A flag actually helps to create deeper bonds with people. To see when people strongly agree or disagree. The real world takes people to do hard decisions sometimes. This is the awesome thing with the Steem Blockchain. It has realness and accountability.
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I completely agree! I've seen people fall into the trap of flag wars many times over the months. A lot of them leave the platform for lack of understanding how to deal with a simple downvote in a culture so obsessed with "happiness and positivity!" Defensiveness does not work well to heal situations.
I've been flagged before and it was because even though I thought I was doing the right thing, my behavior was actually unintelligent after further reflection. It was a good experience. I changed my approach and life moved on. Steemit has made me a better person.
The people that I have disagreed with the most have usually turned into my best friends. Which is kind of funny. Since it shows a person can stand up for themselves. As you say it makes people consider their world view and behaviour. Makes you grow.
Yes people get hurt for a day or two. Then they learn more and consider their behaviour in life and learn more about themselves. Most stuff in life is just misunderstandings here and there. Also makes people respect each other much more in the long run when you have been through more together.