Some good thoughts here @donovan313; above all "fear is the mindkiller" as science-fiction author Frank Herbert wrote, almost 50 years ago.
As for stream-of-consciousness writing, it is not only very healing but often the most authentic we can be, and I commend you for that. Keep at it!
Bright Blessings!
It was kind of funny, I was just writing my thoughts down and I did not know how to format a "traditional" article out of it, so I left my thoughts there and posted it. It is extremely relieving to put your thoughts on "paper' (online). Thank you for your kind words and blessings.