Are you happy or pretend to be

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Maybe you have been trying to be cool, friendly, good or happy, you may never be. If you have to always try to be happy, then you will never be happy. Maybe the problem is that a lot of people are just trying too hard.

Happiness, like the other emotions, is something you possess not something you just obtain from the street, When you’re angry, pissed off and throwing a socket wrench at your colleagues you're not self-conscious about your state of anger. You are not thinking to yourself, if you're finally angry or if you're doing the right thing, it is just something that sprout up. You inhabit and burst out the anger. The anger is in you. Just like a confident person doesn’t wonder if he is confident, a happy person does not wonder if he is happy. He simply is. What this means is that finding happiness is not achieved in itself, but rather it is the side effect of a particular set of ongoing activities and experience in your life.

This keeps confusing people because happiness is marketed so much these days as a goal in and of itself. Get this particular thing and be happy. Learn this stuff and be happy. But happiness is never a commodity and you can’t buy or achieve happiness. Happiness is something you achieve when you get the other part of your life in order.

Another mistake a lot of people make is thinking happiness is the same as pleasure, this two words are correlated to some extent though but they are never the same. Good food, more time to play, more sex but all this are just mere pleasure and does not signify happiness, ask a drug addict how their pursuit of pleasure turned out. I've read stories of people eating too much and landing them in hospitals, do you think that made them happy?

Happiness is a process. Yes, a process of becoming your ideal self. Happiness are some of the most meaningful moments and activities of our lives, they involve struggle, pains, anger and depair but once you achieve them you look back and get misty eye about them.