A big payout is always a strong motivation. It's like a breath of fresh air. You feel like "yeah, I'm here now and I'm never going anywhere!" and you just keep plugging away with the aim of getting better results. I am so sorry for your loss, my condolences. It's really painful when we lose a loved one and such a loss could surpass drive for a lot of things, even money. Life goes on however, I'm sure you're still healing and i'm glad you decided to go back at it. I'm sure the love and support of good steemians will soon put you back on track.
Thanks for your share! @j-vo