Yeah, I believe your opinions are valid. I have three kids. In my early experience as a dad, parenting was a lot harder than I expected! @wildfamily and I spent an entire summer touring the U.S. and interviewing 40 families about life with kids, in order to better understand how other people manage the hard parts of parenting, etc. We produced a documentary feature film on this subject, called Wild Family. One of our key takeaways is that we (parents) are both teachers and students. Our kids are also our teachers and students. They are mirrors for us, allowing us to see where we're at emotionally, as we grow together, witnessing each other. I believe that the next level of conscious parenting agrees that our kids are our equals, each with our own soul contracts and our own lessons to learn, and our own karma. And this view of equality grants each person the potential of self-mastery. There is freedom in this, for kids and parents alike. As you say, when the parent stifle's a child's willpower to the extreme, there's a possibility that the child's patterning of powerlessness will make them subservient as they grow older, and this is where I think spanking can be detrimental (just my person thinking, not a judgment of any kind). An ideal father figure is tender. An ideal mother figure is embracing of a child exactly as is. These are my beliefs and they're echoed through many people's voices in the aforementioned film.
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Yes. And at the same time, we parents have to forgive ourselves (and our children) for the natural initiations we experience as a family unit, where we learn who we are, explore space, define boundaries, etc. Spanking is one of the patterns passed down through many, many generations, and to me it feels almost instinctual (not to say that it’s right or wrong). There are no established rules, or roadmaps in parenting. This is a journey that requires inner guidance. It’s a Higher learning. You mention the idea of mirroring, and yes, this is a real gift I see in family life: Seeing the oneness of one’s “self” in others, and sharing the pains, the joys… all the while learning how to love each other, as we learn how to love ourselves.
Aho! And the family unit is a microcosm of our “Greater Family,” which is all of us. Harmony and Peace are sure to occur in the world when there is an honoring of others as our relations. We saw slivers of this in the Standing Rock Movement. Unfortunately, many of our family members were not quite ready to look in the mirror.