An Episode of Depression

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Do you know the most frustrating thing about coming out of depression? It's knowing that when you are in a depressed state that the solution is within yourself but you can't be bothered to do anything about it.

You may, (or probably may not) have read a recent 30 days to a new me series I wrote. Well I say I wrote, I got up to day 22 and then found ways not to write anymore.

I was/am still sort of keeping with the structure but I've had a bad day today.

Why today feels worse than the other down days I've had recently? It's coz there isn't a specific reason. The other days I could put it down to

  1. Pressure at work (potentially imagined pressure in my head)
  2. Living in a single room.
  3. Feeling like a failure.

I guess I could feel bad about those things if I wanted to but I don't. In fact I probably shouldn't feel bad about those things. After all

  1. at least I am earning some money
  2. At least I'm not homeless
  3. At least I tried

Whilst those things are true, the justification sounds like excuses for being a loser.