I think much of this is a natural by-product of a "product based" educational system. We organize our desired goals to be reached per grade level and per course (usually specific content knowledge and skills), then create tests to assess that knowledge, then design curriculum and train teachers to teach to the test. Mainstream education is rarely investigatory, community based, or process oriented. As you say that you never learned "how to learn" - it is probably because teachers were so focused on delivering content to meet their objectives, they neglected to first understand where the class - and each individual student! - was in their own learning process. I don't fault the teachers for this, as it takes great strength and creativity to work within the system while working against its values.
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The teachers are products of the system so their only fault is not being able to break free. Like you said, those that do must work against the rules. I don't think most teachers have the chance even if they did understand to teach individuals completely, that is why I think that they should teach to the point the children can teach themselves. I don't think the lessons ever need stop either.
My father was a teacher his entire life from 16 to 81 this year and still going. If anyone went to a school he taught at, they know him. He taught life within the bounds of the system allocated and was appreciated greatly for it. I am glad I never had him as a teacher though my brothers did.