It is hard to recognize that you are truly worthy of yourself. I feel for you when you say you sometimes feel stuck in dark thoughts. It may not be so bad if it can help you process this tortured reality we live in. I hope you can strike that balance between light and darkness.
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I learned to live with it, sometimes I can even avoid falling too deep, and I am experimenting new ways of dealing with it. Even posting about it here is an experiment. I never talked about it. I know I'll be fine, but the shadow is a part of me.
Let’s hope the experiment pays off (no pun intended).