What I can say; you must be proud! Proud of what you doing, proud to be capable to take care for others. That is not easy, and you should not feel down about it. What is important is that you feel Free to write it down here, and share with us. That should bring the spirit to continue and keep up the positive things in life.
About the carpet, just wipe away the dust and start fresh without it.
Keep smiling every Day !! Dont forget to take care for yourself as well.
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I already feel a bit better .....after writing a little part of my " truth". I am proud most of the time but then those dragons stand in the door again ....