Thanks for sharing your journey with complete transparency. A trader at the end of the day doesnt care what direction the market goes as they know how to trade both directions. In addition they already know their stop losses before they enter the trade. If you can start with these 2 key principles its a great start to have. In addition research has shown that if you have a source of income even from a part time job that traders usually do better at trading as the pressure is taken off. Good luck with journey/