thank you for your comments @nspart. I really appreciate being able to talk this over with others. If it was not for Mark Passio I would still be completely locked out of the "occult" because I never bothered to look up the meaning of the world...so it's been a year and I have done a lot of studying. I have a spiritual life otherwise and I am strong in that - but yes you are right - I have this weird feeling about these rituals - and I am not a ritual person either - I just started to look into WHO THE HELL ARE THESE ENTITIES? and I don't know. So, I am talking it over with y'all. Thanks for your comments - it helps a lot.