Family Loyalty
What's your family 'loyalty' like? Growing up in my family, the loyalty demanded was to my step-mother. My own mom had died two weeks after my ninth birthday (I know, that's hella specific but that's what kept going through my head at the time, 'it's only two weeks after my ninth birthday! it's only two weeks after my ninth birthday!' and she had been my hero.
This is actually a fascinating story... funny how you sit down to write one thing and then another thing wants to be written, isn't it?
Two Girls; One Guy
My dad, let's call him Buck, and my mother... she'll be Becky... went to high school together. They didn't date then (so I've been told) but were friends and in the marching band together.
Tangent; my mother had been a 'first chair violinist' meaning the best violinist at her school, but quit so she could play the triangle in the marching band and go to football games with her friends. Good choices, Ma!
Being as how I was conceived before abortions were legal, recent high school graduates and even high school seniors got married in order to have the sex. Immediately after graduation, my mom married this dude named Keith, who I guess treated her badly... all I ever knew about him was he was awful and his face was scratched out of every yearbook and wedding photo I ever saw. Which is creepy AF, btw.
My father had some kind issue with his high school grades and wasn't going to graduate, so he joined the Army. If I understand correctly, he served and then came back home to California and got reacquainted with my now-divorced mother. They got married and had a bouncing baby boy, my older brother who we'll call Jack.
We'll call my older brother Jack; as in Jack Ass. Jack was the kid who taught himself how to read by the time he was three with nothing more than the alphabet game he was given as a toy. He was a dick to me his whole life, you'll soon hear why, so fuck him.
Some time after Jack was born, my parents started having problems. Given that I've only gotten one-and-a-half versions of this story, I'm not sure how much to believe. According to them, my mother was crazy and violent. Now that I'm older and know more, I think she was badly treated by everyone in her life who was supposed to love her, including my father and my step-mother, a woman she thought was her friend.
This has taken a tole on me, I'm going to stop here for now. I'll write more tomorrow, promise.
xo, b.
Hmm, yeah we all have one of "those" brothers or sisters in the woodwork. but yeah you turned out good, so big props to your Mom! :-) As for my version(s) of Jack in my family... they can go screw themselves... just sayin!
Coming from a totally dysfunctional family myself, I must emphasize that now that you are an adult with children of your own, do you want the past have an effect on your children? You have no control of what happened to other people. Everything that does happen to us will effect us and we must decide how we will handle it.
If your dad and stepmom are still living either make peace or walk away far and fast. Sounds like your stepmom was waiting in the wings very sad Beth.
When I was 26 I found out I had a living grandfather. I was told he was dead. My aunt mentioned something about him (not her father) living in Illinois. I was so angry. I made contact with him and wow, to my shock at the reaction of my grandmother and father for doing that. Never really connected with him, he sent me an easter card once. I have a half uncle out there too.
We define ourselves. That which happens to us will effect us, that which happens to others is beyond our control. Your stepmom sounds like a gem, if you can not make peace than avoid them. Do not let the actions of others take a tole on you. You are responsible for your actions and your minor children's action. Other than that, stress is a killer.
You turned out nice, though. X
I have similar stories, as we all must have. I cut ties with most family, in one way or another. I just don't feel like dredging up past things. So, if they contact me, I will be sociable. But other than that....well. My family starts with me and my immediate family,,,,,wife, daughter and granddaughter. Everyone else takes a back seat,,,,,if I give them a seat at all.
Thought you might be interested in this :-) 💋💗
https://steemit.com/health/@codypanama/what-makes-yellow-smoke-or-flame-the-answer-might-surprise-you
I like your photos. Very interesting. i love family history, trees, insight. Sadly, those who were bullied then end up being bullies themselves. But habits can be broken. We can forgive. People can change. Best of wishes to you.