Sitting with my daughter in my arms, watching her feed, I realize how lucky I am.
I have my health, my strength, I can carry and nourish her.
This amazing being who has been with me for 9 months earthside has already taught me so much.
After the birth of my 2nd daughter, I thought I understood babies and their needs pretty well. I felt I was somewhat qualified to offer advice to others. I never felt like I knew it all, and besides who wants to know it all anyway.
But still I felt I had some knowledge and I was happy to share it with others. I loved being a mother and had also loved being pregnant, parenting is challenging at times and that is why it is so important to support other parents and in turn have their support. At one point in Ireland I had been involved in a Anarchy parenting group. But that story is for another time.
Into my life came my third daughter. I had an unassisted lotus birth and my partner came in time to catch her. After she was with us for a few weeks, and as she was becoming more aware of her surroundings she would begin to cry and get upset at night, just before going down to sleep with us for the night. Of course no mother wants to hear her baby cry and I would find it very distressing that nothing I did could settle her.
I was drinking lots of fennel tea, then anise in case it was trapped wind. I carried her in a way that is meant to help with indigestion. I tried everything. I started to question everything I was doing. I was sure I was meeting her needs, she is breastfed, I carry her most of the time. I then started to look at my diet, maybe something I was eating was affecting her.
After a few very tiring nights of her being upset for what seem like ages but in reality was not very long, I decided to just hold her and let her cry. I did not try and tell her to stop or interfere, I just let her cry and get whatever it was she was trying to get out come out. And she cried, but not for so long and it was not intense either, I had her in my arms the whole time, I just stopped trying to suppress her crying.
I suddenly realized that she needed to to do this, to have this cry. This was her way of letting out everything from the day, before she went to sleep. And because of our conditioning into believeing that if a baby cries it is because their needs are not being met we instinctively think we are the ones to meet those needs. But in fact I was inhibiting this release. After I realized and accepted this she would have a small cry sometimes before going to bed.
Now that she is older she does not cry, but instead she gets very vocal and active before going to bed for the night. She literally wants to be wrestled before sleeping, this is how she gets all her power and emotions released. And she has power and such force. Her strength is there for all to see. If she wants something she lets you know. We may think we know something but no two things or beings are ever the same.
Imagine source for 1st image: https://nytimessportsbookslist.com
our children teach us to be better people day by day, to know that there is someone who depends on us but in turn we of them, the children are incredible and the reason for the happiness of homes
very nicely said @psicmarynes thank you for dropping by x
Such a healthy way of raising a child, I could not agree more. Crying is our way of releasing deeper emotions But for a child who can not communicate verbally, I imagine that crying covers various forms of communication, just we can't understand there language(a bit like trying to translate animal noises, it sounds random to us, but to them it has subtle complexities and various meanings). Great post. Happily re-steemed.
Thanks @article61, it's so true that crying is a babies main way of communication, yet some people forget that and really over react sometimes.
We're all guilty of that. They don't come with a handbook but if you see your mistakes as a positive then that should create balance. Hey just going off topic for a mo. It's my daughters birthday today!! Have a look at my birthday article when you get a mo, you will love the vids. #mini-me
you know what I was just doing that as you wrote this, how about that, and they are great, she is beautiful x
Lol, I'm pulling you from pillar to post with these sporadic comments ;) x
wonderful, I'm not a mother yet but I'm feeling a bit broody hehe so I'm on the lookout for anything about motherhood, babies and parenting.. you are a brave soul, to acknowledge your learnings alongside your baby, it's beautiful to witness.. and precious advice for mothers as well.. thank you!!
thank you @bristena94, some of my best learning has been from my children, they really teach us so much x
I'm sure they do, and I'm looking forward to learning from mine! when they want to come through, for sure. no rush all in good time :)
Ah yes, they teach us so much about ourselves that we do not know and help us develop many skills such as patience and empathy. I could have written this post, all of mine come to life right before bed too :)
I used to think I knew it all too but then I realised that each child is so different that the only way I can parent is through instinct and lots of patience :) Some days are easier than others but I enjoy the challenges it brings.
Thanks @charlie97, thank you for your comment. They are so different, how they learn, play and express themselves. I'm learning all the time x
OH, sweet mama, I love this one. It's such a good teaching to be free to just express our emotions and let out anything holding us back or clogging us up.
My number three was also my game changer. Especially because I had 10 years between the second and third, I was pretty sure I had this Parenting thing wired. My older two kids are quite different from each other but both are really amazingly beautiful people, and they were 10 and 13 at the time of Solomon's birth. Well, I got humbled pretty quickly. He is a firecracker! He is powerful and vibrant and such a lover and also quick to temper and super duper testosteroned. I have learned a whole new set of skills. He also periodically just needs to scream. He's 5, so it's way less frequent, but he periodically gets overfilled. Sometimes I hold him. Other times I let him run off and manage it on his own. In between we talk about other ways to move that energy that will feel less stressful.
wow no. 3 as well, definitely can identify her as a fire cracker too. Such strength she has, she is literally bursting with emotions sometimes. I love watching her blossom in front of me. Oh the joys of motherhood xx
No doubt. It's full time shit for real.
I think we all want to have a cry sometimes and not have anyone try to fix it just to hold us as we let it all out! Life isn't always about fixing. She's a wise old soul so she is.
Very true. She is such a wise soul, thank you @shivvi x
Wonderful post, thank you for sharing! I have told my girls that they are No One and Everyone, because no one is perfect and everyone is different, which applies to mothers too! 😉 Enjoy your motherhood X
Great advice @emeraldearth, I really hate how much we are pushed to be perfect. It puts so much pressure on us and our children. Thank you, I do love being a mother x
Babies are such amazing teachers and with each passing day, my belief in this strengthens. My baby had a similar need too when he was an infant and honestly when I didn't suppress his cries, he used to stop crying soon enough. My son has taught me a lot too and one of those things is that he is slowly learning to express himself through more mature means so if he cries when he does not understand anything, it is normal. Loved this post as always.
Thank you @sharoonyasir for all the your lovely feedback you give me. We really do need to be patient and allow ourselves to be led sometimes by our children x
Yes definitely :)