Pain is already a controversial matter in human race as the feel of it is always different from person to person. It is said that the more you grow the more you can adopt pain. But I dare to differ here. Just to clarify, we are talking about mental or emotional pain here and not the physical one. I believe it depends on the person, the situation, the type of experiences they had in life and the kind of pain the person is going through currently. I assume everyone goes through phases every now and then where they think, “Wow, this is new!” So what I’m basically saying is that, there’s no end to the type of pain we can feel until we die. But there’s also a connection to one another. Let me pull out some examples – when you were kids, you experienced the pain of not having a toy you like or seeing your mom giving priorities to your other siblings more than you. Then you start growing up, you don’t get the permission to go out with your friends and feel a pain seeing them having fun. Then you go to college and maybe fail a course. You go through breakups, heartbreaks. Then you are in corporate life, you don’t have time and miss your friends. You get married, you get tangled in life and miss out on your passion or the “me-time” you used to have. It doesn’t end here, people have divorces, lose parents even lose children. These are like the most common pain we get to feel but there are also some little clumsy ones that makes you go crazy. We’ll come back to that in a bit.
Now, let’s look into the ones we already mentioned. There’s a connection, the pain is all about not getting something you love or losing something you love. And depending on the meter of how much you love that specific thing, person or activity decides the measurement of the pain. But the question is that; can we avoid pain? I think we can’t get rid of pain altogether as there are certain types of pain you are bound to have, doesn’t matter how much you try, it’s there. With those you just have to have the experience and deal with it.
But there are these another kinds also which I think sometimes we can make peace with. These are the gawky little ones. Such as – seeing your best friend being close to someone else, getting hurt by peoples’ words which they may or may not said to hurt you, not being cared, feeling unwanted somewhere, feeling not good enough for things, not being cared, ignored or avoided, misunderstood and what not. There are hundreds and thousands. What can we actually do about these ones? I almost believe that we can actually handle it also, in multiple ways depending on the person’s personality and the way of thinking they possess. These ones are like daily life pieces, so we should better learn to make peace with these.
First, let me tell you one thing, there are three kinds of people in this world according to me based on the pain management. One, who gets hurt, keep it close and smile and maybe learn lessons along. Two, they get hurt and hurt people for revenge and it makes them feel good. And the last, they get hurt, confront with the person who hurt them and sort it out. I believe the third kind is the strongest and wise ones. I would have said that we all should be like them but I won’t because I also believe that different people process different ways though it’s not pleasant for any of us as we all are connected somehow. But I would definitely say one thing, try not to be the second type, it makes this world a less worthy place to live. And if you can, if you really can talk about your pain to your friends, family and probably the best option to the person who hurt you. But there’s another thing that I consider makes a difference is that the person that hurt you matter or not. If it’s someone that you want in your life, then it’s a must to talk to them about it otherwise just don’t give a crap. They don’t matter and they don’t have the right to hurt you. Don’t take them seriously. It sounds a bit rough but yes that is how you make peace with these kind of pain. But just remember I’m not telling you to be rude or impolite, just don’t take that pain seriously. When you be nice to them, you feel good because you didn’t lose your cool. And that also helps in releasing the pain to an extent.
Last but not the least, whenever you get along a new type of pain, try to observe, try to figure out what makes it feel better and apply from then on other than thinking and stressing over it too much. And never forget that there are remedies for every kind of pain in this world. Maybe you don’t totally get relieved but you can always reach a certain point where you are comfortable with that feeling. And you want to know how I know that or in other way, why I believe so?
My answer would be, if people can live after their mothers die, they can live with or without anything. So pat your back and happy living!
Link to my original post - http://sitesreel.com/2016/05/26/pain-inside-out/