Man! Watching that was strange.
I burned out about 7 years ago and it crushed me. I never had depression, as I interpret it, but I was in a bad way.
Stress from having a new family and being self employed took its toll and my body literally shut down on me. It got to the point that I would go to work every day thinking I was not going to make it back alive and that I would do the best I could to earn what I could to leave for my family. That lead to me not leaving my house for 6 weeks at all!! I was convinced , from the crushing chest pains ,that I was about to die any second. I could not even pick up a phone to tell a customer I was not going to complete a job because the pain would be paralysing.
I felt I was at the bottom of a very deep hole and the daylight was a pin prick. All I knew was that if I kept clawing at the earth I would be at ground level someday again.
I kept it all secret from my extended family and friends which was a mistake in hindsight .
One day I woke up and decide enough was enough and went to the doctors. He immediately said ' STOP NOW!'
It took me 18 months to get back to any kind of normality.
You are the first person who has interpreted that feeling I have ever heard.
Everyday was a struggle as my social anxiety was through the roof. Bit by bit I pushed myself and as you say it was fight or flight. My natural defence mechanism when backed into a corner is to lash out, and to some extent it still is .
The thing is I got to ground level and kept going and going and going.
Now I have invested so many days and years improving myself that I barely recognise my former self and even struggle to connect with 'normo's'.
All I see is people who have been through it and people who have not, plain and simple.
I see you use the term ' Forged in Fire' as well and it is the best way to describe it.
I do not consider my level of self improvement acceptable yet and I doubt I ever will.
Onwards and Upwards is my motto.
Good work and Thanks.
Your story is powerful. This lights me up. It feels good to know someone else understands because as you probably know people don't understand the severity of the situation. I was a zombie and I know my family could tell and like you I kept my mouth closed about it. I am also making improvements but I still feel I have a ways to go.
I really enjoyed reading that. I hope you continue to heal and continue to overcome.
This was the book that sparked change in my situation.
https://www.amazon.com/Play-Away-Workaholics-Cure-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B00IACZECE
Thank you, I think once you experience it you are forever on the road to self improvement.
I will check the book out.