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I've been working on a book for a while where I'm focussing on the positive outcome of our story
As some of you may know reading my stories, behind the scenes I am writing a book about things that happened to us in Holland dealing with Child Protective Services, but also I would like to try to focus on the positive outcome of people taking back control of their lives. Eventually, I would love to share our whole story, but the story is much more scary than you all know at this point. And actually I still have some fears about several things to share this at this point, but I feel more confident to come forward every day. So we're making progress here. Taking it one step at the time.
For me it works really good to focus as much as possible on the positive sides of these events
Actually I think it would be best for me (to keep going in this direction at this pace) when I focus on the positive things that I've learned, and the good part of this whole awful period we've been through. I am talking about getting back on our own feet, due to our own strength. Believing in ourselves again and do what has to be done. Because I know this is something we can be proud of in the end, we did this ourselves. We thought outside of the box for the solution.
Of course this path is not the same for every person in this situation, and I don't want to say that this is right for you if you are in a similar situation, not at all. But it got me thinking while it passed my mind today when I realized what we have accomplished due to our own power and own decisions that we've made to get out of the bad situation what we were in.
Dutch people dealing with CPS in Holland crossing the Belgium borders to keep their children save from CPS
I know for example, that many people dealing with the Dutch Child Protective Services run away to Belgium. And the statistics (I have read several sources when still in Holland) say that many of those people that are threatened by the Dutch CPS to lose their children, will not be at the radar of the Belgium CPS anymore when they moved there. Back in the days I actually over thought this option several times, but I knew it would not been the right one for us, because my ex would have continued the stalking part just as hard as he did in Holland. Because it was not far away, and probably he had connections there too.
Those people are in my eyes fugitives from their own government, running to keep their family together
Actually all those people running away from Holland to Belgium due to threats of the children that they may take from away from the parents, are fugitives in my opinion. And I know of cases where parents speak openly about their plans leaving to another country, where the children are placed in foster care immediately. I always kept my mouth shut about our plans, I knew if they would hear that we wanted to leave Holland, our youngest would have been taken too. Because the parents are running away from the problems. Yeah, we were, but they don't realize that we asked help in every possible way, and our lives were in danger at that point. So YES, indeed we ran away, to make sure we would survive this horrible nightmare we were in. We even discussed the option if we could cross the Belgium border and throw away our passports to be a political fugitive. You start over weighing all the (sometimes crazy) options too, because nobody is helping you, at all. And if you have a little baby to take care of, you want to make sure she is safe too, we both knew, we need to get out of there, as soon as we could!
I am looking for people gone through the same issues that successfully left their home country to start a new life
So here in this community there are people from all over the world, dealing with similar problems. Luckily some of them have already overcome them, and are reunited with the children that they had to miss so much, but I am guessing that there are more of you out there like us, that did not see any other option to leave the country you lived in at the time CPS was starting to make threats. I am hoping to speak to parents (where in the world doesn't matter) have left the country like us, to start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere they felt safe and there was no CPS interference anymore. And I am hoping to find other inspirational stories actually, that now can look back and say: I have seen rock bottom (even if this was "only" emotional because you did not know what to do anymore and saw no solution anymore at one point) and now you got a new life, due to your own strength.
We wanted to avoid our baby to also being a victim of this horrible situation
We lost our house, belongings, the two oldest children live at their father, who is a violent and dangerous person, but due to flaws of CPS I did not hear about his request for full custody, and I was not informed. At that moment that I was told I could not just turn this around anymore, and was not allowed to see or speak to them by their father, I knew I had to make sure our little baby girl was not going to be a victim of this situation of my choices in the past. For her I had to become the strongest person I can be again. Because only then, I can find the power to fight again for the other 2 children too. And believe me, this is not a decision made overnight, and it is actually one of the hardest things I had to decide in my life. It took me a while to convince myself that this was the only way, and then I still had to convince my boyfriend, who fully supported me, and saw me being a shade of myself. He knew that I had to be in a new environment to become the strong person I was again. He never questioned it, and followed me in my decision to leave Holland. (True love!)
I got fed up of trying to explain we already did everything that people advised us to do
People not being in that situation did not understand, and actually at that point I was so done to try to convince them why and how, and when... I decided enough is enough, I listened to every advice, tried every option people suggested as the solution, without any result. When they said to us: "No this is not possible because I know somebody that did this too, and was helped immediately." After so many times, I was fed up, I knew I could not cope anymore, and I wanted to do everything to make sure our baby was going to be happy and safe, and from that point we could start to climb up again and making a plan to get the oldest two back.. This was the only way, I was and am 200% convinced that this is true.
Are you willing to share your success story of do you know a person that is willing to?
I want to know if you are a person / family that did the same thing like we did, left your country to escape from the horrible things government was doing to you? It doesn't matter if this was CPS interference or for example gang stalking, or maybe worse both of these things. I would like to collect these stories of people worldwide to process later on this year in one of my books. To make comparisons of those horrible things happening in different countries, and to show other people how you solved these matters by taking back control of your own life. And especially when they did not leave you any room to have control anymore in your home country (like in our case) I find that very interesting. If you would like to share your story, please leave a comment so we can discuss to contact each other (for example) by discord.
Maybe needless to say, but going to anyway: Don't worry that I will invade your privacy, because I know this is important. I will never take a risk to put any of you in danger by sharing something. What we talk about, is confident. And nothing will be used or shared without your explicit permission! I am still in the research phase, so gathering information from people firsthanded that are willing to participate in sharing their success stories. To empower others in the same situation as we once were.
Hopefully I can connect with at least one person for now, that would be great! Your story matters, and may help others in the future.. Let's make a difference together!
Thank you very much for learning that I learned a lot from reading this post and posted a beautiful one
Nobody? :(