'Mum,' my boy says to me 'I don't think you'll ever grow up'. Nope, not likely. Do you know there's a word for this? It's neotony. It's really the extension of juvenile qualities into adulthood, physiologically. It's not a physiological retention of youth that's important in this interpretation of the word, but more that youthful joy where, as Wordsworth suggests, the child is kept within the adult.
The Child is the Father of Man: Wordsworth
My Heart Leaps Up When I Behold
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
Neotony has been etymologically attributed to this poem, and I like this interpretation of it - not a physical feature, but an ability to find that childlike joy in things, that passion for what you do. And it helps us be adaptable, because we're the most neotonic of all the creatures and thus able to adapt to our surroundings through curious play.
Curiosity in play helps us problem solve. There is a link, for example, between playing with your hands early in life and problem solving – rolling snowballs, drawing, juggling, bouncing balls. Better problem solvers, therefore, were better players. It's born from curiosity and exploration. For example, kids and animals both learn a lot from rough and tumble play - it helps us emotionally regulate and learn cognitive, emotional and physical skills. Consider being in a new environment or situation and how you creatively explore it to solve the problems of being in this new situation. What if I do it this way? What if I approach it with this strategy?
Play makes kids - and us - more flexible, smarter, and creative - Image Source
Whilst reading a bit about play, I discovered an experiment that I found desperately sad, and not just because it was done on mice, but because of all those kids who have never had a chance to play because of abuse or taking on responsibilities too early in their life that stopped them playing. Stuart Brown in his TED talk explains:
If you take rats, who are hardwired to play at a certain period of their juvenile years and you suppress play -- they squeak, they wrestle, they pin each other, that's part of their play. If you stop that behavior on one group that you're experimenting with, and you allow it in another group that you're experimenting with, and then you present those rats with a cat odor-saturated collar, they're hardwired to flee and hide. Pretty smart -- they don't want to get killed by a cat. So what happens? They both hide out. The non-players never come out -- they die. The players slowly explore the environment, and begin again to test things out. That says to me, at least in rats -- and I think they have the same neurotransmitters that we do and a similar cortical architecture -- that play may be pretty important for our survival.
Play as a survival mechanism really piqued my interest. It's not just frivolity - it helps us negotiate and map our worlds, and helps us out when we're in trouble. In our lives, we will suffer lots of cat odour types of problems - rejection, relationship break-ups, problems at work and so on - but if we've had experience with play, this experiment suggests we're much more likely to be able to emerge from our dark holes. The opposite of play, Brown reminds us, is not work, it's depression. The implications of this for mental health are really mind boggling, because as adults, we often have forgotten how to play - what does this do to our brains?
Play can be dancing, ceremony, song and dance - how much do we enjoy gatherings where we get a chance to play? And how might these experiences increase feelings of joy and help us learn about the world, each other, and our selves?
Play, therefore, allows for neuro-plasticity. As we find new ways to 'wire and fire' our neurons together through play, we find new ways to approach problems and to learn new ways that help us thrive. Games and puzzles - essentially play - have been used by science to prove that the brain is not fixed from youth as they thought - it can relearn. There has been incredible therapies undertaken on people with severe brain injuries that show this to be the case, and some of these cases have been so severe that ordinary functions such as memory have been supposedly lost. This is such a wonderful advancement in the way that we think about the brain, and something I use in education all the time - the more we 'play' with ideas and ways of doing things, the more likely we are to learn and retain the information we're given. We get rid of 'I can't' and adopt a 'growth mindset', knowing we can re-map our brains even if we've been told we're not very good at something (although I'm sure I'll never learn how to juggle)
Whilst my boy might have that affectionate criticism of his crazy Mum when he says I'm not ever going to grow up, I try to advise him that play is important for life. We're hardwired to play through our entire lifetimes - to create, to watch movies, to dance, to go to festivals, play sport. We need things to look forward to - a trip overseas, a project in the garden or the shed (hence J. playing with Landrovers, a passion play for him that stems from play with machines as as child where he was lost in a state of flow that brought him joy), a problem to be solved. Play takes on all kinds of forms, but it's the benefits rather than what it looks like that is so important.
Play, therefore, not only helps us adapt and be flexible, it can:
- help us relieve stress
- help us connect to others
- help us re-wire our brains to learn new things
- help us enrich our lives by providing balance and interest to otherwise stressful or boring adult routines
- help us bond to others (humour, for example, is a form of play we find attractive in the opposite sex)
Brown showed this in his TED Talk. The polar bear isn't eating the dog - he is PLAYING WITH IT. How cool is that? The animals are learning entirely new ways of socialising and behaving that wouldn't have been achieved if they hadn't been in a state of exploratory play.
Play can determine our careers and how we live our lives. Think of the times when you felt that joy from play when you were a kid. How does that seep still into your adult life? Or, perhaps, if you're unhappy at a job - what's the job you really want to do, that brings you that joy? Mine would be writing (no suprise there) or creating something, a garden or a website or a mosaic mural - those things are creative, imaginative play for me and bring joy into my life. I wrote as a kid and was very creative - this is coming back to me now as I realise the value of this kind of play in my life.
I believe forms of 'play' make my relationship with J. infinitely more successful. We love solving problems through doing projects together - without a project, we get a bit bored. We love to explore the world, discover new things, figure out stuff. Humour and playfulness together is often the glue that binds us and I find it remarkable that after 15 years we still love each others company and can make each other laugh, or drop everything and put on vinyl and dance around the loungeroom like we did when we were younger.
I find a lot of joyful play in surfing and yoga - they enable me to get into a flow state, and help me explore my boundaries and capabilities that I can then bring off the mat into more creative and resilient approaches to my life.
Play is one of the reasons that I cut back my work hours, indirectly. I was so depressed and stressed that I had no time to do the things that brought me joy - surfing, yoga, gardening, writing, creating. My brain wasn't handling that very well at all!
Since I've created more space in my life for play, I've had a great deal more joy in my life too, and I intend to keep it that way. Nope, I'm not going to 'grow up', son, I'm gonna fight to keep that childlike joy and sense of play in my life, even if it's just to bug you.
What 'play' brings you joy?
Does 'play' make you more flexible and adaptable?
Is play just for kids, or should we make sure we keep 'playing' as adults?
This piece was a response to the @ecotrain question of the week, which asked about the importance of play and how play comes into our lives. Anyone on the blockchain can explore this question - just use the tag #ecotrain so we can find each other's responses. You'll find some other great stuff under this tag too - go check it out! And thanks @eco-alex for posing these brain stretching questions!
https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmU9f4FK9j91cnUGYk9hnMXuYdAFcnF6ekkpXZ5DfiByfG
I see so many of my own thoughts, meditations (and feelings) reflected back to me here.
This is among the best. It really grabs me and tells me to ¨look again¨.
I want to comment before re- reading it because my immediate expressions can get muddled by the time I get to the end but this highlights what I miss the most; what was set aside before all the depression and anxiety started interfering in my life. (yes, that even includes posting on steemit- though I persevere to to break through and actually finish one that I start.)
It is music and dance. Just free form movement and interaction. I allowed expectations to ¨grow up¨ to blot out who I am. Like Edgar Allen Poe´s awful story of a man being sealed alive in his own tomb, brick by brick.
I allowed that to happen. Almost.
Thanks for the inspiration to persevere.
Oh, that Poe reference encapsulates that feeling of depression. I hear you so loudly. There's a few of us that write about depression and mental health on the blockchain, so you aren't alone. If you're interested, check out @naturalmedicine (you'll see the link on my banner underneath the post) and in the archives in Discord you'll archives that have some good posts about anxiety and depression. I find it remarkable that play can also help with this - not something I've considered before putting it into words, but it makes sense, doesn't it? Music and dance and free form expression can be beautiful for that - remapping our neural pathways too, helping us explore outside of our cave. I get this in yoga too, the body becomes an expression of how I'm feeling. Life is complicated, no?
I never thought something that deep and beautiful could be written about playing. I now have brand new perspective.
Oh, man, that's a huge compliment!!! I wasn't sure it came together in the cohesive way I wanted it too, but I'm a bit short on time. thanks for your your comment! So appreciated! I do too, now I've thought about it and read a bit about it!
This is a REALLY cool post! I am not as playful as I'd like to be, but still more playful than many people I know. Gonna resteem this one!
Thanks for the resteem!! What a lovely suprise. You are welcome!!!
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I notice you haven't been writing much. Is everything okay?
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I have limited energy and this time of year is particularly busy. I've been so tired I've not been getting up at my usual 4AM time, which is when I would write. Things will slow down in the next month and I hope to post all my late doings over the winter. I have hundreds of photos I've taken, for posts. Some time in the future you will see them.
Will look forward to it. How's your hubby going???
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He's getting around as well as can be expected. We still have helpers come in, had one here today helping cut branches along the driveway and splitting wood. My husband just keeps going, there's no slowing him down for healing or resting. So I leave him alone for the most part. I figure his body will stop him, if I can't...
Ah, they say that about old farmers don't they - it's when they stop that they really fall apart!!!
@riverflows yes, so true!! resteemed this post.
Was just thinking once we lose that mentality of play, we get all uptight and anxious, which actually makes us perform worse.
Needa remember to see Steemit as play! 🙃
Steemit IS play for sure!!! And it is how we percieve it too. My play might be someone elses torture! And thanks for the resteem.. really appreciated!!
Wow an amazing post! So true working as an occupational therapist this resonate so true and is the source of my work. Lots would not agree but its my job to change that. Unfortunately in todays society we stop kids playing and get the into the adult life as soon as possibly which cause the problems in todays society. A lot to be said about the way we treat our kids and its not good!
I love having fires, drumming, playing my didgeridoo simply anything thats fun letting out the inner child as often as possible 💯🐒
I agree. Plus screen time!! I was fascinated by fact problem solvers had a history of doing things with their hands. Yet how much hand stuff is going on holding screens? What if kids grow up and can't solve problems? ... more control of masses, more mental health issues... another angle of looking at it that I haven't thought of before I started looking into play.
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This is so true and worrying a the same time. Working in mental health every day I see the effect of lack of childhood, people who have missed out on that important aspect of play. Not having my own kids, my ex had kids thoughI takes this ethos into bringing up kids when I do. Time off the computer and about in nature playing is so important. Likewise with my patients I try and get the element of fun in too but reading this I think I need to devise away to do it better. Definitely something to think about and develop for me! 💯🐒
I think we need to be mindful about our life choices all the time and agree.for sure we need to consciously make time for play. Like now.. putting Steemit down and going for a surf!!
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Sure thing not surfed in ages don't live near the sea now. But yes i put Steemit down and play with my kitten and had a dam nice screen free few hours. hope it was a good surf 💯🐒
I really like what you have written here. At the tender of age of twelve, I told my Mother that I did not want to get any older. I liked that I was old enough to understand certain things, but I still had the time and the ability to play and be a kid if I wanted to. I lost that sense of 'play' somewhere along the line. Over the past few years, I am bringing that wonder and joy over the simple things back into my life. Your post completely validates that decision. Play on!
This is so interesting and well written - I enjoyed reading every word.
Play really is so important in a relationship as are individual pursuits of play. I think we've found a nice balance. My husband is making a computer game for us where we get points and level up for various fitness activities that we do - it feeds his need for geek play and mine for fitness and marries them togehter. It's quite neat.
omg i love this.. resteemed! i love all of the valuable research you put together. amazing. that study about the mice also break my heart... but also reminded me of soooo many older people i know who have done that dying thing... it's a reminder to keep our minds plasticy and young at heart... xo
What if:
The left and right brain theory is no longer 100% valid, but it makes my question a bit less complicated.
What if the left (mathematical, and ordered) part of the brain switches off.
The things you used to know are no longer available when you need them.
You know that you know something but you cant remember any of it.
Math formulas are at the tip of the tongue, but nowhere to be found. Simple things that where once very ordered in the mind are just not there anymore. but years later you still know that you know those things.
When someone asks a question then the mind goed Ooooh thats simple, just use...
erhm... there was this formula... what was it again.... and you just can't get there anymore.
Yet the creative part of the brain manages to fill the void. With all kind of weird side effects. And people just have a hard time to figure out what you are doing.
Specially leftbrainers tend to be a problem sometimes, when they start to do 'cliche thinking' and put you in a corner without even questioning themselves. That aside, but this shows the social problem / side effects that you have to deal with when the so called 'left brain' has taken off and is nowhere to be found, not all of it, but a very significant part is just not available anymore.
Are there ways to get access to that area again?
I often wonder if the knowledge is really lost, or if it still exists.
As you know that you know the answer, but you can't access the answer. Is the answer really 'damaged' or lost... Or can it still be in tact, but just needs a new neural path TO that area of the brain?
:-D yes i have many more questions like this