Divine Disneyland: A horror story

by Daniel Matos
I wanted to reach the top, I had to reach the top, I could see the sun coming up there, when a wild Pluto appeared in front of me, blocking my way. That was when behind a tree Dante appeared and said "Come, come, young artist, that way there is no way, so come with me so I can teach you another way to reach the top." And so I followed, and soon we were entering the gates of Disneyland. "Through here we have to go, crossing those many theme parks so you can reach your goal, but before I have a very important question to ask you." "Ask it" I said to Dante. "So, okay, I understand that reading the whole Divine Comedy is a hard work, but at least my whole page on wikipedia you could have taken the trouble to end, right?" "Yeah ... I planned to, but did not found it necessary, because I intend to finish writing this text in less than an hour." "So, not even a citation in italian will I speak throughout our journey? "" Wait ..." "Una bellissima ragazza è il sole, una creatura straordinaria, one che fa l'galoppare immaginazione." "Satisfied?" "A quote from me, no from Marcello Mastroianni." "Yeah ... ok, let’s continue on my journey!" " But not even Disneyland you know how it is" " ... "

Guided by Dante, we enter the first of Disney´s theme parks: a thematic city taken by thousands of Goofys in love. Passionate, abandoned, goofy. "Love means never having and losing, love is to have and even still lose, love is to remember and be forgotten, love is to forget, but always remember. Let's ask one of those Goofys, my young artist friend." "They all seem different, but they are so equal in their stupidity." "Any one will do. Hey you, yes you there writing that letter, come here!" And the Goofy came. "What is it about this letter?" "I don’t understand, for I loved with all the nano-particle of my being, and yet it was not enough. It is preferable to be in the mud, than in my presence? I don´t know, really don´t know, I thought I knew, but I don´t know. And if I only knew that, what's left of me now? I don´t know." "It's quite pathetic, Dante. " "Yes, let's go to the next."

One city after a rainbow is what came before us. A picturesque colorful city, taken by smiling rats. As soon as we enter it, we were greeted by a smiling Mickey Mouse. "Hello friends, everything is perfect today! I hope that you all are having fun!" "Why are you so happy?" asked Dante. "Hahahaha, why else would I, because I am! Look how I smile, of course I'm happy! Hahaha." "But what is the reason for all this?" I asked. "Hahaha, because I'm happy! I have to be happy, no? What do you want, that I be something else? What do you expect me to be otherwise? Do you want me to be miserable? Is that it? Why would anyone want someone to be in a miserable state? Just because nothing in my life has any importance and all meaning has been destroyed, crushed in the gutter? You want me to lie crying in the gutter? Turn into an alcoholic? Is that it? So you can very well go harass another mouse, because this one is a happy one! I must be! I am! Yes, yes, look how I smile!" "I do not want to smile like him, let's continue." Dante said.

We crossed a bridge over a lake of fire, pieces of pigs were floating in the water painted in red, some of those pieces were still moving and among then there were mouths that shouted "Never again, never again." A worm wriggled on the road full of tumors. We come to Duckburg. An enraged Donald Duck walked angry through the street quacking unrecognizable words. Dante reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet to get a coin, then he shot it with his finger into air. The coin rose, then fell on the sidewalk in front of us, drawing the attention of Uncle Scrooge, who until then had not noticed us. "A coin, a precious coin, could it have fell from my wallet? Hum ... it is yours? What lack of attention with your precious money!" "Yeah, how clumsy am I, thanks for returning it. One question, do you know what's wrong with that duck there?" asked Dante. "Hah ... my nephew is revolted by the hen he loves. Every two seconds, she gives a different kind of attack, not knowing what she want from life, and it affects him wholly. Yelling that she really doesn´t love him, that she can´t recognize his value, and then he punches the walls. My nephew always has those problems with his hens. The first, another crazy one, disappeared one day, leaving him with three eggs to raise. Hah ... and you think he was taking care of those eggs? No, the three were left for me. And worse still, he only calls then nephews. The three little bastards do not even know that he is there father! But I've learned my lesson in life. I've also been flustered as a young duck with those short skirts that were worth nothing, they never knew what they wanted out of life, and only caused problems. That's why I gave myself to my beautiful coins. You know how to live a good life? Simple, just depend on yourself for everything. And money will give you this possibility. Hah, I remember the first time I could fill my big safe full of gold coins, I went swimming in it and broke my spine. Do you think I started crying after that? No, I changed then for the best adamantium bones in the market. Yes, now that metal is part of our continuity. What money can´t buy?" "But still, you never thought of falling in love again, even in this new condition of self-sufficient?" I asked. "Ah ... yes ... of course, always believed that with a strong hen beside me, supporting me in all my goals, I could become much richer. But you think I found one? Hens today are being conditioned to satisfy a lot more society’s needs than anything else, they get lost in an cheap ego, believing it to be there´s, but it is only a creation of society for it´s on sake, so they lose completely sight of the whole picture. None can conceive in there’s imaginations the kind of union possible to override everything else as I thought. But, do you want to know who is the hen of my life? She's here! So Uncle Scrooge took a coin from his pocket and showed us the outline of a hen in one of its sides. We continued to the next park.

The path of the park began to vanish, and become quickly a heap of loose stones. We went down, and everything around us had become a gray stone horizon. Dante went in front of me, puzzled. "It's weird, my young artist friend, we should be rising, but we're going down, and I don’t know the reason of this. Tell me what was your initial question to be needing to reach the top?" I was going to answer Dante, when suddenly...