Wow how long has this ranting been going on. I feel like ranting all the rants since this ranting started. I technically have everyday as a day i rant.
I will advice you @eveokonma but i will also rant too. I can relate to an extent, though our situations are entirely different. I do understand what you mean when you say that you feel like you will never be happy, every day for me is a living hell. The last two years have taught me that life is a horrible thing and I have come to feel like we are all born just to suffer.
For starters I have been unemployed for five years since I graduated high school (I'm 23) the only two jobs I did have I got because I knew the right people and I lost them after just a month because I have learning disabilities that got in the way. I lost almost all the people I considered my friends from high school because they found out early on I was unemployed and felt that I was a bum. They all turned on me and started talking crap on me...I still have a few friends but I am constantly paranoid that they are talking behind my back and planning to betray me because they think I am worthless. My best friend moved off to North Carolina and later his god mother convinced him everyone from back home including me was bad news, he turned against me and everyone that loved him and said horrible things. He allowed his god mother to say horrible things regarding my family and did not believe me when I told him about it. This kid was like my brother, I would have died for him and we went through hell together.

I stopped him from ending his life multiple times and he paid me back with a knife in the back. March 2011 my father was arrested (I'm not going to get into why) and a month later my mother went into kidney failure. After that our family was slammed hard with all the financial issues that my father kept secret from us. He dug himself into a hole of major debt not related to why he was arrested but because he was arrested my sick mother was left to clean up the mess. I have seen nothing but bad things and it's had a bad effect on me...why do I keep on going? I honestly don't know. I feel so horrible about myself and I'd really rather just give up but for some reason I don't.

I don't want to say hang in there because personally it annoys the hell out of me when people say that to me. Same thing goes for when people tell me things will get better. But I will say this...we're both obviously in really bad situations and we seem to have similar outlooks on life. If you want to inbox me to talk, feel free to do so. I don't mind lending a listening ear...when it comes down to it, sometimes we have to let go of the past and try to move forward. This is a lesson I am trying to embrace myself, the longer you hang onto the past the more painful life becomes. If your parents are willing to look past what has been done, then at least try to understand that it's okay and try to turn the page and burn the book. In the long run, holding on to all of that guilt is just going to make you sick and make things worst.

I'm not the best at giving advice, so I hope this helped at least a little. Like I said feel free to message me if you want to talk.