This post was inspired by the advice I want to give my daughter on her 18th birthday. I decided to share it with the world because daughters everywhere could benefit from this advice. The world finally considers you an adult, which means you can vote, sign a legal contract, open a personal bank account, rent an apartment, move out, get married, and so much more. With great power comes great responsibility. You have always been responsible for your age, but you are now venturing into unknown territory.
For your 18th birthday I want to give you the gift of advice informed by a lifetime of experience from making many good and many bad decisions. Some of this advice runs counter to choices I made, it is my prayer that you save yourself the grief of making the same mistakes. In all cases my advice can be summed up as love our creator with all of year heart, mind, and soul and have faith to obey his commands and instructions regardless any fleshly considerations.
- God, YHVH, is real and His word is true. The world will try to water down the significance of God and undermine His word and convince you that his commandments don’t apply for today. You were created by Him for a purpose. We did not evolve and the world is not millions of years old. The world is about 6000 years old. You may think these beliefs are “anti-science” or that you can combine belief in God with evolution. I made that mistake and it fundamentally undermined my faith. This small seed of disbelief produces the fruit of disobedience and rebellion to His word. If you are ever tempted to put your faith in the opinions of evolutionists I encourage you to check out AnswersInGenesis.org.
- Forgive as you wish to be forgiven, for with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Yeshua paid the highest price because of our sin, and nothing anyone else could ever do to you can compare with the mercy He has shown us. Be careful of the sin of pride in thinking that your sins are less than others, because Yeshua came to die for everyone. Read Matthew 18:21-35, the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. When you truly understand the unpayable debt He has forgiven for us, no wrong of others is too great to be forgiven. Do not forget Matthew 6:12, “And forgive us our debts/sins, as we forgive our debtors (those who sin against us)”. I want to be forgiven; therefore, I seek to eliminate all unforgiveness in my life. I learned, even before coming back to YHVH, that forgiveness is something you do for yourself and not for the other person. Holding on to resentment only hurts yourself and can even have consequences for your physical health.
- Wait on YHVH to bring your perfect husband. His plan is better than anything that you might settle for to avoid being alone. The last thing you want to happen is to be attached to a relationship with a guy you know is wrong for you when the right guy comes along. When the right guy comes you will know! He will be a man who puts Yeshua first in His life and leads you in righteousness. While people can change, do not stack the odds against yourself by being unequally yoked. YHVH knew Adam needed Eve and brought her to Him before Adam even knew what he was missing. If you trust Him and follow Him then He will lead you to your Adam in His time. I encourage you to study everything Derek Prince has to say about marriage and family life .
- Trust YHVH with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. We are often tempted to disregard the guidance provided by the Bible because we think we know better today and our modern customs are different. If you want to find your true love, then you want YHVH to guide your path which means studying and following His advice even if it doesn’t appear to be working in the short term. This is true faith. When you do find your true love, do not structure your marriage around secular philosophy. Your role as a wife and mother is one of the greatest callings of your life; it is why God created women. As a wife you will have to model the relationship of the body of Messiah to Yeshua and your future husband will have to model the relationship of Messiah to the body of believers. Do not undermine the authority of your Husband in the home any more than you would wish to undermine the authority of Yeshua over the church. Your Husband cannot make you submit, nor should He make you, just as Yeshua doesn’t make us submit. Yeshua can only bless us when we are in voluntary submission; likewise, your voluntary submission to your future husband, in spite of his obvious faults, is your testimony of faith in Yeshua. Through submission you will be blessed, and through rebellion you will be cursed. While you wait for your husband, now is time time to voluntarily submit to His word in your life. If you don’t study and practice the value of submission now, then you will not be ready for your future Husband. If your future husband submits to Yeshua as you submit to him then you will be loved and not abused. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves.
- Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another - Romans 13:8. In other words, don’t borrow money or go into debt, even to buy a car or house. YHVH will always make a way for you to be obedient to his word. Be wise with what you have received and make amends with everyone as far as it depends upon you. If you do borrow money, make sure that it is a non-recourse loan so that your debt can always be satisfied by returning the collateral. In this way you will never be in a position of bankruptcy and leaving debt unpaid. Student debt, credit cards, car loans, and most mortgages are recourse loans - avoid them as you would avoid intentionally disobeying God.
- College isn’t worth it. College is the tradition of this world, but is unlikely to provide a return on your investment. This is especially true for the degrees in business, arts, history, philosophy, etc. Statistically, the return on a business degree is $100k over an entire lifetime career; however, if you choose to be a wife and raise children then you will not maximize that career path enough to be able to realize the return. Furthermore, it is not clear that the studies properly factored in inflation. In fact, chances are your degree with have very little to do with the jobs you end up taking. If you are interested in Small Business management then there are ample ways to get better real world experience at a fraction of the cost and time.
- Tell the truth, or at least don’t lie. God is truth and in Him there is no lie. Facing the consequences of the truth can be scary and costly, but at least God is with you in the truth. The long term consequences of the lie are incalculable and outside the will of God. It is better to give up your life for the Truth than to keep your life with a lie. For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever you have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which you have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. Your biggest challenge will be being honest with yourself! It is vitally important that you seek truth and eliminate contradiction in your life.
I give this advice with a prayer that you will have ears to hear and eyes to see; however, in the event you disregard the advice of the earthly father God has given you and choose to take your inheritance, which was claimed before its time, and squander it in wild living, aka living disobedient to God - I want you to know that I strive to embody the nature of the Prodigal son’s father. When you come to your senses, I will be here to celebrate your return.
I do this because I am a prodigal son who has returned to his Creator, confessed that I have sinned against my father and heaven, and that I am not worthy to be counted as His son. He has been faithful and just to forgive my sins and cleans me from all unrighteousness. While I am far from perfect, you have an earthly father who is striving his best to be a representation of our heavenly Father in your life.
It is my prayer that you would reach out to me for advice along your path in life so that you may profit from my hard learned lessons. Lastly, I leave you with a number of YouTube videos to substantiate and elaborate upon the advice given above.
With Love,
Dad
Warren Buffet: College is an Extremely Expensive Waste of Time
The Ramsey Show - Is College Worth It
Jordan Peterson: What to do if not college?
I think it's better to say a little too much and sometimes a little too clumsily than to say nothing at all to your children. My mother had many sayings in store, was a practising Christian and often aroused my resistance. I rejected many things as a young woman, yet I think the friction was important rather than nothing of importance being said or exemplified.
I support all parents who make the difficult attempt to transmit something Christianly motivated in a predominantly - it seems - un-Christian world, rather than feeling uncomfortable about one's origins and pretending that "anything goes", where the young person just wants to see a difference, even if he claims that "religion is stupid" or has other prejudices, when his environment tries to educate him in a purely secular way.
Well done! Your daughter is lucky to know where her father stands in life.
Although I may not believe in your biblical view of the world, there is some great advice here. My own advice to my young son, from a life of being brought up Christian is 'Treat others as you would have them treat you'. With this I don't think he can go far wrong,
A good read and such a great example.
Need to build my speech to have it ready in around 2 years. ;-)
Thanks and a !BEER from me
View or trade
BEER.Hey @dan, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @detlev for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.Only 6000 years old? ¡Holy YHVH! ...then I wonder who created the people of Gobekli Tepe and Boncuklu Tarla?
Uhm, perhaps we should spend a few days on vacation visiting Turkey in more depth to find out.
It is one thing to disagree with part of a publication, then a response would be interpreted as interested in the way you open a debate that also feels like one.
Since a lot more was said in the text than that, I wonder why you are commenting at all?
Well, I only raised a question in my comment. Yeah, maybe one a bit skeptical. So I'm not sure if I completely understand what exactly are you referring to in yours. Would you mind to clarify your comment better?
The tone of your scepticism casts a doubt on whether you even want an answer is what I meant. I can be wrong, hence my question to you. It is indeed difficult, also for me personally, to see 6000 years as a factually credible number. We online commentators tend to disagree with a statement, often without seeming particularly interested in the rest of the text. I noticed that here.
No offence.
Well, it only happens that I know pretty well who Dan is. And for the same reason, I reckon he would be willing to answer my question regardless of the tone of my scepticism. In fact, I suspect he would prolly be interested in that me and everyone else here would know what led him to include that controversial statement that I am questioning in the body of his post. :)
Oh, better you have no doubt that I was genuinely interested in the rest of his text, which I read and digested it all in its integrity and that's precisely where my question came from. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even bothered to comment. Don't you think?
What makes you think that what you noticed is what really happened in this case?
All good babe. No offense has been taken!
I wouldn't know if I can think that unless you are telling me. Which you did and now I know. Thank you.
It may have been a correct observation, though. Since it is not and you told me so, I see that I was too quick with noticing. HaHa! :D
I am curious now if Dan is going to reply.
A long time, since someone called me "babe". LOL
Greetings.
Exactly! of course. And that is precisely what you did. How else could we know something and be sure we are right... if not by asking?
In my book there's no such thing as being too quick with noticing. That's precisely what leads to authentic, very interesting and healthy debates from where one can learn new and truly valuable things. You know?
Well, if I'm sincere, I have the sneaking suspicion that he didn't have the slightest intention of responding to anyone about anything after hitting the publish button. ;o)
I could imagine. That's why I, who am already too old, thought to giving myself the license to break with that unforgivable omission. LoL
Same for you babe and always in good health! Cheers!
This is excellent advice, Dan. When I found Steem the main draw for me; was that my children were young and I wanted to leave a record of who I was, in case something happened and they grew up never knowing their Dad. My Dad was only a toddler when he lost his own.
Great to see you posting; and thanks heaps for getting us started.