I am in favor of positive feedback - the one you describe you received in sports training and army might be motivating for some but is not useful in my opinion. I think it impacts people positively who were given that kind of feedback throughout their lives (most have had that kind of harsh upbringing which might even have included physical violence (spanking) as a form of "criticism" of their behavior)
Personally, I don't think this serves us well as mankind overall.
Guidance and positive correction are much more to my liking.
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I acknowledge and understand the points you raise. I got spanked as a kid at home and in school. I got at least one teacher-delivered spanking in each grade, 1st through the 6th. While I'm personally not an advocate for that sort of punishment, (I never spanked my daughter), I don't feel that I was ever really harmed physically or psychologically from it. I also have a sister, two years older than me, and I don't recall her ever getting spanked. That hurt me more than the spankings did. :)
I've never felt that the tough criticism I received from the coaches and from the drill sergeants in my life, has done anything other than improve on the product, which is me. I'm sure I wouldn't have played football as well without it, and I'm sure I would have been useless as a soldier, and less of a man, if the Army hadn't trained me to be one, they way they did.
IMO, there's nothing wrong with using guidance and positive correction as a method to train someone, and I would advise it also for one on one training. However, when lots of people need to all be trained together to work together as a team with a specific mission and in a short amount of time, I don't believe it would be efficient or effective.
I am sure that different people do react differently as well. While you feel that the coaching you received was helpful, for others, it might be devastating. And, we are talking also about 2 activities that have a certain amount of violence build in.
funny that your sister not getting spanked hurt more LOL But here, we could go into a whole discussion of sexism or the different conditioning of genders from early on.
Such a big topic.
And thank you for your long reply. Much appreciated.
My pleasure :)
The reason I felt hurt that my sister didn't get spanked, was because she and her best friend would constantly goad me into reacting at their doing things to me. Then when I'd chase them, they would lead me to where my mother could see me chasing after them, and they'd lie and tell her I was trying to hit them or that I had hit them, and then when my dad came home I'd get the spanking, while I'd see her sitting there, smirking.
She never really changed much as an adult either, unfortunately. I've never had the feeling that, being her younger brother, she's cared much about me, as her behavior toward me continued to be pretty bad. It's only now, when we are both much older that she's putting the feelers out occasionally, which I guess are attempts to gauge my feelings about her.
I've told her several times that I hold nothing against her, but there remains in the air an uncertain feeling between us, and I think it has to do with her recognizing her own guilt from the past.