Manners & Mistakes of the high and mighty

In my previous article, we looked through some basics of good handshakes, and I thought it would be nice to analyze a couple of real-life examples when even the leaders didn't avoid embarrassment. 

Warsaw, 6 July 2017, Polish First Lady Agata Kornhauser-Duda refused to shake hands with Donald Trump (photo)

This news spread around the world at lightning speed, and some people even enjoyed the way the First Lady ignored POTUS. However, it was a clear violation of the order of precedence.  

In unofficial life, precedence is determined according to age, gender, and the prominence of people. Age and gender naturally receive deference, as do persons of scholastic and ecclesiastic distinction. A man is always presented to a woman, young people are presented to older people of the same gender and a single person is introduced to a group.  

In official life, protocol governs the precedence of government, ecclesiastical, and diplomatic personnel. Age and gender are not considered in this case. A young official precedes an older one if the rank of the younger one is higher. A junior female functionary is presented to a senior male functionary.    

So according to the precedence rule, the First Lady was presented to Trump (who was also a guest of honor) by her husband, and therefore she had to greet POTUS first and then switch her attention to Melania.     

Pittsburgh, 24 September 2009, Silvio Berlusconi reacts as Michelle Obama offers a handshake (photo) 

   

Silvio Berlusconi, a famous ladies’ man, uses a typical Italian gesture of appreciation. Probably he was also going to hug the First Lady, but she kept her distance with caution. Well, such body language is not acceptable in official life. Gesticulation is a vital part of communication in Italy, but when it comes to formal events it’s hardly a good example to follow.     

Washington, 17 March 2017, Donald Trump refused to shake hands with Angela Merkel at their first meeting (photo) 

    

Here we have an issue with the duties of the host. Even if the leaders met and talked before the photocall, POTUS had to respect his guest of honor and give her his hand. Though if you think what happened previously with Japan’s PM Shinzō Abe, probably a no-handshake is better than an awkward handshake situation. 

Ottawa 2016, North American Leader’s Summit, a meeting of PM Justin Trudeau, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and U.S. President Barack Obama (photo)

Apparently, the ‘Three Amigos’ messed up with the handshakes. To do a right Little Swans hand-in-hand thing you need to practice like real stars…

(photo)

See, it’s also difficult for the Russians who know the nitty-gritty of it  

(photo)

But let’s get back to the issue here.  

Havana, 21 March 2016, Obama let his wrist go limp to avoid seeming too friendly with Cuban leader Raúl Castro, (photo)

Well, in diplomacy as well as in business, it is better to avoid demonstrating a sound personal judgment. Protocol requires reacting in a measured way even if the situation is exhausting. Apparently, Castro was the first to sin with formalities, and if it was a joke, it died in the face of incomprehension. 

It turns out that the high and mighty can also make mistakes, so why don’t we learn from them and get wiser?