There seems to be a ton of no and f^ck no going on. Let's try this. Please read, it's suppose to be funny but with a point.

You live in a small corner of your state. Your county only has a few thousand people in it and it's time to vote for the county clerk and recorder to be elected. I guess you live in a state that votes on that sort of thing.

You are a dedicated voter and you believe it is an important role you play as an American. So you get to work researching the two main candidates. You set up Google alerts for them and read every single article with their names on it. you go to the local library and find microfiche of their high school paper. You make sure that your candidate is unwavering in his/her convictions and it matches your own. You are also sure that the other candidate is vile. They are generally a bad person. You found out through reputable sources that they steal their neighbors paper. They don't recycle and they never tip over ten percent.

Election day comes along and you show up slightly dressed up tot he only voting booth in town. You cast your vote and you are confident that your well qualified applicant is the best choice for you, the town, and your children's' future.

Ten pm rolls around and the Kroger you voted at is about to close, and so are the voting booths. The race is literally neck and neck with the votes perfectly tied. You are standing outside in the cold calling all of your friends asking if they voted, and who for. You can' reach out to anyone to flip this vote for right, liberty and justice.

Just then you hear the roar of a smoked out diesel engine. Coming up the road with one headlight out, blasting Creed is Derek. He drives across the parking lot paying no attention to lanes or traffic lines. He put's his hazards on and parks in the fire lane near the entrance to the store. Derek get's out of his truck and takes a long pull on his cigarette then places the pack into his jean jacket. He runs in and casts his ballot, on his way out you walk up politely and say "sir may I ask you a quick question?" Not used to being called sir for any reason he doesn't respond. You jog up to him an repeat yourself.

Derek spins around and you get hit with the tench of booze and low priced tobacco. You ask him, mind if I asked who you voted for? Normally you wouldn't ask that of a stranger but this is important dammit! He says "yeah bro, I was on my couch drinking and watching Doctor Phil re runs when my phone sent me a youtube video of (the other guy) right then I thought I'd have a beer with that (person).

That's how Kim Davis got elected. Probably.

Is it terrible to say that some bars to voting may be useful?