The Odyssey Offline: A Response to "I Am Begging You To Vote For Hillary"

I have been wanting to do something like this for awhile, that is, find the stupidest article on "The Odyssey" that I could find and respond to it. For those unaware, "The Odyssey" is a publication wherein all of the writers are college students and/or millennials to give them a voice (as if they don't have enough of one) in this society. I wrote for The Odyssey for a time and I wrote a handful of articles similar to the one I'm writing today. My response article for this time is "I Am Begging You To Vote For Hillary".

Obviously this election has not been everyone's favorite. We are faced with two highly disliked candidates, and it can be a tough choice what to do this November. If you are a Trump supporter, and don't plan on changing that at all - this message is not really for you. Anybody else, please listen.

Well based on the title, I already know you're a Hillary shill. And I have already decided that I am not voting for her so is your article REALLY for me?

You need to vote for Hillary.

No I don't. I actually don't need to vote for anyone. Why do I need to consent to someone ruling over me? No rational person would do that. I own me and you own you.

You simply cannot equate the negatives associated with Donald Trump with the negatives of Hillary Clinton. That is a losing battle. More importantly, you cannot equate the two candidates.

I actually can equate the two. As Ron Paul said, "From a libertarian viewpoint, there is absolutely no meaningful difference between Hillary and Trump,” he emphatically remarked. “I mean, they both support [the] military-industrial complex, the federal reserve, deficits, entitlements, invasion of our privacy.”

This is all I really need to know about them. Trump and Clinton are both authoritarians, but choosing between them is like choosing between shit and vomit flavored ice cream.

You're mad about Hillary's emails? There were several hearings, an FBI investigation, a DOJ investigation and a State Department investigation, all concluding while she shouldn't have done that, there were no laws broken.

Yet bringing it up every single day seems to be the same as a new Donald Trump controversy every few days to Republicans and Trump supporters.

But seriously, the point I would make in regards to this is that if virtually anyone else had done what Hillary did, they WOULD be in prison.

Yes, Hillary has her faults. They are very obvious and I acknowledge that. But this is much more than a personality contest. This is the future.

I understand why you might not like your two choices. Maybe you want to vote for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein. I ask that you do not.

Dude, "Hillary has her faults" is a hell of a nice way of saying she rigged the primaries in her favor, is indirectly responsible for the deaths of thousands of Muslim women in children in the Middle East, and takes money from countries that treat women like cattle and throw LGBT people off of rooftops. I would think that right there would make LGBT people and women think twice about voting for Hillary.

But in regards to third party candidates, what if I want to vote Darrell Castle or Darryl W. Perry or Mickey Mouse?

A vote for a third party brings Trump closer to the presidency with every vote. Let's be honest, although Gary Johnson has done well in this election it is not nearly enough to gain 270 electoral votes. So every state that he wins is one less for Hillary.

I know this might be hard for you to believe, but a vote for Gary Johnson/Jill Stein is a vote for Gary Johnson/Jill Stein.
And honestly to throw a monkey wrench into the general election, Gary could just win New Mexico and stop BOTH Trump and Clinton from winning.

This is not the time for a protest vote. This is the time for a strong candidate who can be an effective leader.

I disagree. Now is THE time for a protest vote. It's the bullshit like this article that has allowed the two party system to exist for so long. How well can you see your colon? You must be able to if you have your head this far up your own ass. I agree that Donald Trump is a terrible choice, but I am not so disillusioned to think Hillary Clinton would be even a little bit better.

Furthermore, do not sit some on November 8. You need to go out and vote.

I believe this was supposed to say "do not sit at home", but I don't know. Do you not proofread? How bad is your editor?

Hillary means more healthcare for more people, and less tax cuts for the wealthy. It means students can begin to live their life after college instead of being crippled by debt. It means more investments at home and in the foundation of the country. It means a Supreme Court that is progressive and believes that a changing culture should be represented in the government and laws of that culture.

Okay there is a bit to unpack here, but I will do my best.

1. It will not mean more healthcare for more people. The results of Obamacare, which she defends, have been disastrous and should be a clear indication that government shouldn't fuck with the markets. Thousands, if not millions of people have been priced out because of the financial penalty associated with not having health insurance.
2. Changing the tax rate of anyone would take serious changes to the tax code. And to change that, you would have to get that through Congress, many of whom are bought and paid for by "the evil rich people".
3. Hillary Clinton cannot wave a magic wand and make college tuition free. There is a lot more at work in that debate that I don't believe you would even begin to understand. Don't blame the government for anyone (including yourself) for going into crippling debt. It's not their fault you (or anyone else) made a shitty decision.
4. You can't stop a business from doing business where it is cheaper. Outsourcing labor has been a thing since day one.
5. Any Supreme Court nominee has to be approved by Congress. Again, Clinton can't just wave a magic wand and get her Justice approved.

The rest of the article is just a wall of text that boils down to "Screw your principles, vote for Clinton."