When feelings disappear, what makes some couples do not separate?
There are couples who fall in love and make their feelings last throughout their lives. And then there are those who remain together without love.
For those who often wonder how they got there, the British newspaper "Current Psychology" listed the reasons why some couples prefer to age together, even if they do not love each other anymore. Result? These are usually couples of very long dates, or those who have invested in common (real estate) goods that usually stay together, even when love is no longer there.
According to researchers responsible for the study, the main reason why these couples who do not love each other remain together is called "the effect of the unrecoverable cost".
The Sunk Cost Effect is a well-known concept in psychology and refers to the tendency of some individuals to continue unsuccessfully behaviors, situations or projects in which they have already invested money, time or efforts, even if they do not want it any more or that it is not worth the blow.
Four factors that make the couple last (despite the disappearance of feelings)
This study recalls an interview with sociologist Jean-Claude Kaufman, invited to Europe 1 in March 2016, who listed the four main reasons why couples do not separate. According to the expert, the first reason why people stay in a couple is money: "When you have a small wage or no work: it is impossible (...) We are materially trapped", had thus explained Jean-Claude Kaufman.
Fear. This is why unhappy couples stay together. Separation is terrifying. So many unknowns. Money is just one of them. Let's not forget that most long-term couples have kids and there's usually an understandable terror of causing untold damage to the children by breaking up the marriage. There's also the suspicion that you might be 'better with the devil you know'. And there's self-doubt too. Do I REALLY know I'll be better off alone? 'I know it feels like I'm miserable but maybe I just need to fight a little harder. Have I really fought the good battle?' These thoughts and anxieties can loop around and around, and before you know it 30 years have passed!
very good
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I wish you wrote more on this topic as i actually found it interesting.
The sunk cost effect is particularly true especially if the couples would lose everything in the long run. Sometimes Love is the least of most peoples worries, their real estate, cars, houses is enough motivation to want to keep living together.
In addition to your post, i am sure, their chidren is another reason most couples keep living together. Culture is naother big reason, i am from Africa where divorced couples irresective of their reasons for divorce are seen as failures, the society stigma is usually much and bad....,
keep writing
thanks for your beautiful comments.
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Interesting post, thank you for sharing.
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thanks