Unschooling 101 Part 1: How kids learn

in #ecotrain7 years ago

I've been promising a post on the basics of unschooling. As I started to map it out, I realized it's going to be several posts. I know I have written about it before, but it's been a while, and I hope those of you who've been around will learn something new while I share with my friends who've just joined the party.

The whole point of unschooling is to completely deconstruct what is happening in modern education. It seeks to question the very premise of the education system and indeed the entire cultural understanding of how children learn. I've been digging into this topic for twenty years now. I've learned by reading. I've learned by watching. And of course I've learned by totally screwing up.

To me the core idea that must be questioned is that of teaching. It's in our nature to think we are really clever, and we are. I know I'm certainly quite clever. We want to pass that on, and we are just certain that our kids need us, or some other qualified individual, to teach them. And of course they do need people to show them how things work and answer questions, but they don't really need to be taught. That may sound presumptuous or simply ridiculous, but stay with me.

They don't need to be taught because they are born with an absolutely unquenchable thirst for learning. They start trying to hold that tiny little head up the day after they're born. They've hardly recovered from what we can only imagine is an absolutely insanely bizarre and stressful journey. Apparently the first breath is excruciatingly painful. And almost immediately they start learning. You couldn't stop that drive to learn if you wanted to.

I want to say I understand some environments are more conducive to learning than others, and that drive - even that early on - can certainly be muffled, but it takes quite a while and a lot of effort to totally obliterate it. The fact that some kids are burned out and say they hate learning by 7 or 8 is a testament to the absolutely disastrous state of the modern educational system because the truth is, if you don't kill that drive, it remains very strong all through life. Hopefully, one day we will realize the importance of a devoted person who is closely related to each child being compensated to stay with that child full time for at least several years. Imagine the brilliance that would be seen in our world if each child had a truly loving and nurturing environment for at least 3-5 years. Anyway. I digress.

Children don't need to be taught because they want to learn!

They want to learn things that are hard and things that are easy. They are willing to learn things they don't like at all in order to get to a bigger goal. Yes, I'm sure.

The funny thing about how children learn is that psychologists are really clear. The research is really clear. And yet modern education digs in their heels in this undying loyalty to the exact opposite of what works. More tests, more hours, more inside, less play, more sit still and be quiet, less questions, more do what you're told. It's almost like they have an entirely different goal than education. Children need to play, explore, question, figure things out. In the process of gaining deeper and deeper levels of understanding about how all this works, I realized the absolute freaking brilliance of the scientific method. It's actually an incredibly accurate description of how we all learn.


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The modern education system is stuck in a perpetual loop of step two. If they do go through all the steps, it's rarely the questions of the children. When anyone learns anything by following all of these steps, it is seared in their brain. That's real learning. They must experiment. They must have time to observe. They must question. They must make their own guesses. They must fail. They must try again and again. Play is often this process over and over and over again. Play is how every animal on the planet learns how to "adult." Humans are no different. The dismissal of unstructured play as pointless or even harmful is actually incredibly destructive to the survival of our species. It is the base of all learning.

There's a lot of reading in this realm. I highly recommend anything from Peter Gray. There have been a number of articles in Psychology Today by him and others about play, resilience, and how children learn. There have also been a lot of good articles in Yes! Magazine. The Sudbury Valley School has an extensive library on their website as well as a ton of essays and articles written by their brilliant staff on play, how children learn, and the state of the modern education system. Peter Gray's son is a graduate of, and staff member at, Sudbury Valley.

In future parts of the unschooling series, I will talk in depth about freedom, trust, responsibility, space, and exposure. I hope you will share your thoughts. I honestly believe that changing the lives of children is the most revolutionary thing we can do. There is no work that is more important, and there is nothing that will change the world faster and more permanently than changing how children are raised. For that reason, my mission in this world is to assist parents through the paradigm shift.

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Just watched a video by some German neurologist, or brain researcher as they call him, and he said "learning needs to be meaningful, needs to go under the skin and the only emotional state where this happens is that of rapture, or enthusiasm. And children, quite naturally, have this state about 20 to 50 times a day and then a watering can pours some fertilizer into their brain and real learning, experience and retention takes place, this is natural learning. Teaching by reward and punishment makes children become addicted to reward or punishment and does not allow for this deeper kind of learning out of their own efforts."

This absolutely thrills me and totally ties in with the importance of play - for kids and adults. In that state of enthusiasm, we learn and grow. Yummalicious stuff, @likedeeler. Thanks for sharing.

Very interesting. Thank you. I hated school, not because I wasn't intelligent (I have a Masters and am also a qualified accountant (which is also equivalent to a Masters), but because the teachers didn't inspire me, and didn't teach me what I wanted to learn. Furthermore, I didn't like some of the other kids, and found them hard to relate to. Maybe they were uninspired, too?

What I did was to stick my head in books on the topics I wanted to learn about, and ask lots of questions. Consequently, I consider my general knowledge is much greater than that of many other people, and especially of younger people (do they teach them anything in school nowadays?).

The other thing I feel is that I really started to appreciate and benefit from education when I was in my thirties and older. My view is that children are not really mature enough to get the most out of what they are taught. Quite what that says we need to do about it, I don't quite know.

That's the thing. When kids learn what they are interested in, they retain it. They need time to observe and explore and ask questions about things they are interested in. I think most of school now is preparing for the 900 standardized tests.
Honestly, I think kids would appreciate and benefit from it if they were choosing what they were learning. I was a staff at a Sudbury school for a while, and that was my experience, and it's also my experience with my younger two that are now unschooling. When they're not pushed to learn something they have no interest in, they continue to be curious and interested in discovery.
Thanks for stopping by with a thoughtful comment. Very appreciated.

YES!! Resteeming this to educate all the homeschool haters. I am a teacher myself but choose to homeschool my own children. Keep writing and thank you for composing such a well-written article about something I am so passionate about!

It's so important to keep sharing accurate information. I feel like it's much easier for me now that I have two that are basically adults. I've got proof in the pudding, and that really makes the argument much stronger. I'm really glad you liked the article, and I hope it quiets the haters for at least a minute.

Thank you for sharing your perspective.

I agree that we never stop wanting to learn. One “problem” with unschooling can be the outside pressure of society for the child to know certain things by a certain age. I’d appreciate reading a perspective on that.

Oh yes. I've definitely battled this demon. My 16 yo daughter (the one whose art I frequently share) didn't learn to read until 9. It was pretty much an international crisis - especially with my parents. She just wasn't ready. She now reads at college level. I will definitely talk more about this in a future post.

I look forward to reading it.

I'll let you know when it's ready.

yes yes yes to all of the above, I love to read your posts about learning, play and trusting your children. Looking forward to reading more. much love xxx

I'm so glad you enjoy these. Sometimes I wonder if I write about it too much. Glad it isn't overdone yet!

Nice to read something about unschooling! Some days, that's how our homeschooling is done. Ha! We follow the Charlotte Mason method, which a lot of people believe IS unschooling, or is super close to it. Mostly it focuses on reading literature to gain knowledge, quality living books. But not exactly the same as unschooling. Modern education does definitely put kids in a box and teach to the test. Great post!

Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I've never heard of Charlotte Mason. My kids have always naturally enjoyed literature, though they both have slightly different taste than I do. Good taste still, just different. I think kids who grow up in reading families almost always become readers. At least I hope so. I have two more coming through that haven't learned to read yet.

My kids are not big readers yet. Our curriculum is basically all reading. Ha. It will be interesting as I start turning books over to them soon. Yikes...

I bet they'll pick it up. They always figure it out when they need it for something. I knew several boys that learned to read so they could read the cut scenes and instructions for their video games. My son learned because I told him I wouldn't read comic books to him because I don't like the broken up style of comics. There's lots of really good ones, but I just don't like the whole disjointed feel of them. Anyway. I bet they'll pick it up quickly.

I have a fair number of friends who were unschooled, and sometimes I wish I hd been able to take that path as well. I graduated from the k-12 system, but the pressure and lack of accommodation of my learning difficulties and learning style contributed to a suicidal depression in my first couple years of high school. I love learning, and now I love history, and I recognize that the way I learnt history in high school turned me off of it for years, which is so sad.

It sort of shocks me that there isn't more effort to change the school system with the current levels of depression and suicide. It's really clear to me that it's correlated to the pressure on kids. I've always thought the modern school system honestly tries really hard to destroy the love of learning. Some kids come out still loving it, but it's rare, and most of us have to find our way back.

I definitely had to find my way out and then back. I love learning, but it's only recently that I've connected what I love to learn with my life path. It took eight years to get my bachelor's degree because the first 3-4 years I was pursuing what I thought I should learn and do, instead of what connected to my passion and what made me happy. Those early years were far harder than the latter half!

So very true. I had the very same issue. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but beyond that I'm still not sure. Of course it occupies a lot of my time, and I feel it's very important to put a lot of effort into, so maybe in the future there will be something else, but for now mom is plenty. I floundered through my bachelor's though because I was just doing what I thought people wanted me to do. It was pretty miserable really.

I did nursing prerequisites, then marketing, then communication, because I fel they would make respectable and lucrative careers. I didn't have a passion for any of them, though, and it wasn't until I got into Black Studies and then started taking history classes that I figured out what I really wanted to do. The academic job market is scary, but I know that I can't just do something because it's expected of me or because it's popular. Without real emotional investment and passion, I'll end up miserable and burned out. So I think it's best to follow your own truth. :)

Oh, I so agree. I think the best thing about unschooling is giving kids time and space to figure out what their passion is and really devote time to it while they still have so much free time and don't have to pay bills.

Haha, yeah! Being an adult is such a time-suck—who knew? ;)

Good summary- I look forward to more investigation into the details in the future.

I was homeschooled '83-'00. By the age of 13 I was mostly self-taught and I am still excited to learn! I am finding that marching to the beat of my own drummer is not an easy path. Those who were conventionally educated don't know what to do with oddballs, so they often give us a hard time. So I am trying to adapt to social conventions a little without losing myself. It is absolutely important to be part of communities dedicated to learning, spiritual transformation, personal and professional development, dreaming together and sharing solutions and thoughts in a context of mutusl respect. A person can just shrivel up without that!

Have you read Ivan Illich? I found him in college. He talked about decentralization of all systems. In "De-schooling Society" he proposes that education be de-centralized, de-hierarchified (i just made that up), de-institutionalized FIRST in order to create a different world. The current model is used to control people as they are being formed so that they will be ready to participate in systems of control for the rest of their lives. If we want our children to become free adult humans, we must treat them as such now.

That's really wonderful your parents let you lead the way with your own education. It's really not easy to be different. I can definitely identify with that. Sometimes it feels really lonely and isolating. I've been thirsting for more community for quite some time now, and I have found an absolute treasure trove here on Steemit. So many like minded, supportive, loving, brilliant people. It's been a tremendous blessing.
I haven't read that, but it sounds right up my alley. I absolutely and totally agree that we have to start the change with children. I think raising kids is the most important and revolutionary work we can do right now. I also think treating children respectfully is one of our biggest issues. And I like your new word. It's a good one. Thanks for stopping by with a thoughtful comment.

Thank you so much for sharing all your experiences, i am looking forward to the next part!

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I'll let you know when the next one is ready.

Nice! The current educational system is absolutely screwing kids up...

But I also think parents do. What's your take on early specialization of kids? In Slovakia where I live, it's common you put a kid to do some hobby at the age of 8 and they usually continue doing it for 10 years till the usually just stop. While being semi-pro in the particular thing....I just think it's a stupid attitude since after several years, brain doesn't really get any new inputs and that hobby training/practice becomes just a drill....both physical and mental....

That's why I'd like to create kind of free-time afternoon center for kids where we'd do programming, martial arts and languages. Weird combination, I know...but I believe kids would get many more inputs which makes their brain much more variable and ready for more situations in life....I don't want my kids to be ice-hockey champions so why should they play ice-hockey 6 times a week? When they can do it just 2 times and choose other 2 activiities....Hope you get my point..I think being a blue belt in several areas is better than black belt in one area...at least if you're a kid, of course we need to specialize once we're adults..

Pls lemme know what u think of my plan to build such project :) thx!

OH I agree. Parents are definitely playing a huge part in this. In fact it's often pressure from parents that is shaping the school system. My opinion is always that children should be doing what they enjoy. If they like doing the same thing six days a week, more power to them, but I would think that most kids would definitely prefer variety. I would imagine that if you can get parents on board, kids will definitely be interested in your center. My kids always loved trying new things.