Solutions are much more important than problems. What your
mind focuses on inevitably increases. Focus on the problem only
enough to get through the denial and to formulate an effective solution. The problem is always more complex and more familiar
than the solution (often the problem is more dramatic), so you may tend to become stuck on the problem. Some people spend a long
time in therapy that results in a deep understanding of the causes of
their problems. We believe causes are far less important than solutions. You’re special; your problems are not.
It’s no one’s fault. If you want to blame your parents, then you
have to blame their parents and their parents before them. Pretty
soon you are blaming everyone back to the beginning of time. Anyone can see this makes no sense.
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