an entirely different picture than the blue jean t-shirt image. The color blue tells me that person is creative. A bright red tells me they can be a loud person. A brown or earth tone can exhibit voidness of emotion. Jewelry can also play a part in this. Are you in flip flops or work shoes? It may not make any difference to you. However a good social worker (if there are any) will pay attention to this non-verbal communication. He/She can use this info to get a handle on your mood or how you live. If you wear shotty clothes, you may be telling the social worker that you are pennyless and unable to support your children. Personal hygiene can also play a part. Combed hair, cleaned eye glasses or fresh breath is good. How you dress or dress your children is your decision. But it is worth your consideration.

Include God

God is the glue that keeps a family together. When I was young, I grew up for a period at grandma's house. In the dining room/kitchen, she had a plastic wall hanging that said. "The family that prays together, stays together.' So true.

When the CPS knows you are glued with God, they know you are not an easy push over target. You are sending a clear and direct message. God bonds this family and you the social worker cannot sever it. This communicates volumes.

You need this glue and help from God when dealing with the CPS. Consider praying with your children daily. Consider a book of Bible stories or devotionals with your children. Consider God. He has your back. He loves you. He is in your corner.

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In CLOSING

Documentation and communication are important in the warfare against the CPS. Take time to use these weapons and tools to your advantage. They are there to protect you against the evils of the CPS foster care system. Make these resources your friends and protect your family.

Support Family Protection

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO THE PROTECTION Of FAMILIES AND CHILDREN EVERYWHERE! God bless the folks @familyprotectin who are speaking out for others. I encourage you to support their cause and support the bloggers who expose this tyranny and injustice. I want to offer a shout out to @canadian-coconut and @markwhittam in gratitude for all their efforts in this cause. Support @familyprotection.