Hugs to You A.
You are one of the smartest people I know and I'm positive if you put your mind to it you will rise to the top once again. Like you said, we are fully responsible for our actions and the fact that you acknowledge it says alot about you. It's just one of those low moments in life really, nothing lasts forever, if anything, this will probably make you stronger. Hate to sound cliche, but its true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger xoxo