"Earl the car is gone. They took it."
This is what I heard when I woke up this morning. My wife was heading out to go to work. That plan was canceled. I don't even want to talk about what lead to this but as I told her and as I'll say again, It's my fault.
Then I started to think about all the decisions in my life that has lead me to this particular point in life. It all centers around my desire to do meaningful work and work that I actually enjoy.
Well I am usually not the "What if" "Coulda" "Shoulda" "Woulda" type of person. But out of all the things in my life that has happened I am willing to give this moment an exception because I have been on the brink of suicide just thinking about it in the past. This is not something to just brisk over. I had been molded to live a certain lifestyle just as many others are for 22 years until I came to my "Ikigai" moment. As a matter of fact it's really more recently that I've gotten a sense of my Ikigai. All those years of being indoctrinated. Go to college. Get a job. Have a career. Retire. That is exactly what I had been on the path to do for 22 years of my life.
Don't drink the indoctrination juice
I am now 24 and I am not committing myself to be indoctrinated any longer. I also have my wife and my little girl. My little girl will have many interests over the course of here life and I will do everything in my power to make sure she develops the skills in the areas she is interested in. I have to allow her to flourish and truly be herself. My upbringing taught me alot and this is why I am going to use my experiences to show her how to embrace herself and who she is. I am taking control even though I know I can't control alot of what happens in life. Should I crush my daughter's dreams like mine were crushed so many times?
Would I have been in the situation to get my car repossessed if I had been encouraged to explore my interests at the age of 14 or 15?
What would I be doing if I had raged against the machine at an earlier age and chose my own path instead of waiting so long?
Would I have had the money to keep up with those car payments?
Would my health have declined so much to the point of being unrecognizable by my own wife if I had followed my own energy?
Go beast mode and let nothing stop me from doing what I was put on this Earth to do. Yes it's personal and I have this chip on my shoulder that I will constructively use as fuel. This is just what I needed to push my self to the next level. I feel sorry for whatever or whoever is trying to stop me from being HumanEarl. I mean no harm, I'm just passionate.
The rage begins and the fire rises!
▶️ DTube
▶️ IPFS
Oh @humanearl my friend... don't crush her dreams and don't should on yourself.
The "system" is toxic, designed only to make us compliant sheep in a machine designed to benefit the few at the top of the pyramid. It exploits everyone. When you're struggling at the bottom, your old wreck is repo'd, when you're the corporate manager your new Mercedes is repo'd. It's still the same picture.
YOU have the courage to break free of those chains... and that's a large part of what matters most. In fact, it's the key... you've looked behind the curtain, seen what's there and rejected it.
"The car is gone" sucks. Next time, you power down a bit, buy a car with CASH that can't be taken back and thumb your nose at the system that wants to exploit people with finance charges, interest and fees.
This, too, shall pass.
In the meantime, teach your little angel that she can be ANYthing she wants to be.
I'm going to do my best not to limit her abilities.
We are all being pimped is how I like to put it.
Thanks for your post!
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I really like this post. It so real and human and raw. Its refreshing to hear someone taking responsibility for their own path. We all have been there and done the shift he blame to someone else thing, it not until we accept responsibility for our own life and choices that we find that we had the control all the time. Kudos to you sir for finding this truth at the early age of 24! And also for discovering Steemit and this wonderful supportive community. I wish you the very best for the future. You have a new follower! Salud from sunny Cancun 😉
@donnaincancun This means alot to me. So thank you for being here to support. What I hope to continue to do is to be raw and real with people. I feel like we have enough fakeness in society. People need to embrace themselves and learn to be authentic. Hopefully I can inspire people to do so.
Salud!
your right on that...plus its neat
It's not too late. I, too, have been a part of a family that is accustomed to that system. Most of asian families are like that. sadly, in all of my siblings, I was the only one who woke up and acted even if it means rebelling, just to do what I really love to do. Don't take that away from your daugther and yourself. It's not too late for everything. Go forth in life head on!
Good for you! I know it's not easy and I'm pretty sure you got a lot of criticism for it
I think your life experience will make you an excellent parent seeing how you’ve been through the ups and down. A lot of parents put immense stress on their children with their expectations and try to mold them in ways that don’t necessarily fit. I’m sure your daughter will succeed in many of her interests! All the best
I want to give her room to flourish and grow and I don't want to rush her growth either. It may take time but I want her to know that she has my support. Thanks for the encouragement.
Never crush your baby girl dreams my friend...i`m in close situation like yours and all i can tell you...never give up...ppl like us make this world go round...not others! Have faith in yourself and your path no matter what! Goodluck, God help us all!
I really appreciate it and I will keep encouraging my girl as she gets older .
You are a great human being and I wish all your and your girls dream come true. Steem all the way.
Comments like these make my day. I appreciate it alot. Thanks for being here and contributing.
Emotional stress, stress of work, upturn and uptake of the relationship sometimes distracts the mind. We lost ourselves then we are The power to control yourself also seems to be running out.
It is said that many of the physical diseases are due to mental illness. If the mind is distracted then all of the activities are hampered. If you can not keep yourself under control, then the dominant status also goes out of reach. And what is not in control is more difficult to control. So self-control is important. Self-control is a great tool to make yourself successful.
Meditation is a very useful thing to keep your mind under control. When negative thoughts come to mind, mental stability decreases. Such thinking weakens the mental strength. Regular meditation habits help to calm the mind and keep it strong.
I recently tried meditating. I must say it does make a world of difference.
If you really want to control the mind, then take the mind away from the negative thoughts. Get out of the environment of being depressed. If something is too much of a problem or is painful, skip it for a while. Pay attention to any other work.
Oh yes, I agree with you that we must build our lives as we want right now without looking back to the past. Children are always beautiful and we do everything for them that is within our power and if we have the strength to make children's dreams real, then we must do this, even if our dreams are sometimes unworkable. I believe that children need to dream and this is the meaning of life! Thank you @humanearl
It makes no sense to me how children are told to dream as much as they want but when they become adults they are told to stop dreaming and be "real".
You are right when we grow up many dreams go away and so let our children dream while they are still small, this is their golden time!
life has weird stages and most of them you just want to give up but I know everything will get better :) My dad has schizophrenia ever since i was born and i know mental health from what you are going through is totally different but as a child of my father and from a daughter's perspective i never got the support i always wanted growing up, its hard when your mom is always at work and your dad is just at home talking to himself.I try to find ways to get that support growing up because i couldn't understand my situation and most of the time you get it from the wrong people. its hard when everything is falling apart and you feel alone. So please never crush your daughter's dreams give her endless support that you can provide and she will find her way in life even if everything is hard because she knows her dad always got her back :)
@nessyquel I'm sorry to hear your story. That really sucks. That's why I'm here. To offer encouragement and support for people who otherwise are not getting it elsewhere. I hope you are in a much better place.
And thank you I plan on giving my little girl room to flourish as a person. I can't stifle her talents.
thank you @humanearl :) and I am in a much better place i still live at home with my family but my mindset is much better :) growing up I had a lot of questions to why but eventually I found them out and you just need to let things happen but never lose hope, I always have a saying that if your are born unfortunate and if you die unfortunate its going to be your fault and you have no one else to blame but yourself because you had a lifetime to change it. and thank you for supporting people like us ,you give a human side here at steemit that people really need
Believe in your daughter dream and always support her towards it. Don't crush her dreams instead motivate her until her dream comes true. Sure one day you will be proud for your daughter :)
I plan on giving her the green light to be herself and use her talents and gifts.
I've never owned a car in my life. I've always lived in places where public transport was sufficient or within walking distance of wherever I needed to go.
I've had a lot of things go wrong for me in the last few months, but my family motto has helped me through it - "if it isn't an arse, it's an elbow!"
It may not be a typical motto, or in any way inspirational, but it's a reminder that things go wrong and we continue nonetheless and don't allow them to bog us down.
I just thought about that. If I lived in a city like New York for example, there would be no need for a car due to the public transportation..
"if it isn't an arse, it's an elbow!" I like that saying. It sticks in my head.
There are more external influences that can crush her dreams outside of how you socialize her primarily. It is secondary socialization and I sense it with my daughter, age 4, too. My 1998 Mustang GT I paid for and then gave to my brother, my Explorer I repossessed from a former business partner in 2001, my Silver CLK got repossessed around 2003 and the cycle begins. Happy 2018!
Happy 2018! @efthemia
At the end of the day, the way I see it is that they are just cars. Thats it.
Love people, use things <3
You are really amazing and wonderful sir always together to the top
Excellent pictures, save your daughter God and I am happy to live the life you want Pia
steemit Something amazing now knows us about people like you I love this so much with success. :D
I want my daughter to embrace who she is and do what she really wants.
your girl is so cute and you are strong you can control on your life
Thank you. I try my best!
Wow wha a cute little gril.Realy your gril is looking very beautiful.Upvote and resteem done.
Thanks!
Thanks you very much sir.
We have so many questions in life as we grow up not only physically but mentally. We doubt even our own capabilities. But we must know what we can do. We can be anyone what we wanted to. We just need to determine what it is and do anything to achieve it.
Not only do we have to believe in ourselves but it also helps when our skills and talents are reinforced by our family.
YES AMEN TO THAT! We need support. No man is an island. And our family is the best choice to have help with. They are the best!
I am loving this post @humanearl.
As a father and a teacher I go back and forth on the subject of how and when to push kids toward or away from certain plans. Yes, I want young people to find something they are excited about and go for it, but when you’re young, and you live in a celebrity-obsessed culture, those ideas tend to fall into only a few categories: become a Bieber, a Woods, a Gates, or a Gaga.
A few generations ago, children had little choice. They went into the family business or worked the land like their parents did. Now there are countless career options out there, more than most of us can keep track of. I do a lot of career surveys with my students, and half the jobs that come up we’ve never heard of before. What does a Medical Sonagrapher do? A System’s Analyst? (I’ve had this one explained to me so many times, and I still have no clue). But kids want to be what they see. In the past, this was why many kids did what their parents did and why families had generations of cops or teachers or trapeze artists. Today, this is why many young kids, including my own, want to be movie stars, rock stars, pro athletes, and, the now fourth most popular choice I hear from boys, video game designer. Thanks for sharing
I agree many kids want to be what hey see in the media and then there are those kids that want to be themselves and do what they really like. For me I wanted to be a music producer but it wasn't because of what I saw in the music industry. I just really loved and enjoyed creating music.
This is an important post.
When my students announce they’ll do any job as long as it makes them rich, I try to help them see there are many careers that offer plenty of cash and personal satisfaction. When they tell me they’re going to be the next top athlete, I tell them they better be practicing every day, right now.
The truth is, we can see our passions in how we spend our time. I tell all my students, and my kids, that if they plan on becoming something, they better be doing it now. (That’s usually when they settle on becoming a video game designer.)
We as parents and educators need to find ways for our children and students to explore their passions now. If a kid wants to be a vet, there’s no reason why she can’t be putting in a few hours at a local shelter as a volunteer. My son likes dancing with his yo-yo, so I’m looking into an internship with the Smother’s Brothers
See that's what I'm talking about! That is so cool that you are trying to explore what he wants to do. Great Example . A good way to get a sense of what your kid would like to do is to observe what they spend alot of time doing and enjoy.
@humanearl - Sir I didn't know what was happened to you until I read this post... I have a request to you... Please never crush the dreams of your kids & Sir please tell me how can I help you... When a great humanity needs help, no matter what is the cost I'll help them... So for me you are one of them...
STEEM can be a solution for it Sir... So hold for a moment, I think you can buy a car soon Sir...
+W+
I was just thinking about how my dreams were crushed and how I do not want this for my daughter. I want to make sure she does the things she really wants to do when she gets older.
@humanearl - Sir financially I'm not well established... But thanks to Steemit I can earn a decent income now... At the moment I have faith about this wonderful platform Sir...
+W+
overwhelm her dream nor impose your dream upon her...allow her flourish in her very own manner obviously...who is aware of some thing excellent, some thing creative might also come out...
I want to give her time and space to explore.
yea
Nice to meet you @humanearl I have enough life experience to wonder if this didn't happen for a reason. Over and over unfortunate things have happened in my own life only to turn out to be better for me in the end.
Who knows? that car may have ended your life. But instead, it was taken away, allowing your amazing daughter to continue having you in her life. There are stories like: People being late for work (and worried about being fired) on 911... Folks losing a chance at a once-in-a-lifetime voyage on The Titanic... and so on. While not suggesting this is on that scale, you just never know.
https://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/canceled-titanic-passages.html
I've seen enough of it in my own life that when a setback comes I turn it into a positive in the case that it may have prevented something even worse from occurring. This attitude frees me from being weighed down by disappointment and I hope it gives you some solace as well.
You may not have that car but you do have your wife and that wonderful little girl. Inspire her and let her grow into the strong successful woman you know she'll be. Blessings to you all. :)
This is the comment of the day. Love this so much and I understand clearly. In the moment it is hard to see things with that perspective but now that you have said it then I realize and am reassured that everything happens for some purpose.
And it's interesting you mentioned 9/11. My cousin who lives in New York actually was supposed to get on one of those flights but she missed it for some reason. She may have initially been frustrated that she missed it but looking back it is a blessing that she did miss it.
Thanks for your wisdom and insight @evernoticethat
Exceptional post here @humanearl
This is why it’s so very important for parents to encourage their children in their career decisions. I understand that as parents they worry about their children's future. In the case of my nephew's parents. They ensured he graduated before he could pursue his dream of becoming a photographer. They wanted to be assured that he was suitably educated.
Some day when I have children, I know I’ll let them soar and achieve their dreams and I hope you will too.
Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.
Children need models rather than critics. God bless you.
I want to do the same for my children too. I think it's unfair to them to try to box them in and make them become someone they're not.
Always push her to achieve her dreams and always support when no one is there to motivate her :)
Will do!!!
That's great all the best :) keep inspiring and smiling
The indoctrination is really a major setback in the current era and the parent in particular are in race with other parents to prove the worth of their child. But this is needed utmost attention now to think about it deeply otherwise we are ruining the innovative thinking of a child.
Thank you...steem on and stay blissful...
Hopefully it changes but it seems the indoctrination is growing.
There's a quote in Nigeria that says "Once bitten, twice shy". Your story is one that still has a future. You can't let little truffles hold you back from achieving what you set yourself to. Get back up, learn your lesson and move on. Finally, make sure you teach your little baby the right way, so she doesn't go through the pains you are going through as a parent right now. Stay safe!
Thanks. I won't allow myself to be held back. I will keep pushing. I have more work to do and I still have to lead my family and be a great example
True that! Life is what you make of it. I wish you and your family the very best. God bless
@humanearl,
Go beast mode and let nothing stop me from doing what I was put on this Earth to do. Yes it's personal and I have this chip on my shoulder that I will constructively use as fuel. This is just what I needed to push my self to the next level. I feel sorry for whatever or whoever is trying to stop me from being HumanEarl. I mean no harm, I'm just passionate.Bro no one can stop you! Don't let your angels' (your kids) dreams down! We all here to support you! I will do my best to help you at this moment! It's just a car, nothing else! You got yourself and you got Steemians as your backup!
Nothing can stop you! If someone trys to stop you you got someone behind you!
Cheers~
Much love man!! Thanks for that. It means alot to know that.
Do not loose hope ,be there for her alike you are,she could get all the love she needs from both her parents and do not give up ,life always takes turns that is expected but hold onto it and carry on .
You are a real inspiration buddy at this age you have indeed been through too much at the end you are still standing with loving family that what matters ,go on buddy !
Your words are appreciated. Thanks for understanding and trying to help.
You are young and have a wise head on your shoulders, and I share the same passion for my girls to become who they want to be, not who society wants them to be. You and your family will be ok. <3
I think you are a great example to your girls. You seem to be a strong and passionate person which is good for kids to see from their parents.
This was really emotional. U have faced a lot in this age but sucide is never a option. U didnt get a chance to persue your dreams but crushing your daughter dreams might lead the same consequences in the future. This might be one more challenge for you wich you should overcome. The thing is don't give up, if you do then it might be the end. So keep on trying until you success. We are always here to support you. God bless you.
Thanks for encouraging me. I don't plan on doing this to my daughter. I want to support what she wants to do unlike how it was for me.
Yes you have to support her so dont feel down. Just encourage her, support her and tell her "daddy's always there for you". You should be her motivation. This cute little girl will then make you proud in future.
Looking back it is easy to say - what if. But often it happened for a reason. The best you can do is focus on present and try to eliminate the 'what if' in future.
Good luck!
True that. It's why from now on I will do everything I can to not live a what if life.
I wish all your and your girls dream come true.
Thanks so much Ajay
well the life is challenging sometimes but god only test those who are good and don't give up just like you man and i have seen your blog the test's out but you are the stronger one may god bless you and your girl all dreams come true this is my wish :)
And I know there will be many tests in the future but I will be stronger and better at handling them. God has truly taught me alot in this last year or so.
she is very cute ! please dont crush her Dream
Don't worry I wont at all. She has my full support.
you are really good man 😍😍😍😍😍
Everyone will always have at least some adversaries to their dreams. People may try to stop you, however, all things can be done if we can overcome the obstacles. Just like Walt Disney.
Adversity is good. It teaches you to be disciplined and mentally tough. So I embrace it and I am getting better at handling it.
Yes you said very correctly and this one is an excellent article by you @humanearl. Once we respond to a kid with preset mind or restrict a growing kid then ultimately we are ruining all the creativity within and the creativity dies out.
Thank you and Have a great day.
No you should not crush her dream nor impose your dream upon her...let her flourish in her own way naturally...who knows something wonderful, something creative may come out...
Thanks.
That's the plan. Let her flourish.
Growing up, I wasn't encouraged to dream, to have aspirations, or to pursue anything I thought of UNLESS there was a chance for great financial gains. I grew up in an entrepreneurial home. No 9-to-5's here. We work when there's work and we don't question it. It paid us well, and yet I was so unhappy. I stare at the screen in front of me, I ask myself : ***What would the world be if all children were allowed to dream and in turn follow those dreams? *** Your child is in excellent hands.
What did you dream of doing?
I don't think I had one....And while that sounds pretty sad I have many today. What's important is that we allow our children to have them and encourage them to pursue what they love.
It's never to late to begin following what energizes you. Go for it.
she is so cute, look at her eyes :) @humanearl
keep the spirit, every dream filled with spirit will surely be real, your baby girl will surely say the same thing to you my friend
keep spirit :)
"Every dream filled with spirit will surely be real" @thomasjug I will take that to heart
Indoctrination is a huge bane in the society. This is particular pathetic here in Africa where the parents try to force all their children to study what they call professional courses which include Medicine,Law, Engineering. The children who have not been able to live up to this expectation are regarded as failures in life. This really should not be the case. Every child should be free from indoctrination and allowed to chase her dreams. Nice post
I've heard many times that this is how it is in Nigeria specifically. Parents want their kids to go into medicine and law like you said. I wonder why many parents do this to their kids?
he follow and upvote I follow and upvote back
She is cute... You should always support her and motivate.
Hold onto your dreams and protect your daughter's dreams. It is the dreams of the next generation we should strive to achieve as it is for them we build the world.
And mate, from a 47 year old with nothing except his animal companions, I can say that I would rather have what I have and stay true to my ideals and beliefs than be crushed and pulped into just another unrecognisable slave to society.
"I would rather have what I have and stay true to my ideals and beliefs than be crushed and pulped into just another unrecognisable slave to society." @andyfishman This is me in a nutshell. I agree 10,000%
hmm..
@humanearl
Whenever something like this happens, try, just try to look at it as an opportunity.
It may seem bizarre at first, but trying to find a new angle always help your brain to form new paths.
Also, they're both really lucky to have you in their life.
God bless you all <3
And detours will definitely build problem solving skills. That's for sure. Thanks for those words.
baby...so sweet of you.........../////////
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Your baby is soo cute...
Appreciate it.
this children is so cute <3