I believe that my reply(below of yours at the moment) is addressed for your mindset. I don't have the wisdom and the experience to advise you but I believe that you should leave behind those negative thoughts. Life is good my friend, be positive, hustle and only good things will happen.
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Yes, @kouloumos I try to get rid of some really bad thoughts. I do. You are very right about advising me to improve my mindset. I am sure it would help me a lot if I changed it. but it's not easy to change your way of thinking. What you think and how you think is a uniqueness of your personality. I also don't wanna change it completely as I am afraid I may start feeling differently. I think it's good how I feel situations, people and nature. I don't wanna change that. Anyway, thanks my friend 🙂