The galaxy is but a mighty place and I could feel the way you edified the celestial edifice, in fact the stars and the heavens were well magnified especially in this verse

Lake unseen, of air
Feeling itself through ephemeral correspondence
Filled with creatures engaged in battle
With the febrility of day

It's amazing I love your use of English, and even the recitation is more than splendid, I mean you really went with the flow of words and allowed the rhythms to do your bidding, it's amazing and awesome