Anyone who rents accommodation will have plenty of stories like this, but I've got to get it out there because its just so ridiculous.

When my wife was a university student, she rented a small house along with a few of her friends and I used to stay with her fairly regularly. As I said, everyone who rents has horror stories of terrible landlords or neighbors, but I think this one really takes the piss.

The landlord was generally completely useless- he had a 'handyman' called Alan who would appear to do a shit job of half-fixing whatever problem we had reported. Alan pulled all the wallpaper off of s wall that had damp, chipped away a load of the damp plaster, and then just left it. Alan replaced a door with a piece of wood that you jammed in the hole. Alan was totally shit.

But there was one problem that even Alan couldn't fix. One day, we started to notice there were quite a few flies around the house. Over the next few hours, dozens and dozens of flies started appearing. The downstairs rooms of the house were thick with them. We phoned the landlord, who literally told us that it 'wasn't his problem' as it was a Saturday, and to phone him again on Monday. Ok dude, not like your tenants are practically fighting off a plague or anything!

We bought fly strips, those dangling lines with sticky stuff on. They were pretty successful. We had a good laugh when one of my wife's housemates accidentally became entangled in one. After a while, the flies died down.

The next week, after doing the square root of fuck all to help, the landlord announced we'd have a visit from some prospective new tenants, the unlucky bastards. No one was in for the visit, so it happened without us.

But then, we got an email from the landlord. The basic gist of the message was, 'can you please remove the fly strips for future visits, as they are putting off potential tenants'.

Can you

remove

the fly strips?

I don't know....

Can you

go fuck yourself?

We put up even more fly strips. We placed the worst ones in the most prominent places. We lived another week with dead flies everywhere just to piss this guy off.