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When ya poke a gigantic starving bear with a stick. What else would we expect. :)

lol, ouch.

Mid 2018:

Person: How'd you make all that money?
Guy: I use Monero.
Person: That criminal drug terrrorist tax-evasion money? I'm calling the cops.

  • Guy gets audited, they find his wallet, arrest him for 5-10 years -

Why does this seem like a realistic outcome and the #1 block to mainstream adoption?

There's no way to find a Monero wallet in the blockchain even if you're the owner (As far as I'm aware). Unless you've written down your key somewhere and they find it.