Steemit, Community, and the Power of Guilt

in #community7 years ago (edited)

As the most popular person on steemit (and then I woke up, what a twist!), I feel I’ve come across the same questions countless time, especially by new members, as well as less successful older members. Primarily, these questions arise in various Discord groups, or in real life (what the hell is real life?) conversations with other steemit members.

Here’s an example:

[random_new_user_69] Why doesn’t anyone upvote my content? My stuff is good. I had that one good post that paid out a crapton of money, then nothing.
[negativer] Yeah, that’s kind of how it works. You got the magical Curie fairy. Her touch is whimsical and fleeting, often never to be seen again. It’s not a measure of good content, really, it’s a representation of chance and luck and timing. Don’t expect it. It’s a fluke.
[random_new_user_69] So….what do?

And thus the common litany of suggestions is offered. Comment often. Respond to comments. Socialize and be seen. Get yourself a nice introduceyourself post. Get more followers. Get breast implants. All of that and more.

However, this misses a major vector of how steemit upvotes work. Since that is what it’s really about for new or struggling users, right? Upvotes? Cash money? Or at least crypto money? Don’t say no, because it’s true. You’re not fooling me.

The most important angle to getting upvotes:

Guilt.

That’s right. Guilt. The most useful...and unhealthy...part of any relationship, whether it be real life or virtual.

How does that work you say? What do you mean, you cry? I like ice cream, you scream?

Here’s what I’ve found:

Creating a bond with fellow mortals is more than what steemit.com is capable of. Critical things are missing, like realtime chat or easy ways to identify common ground like religion or interests or age, or even simple ways to follow the people most important to you and filter out the lame people that you’re inexplicably still following for some ungodly reason.

That bond is necessary to create guilt (as well as other useless things like love and happiness).

That bond is what gets you upvotes.

That’s where the magic of Discord comes in. Once you start hanging out in a Discord group or two with fellow like-minded steemians/steemitizens/steemtits, you start to know them. Their silly little usernames you see on steemit.com actually become attached to a real fleshy person, but without the strings of money attached. You chat with them because you want to.

And so you chat. And you get to know them. And they know you. And you share common things, and everyone runs across fields of flowers in slow motion while sappy music plays.

Then you upvote their stuff on steemit.com. Because you know them, and you like them, and you recoginize their names in your feed. And then you comment, and say something witty or insightful, because you want to impress them.

Aha! And they respond back on your comment with more witty and insightful things, and maybe even an upvote on your comment too.

Then you can imagine them thinking hey, have I upvoted this guy’s stuff lately? I don’t remember seeing them in my feed.

Guilt.

So they go to your feed, and look at your stuff, and toss upvotes and clever comments around like cards at a poker table.

And you, being the sneaky peeping tom that you are, keep an eye on things using steemnow.com or steemworld.org. You were waiting for that interaction, and there it is. You mark them off on your mental checklist of people you’re going to interact with again, since they have that silent agreement to do the same with you.

The unspoken follow for follow, the under-the-table upvote for upvote.

The guilt.

The upvote.

And the cycle begins anew.


Disclaimer: I love my interactions with everyone on Discord and steemit.com. This is not meant to mock anything or anyone other than normal social behavior. Don’t flag me.












Photo credit: Pexels

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Brilliant!
Can't argue with your logic buddy.
I remember the frustration before Discord/MSP came to rescue me back in June. There is no better place to get your audience, plus it's a great crack.
Voted, commented and awaiting interaction 😃
FYI, screw guilt I vote for great work and folks who are really trying to put out 'their' best work. Bollocks! Who am I kidding I do throw around the odd guilt vote!
Damn you @negativer 😂😂

Oh crap. Pressure is on. Witty comments, don't fail me now. Um....

Nice post! great colors on your photo! check out my blog @negativer

SPAMMER!! 😂

HAHA it's awesome the guilt power... I love it!!! I liked your reflections so much I upvoted with 100% (guilt) How's Morodienne didn't saw here on my stuff for a while (guilt) That's make me think I should check what she's up too (guilt -1) Do you guy know Julia and I just released our first feature film on Steemit (guilt+involvment of many users in the discussion I am already improving the technique) the first release of this kind (+1 gp (guilt point). Brilliant!
I had a good laugh with this as usual good writing
(finish with a compliment +.5 gp)
I am killing it right?

Damn man, you just leveled up. I'm impressed by how much guilt you packed into one single comment.

goes off to look at the latest post....ooo...soundtracks...love your music

After 5 minutes I heard of this thing I am already a master at it (showing your ego -1gp damn)!!
Anyway I loved your answer so much I upvoted another 100% (gp +3)
Glad we chatted as your always so insightful (compliment right!)
KILLING IT!!!!!

Random whale drive by -3 area of effect radius kill. Back to the grind.

Dammit. You got me. Revoted, upsteemed and pedantic banter added to the thread. Crap. I almost got away with claiming it got buried in my feed, too.

Witty comment noted, upvote verified, and resteem confirmed. Token upvote given.

The system works.

Teem work makes the steem engines work. ;)

I gave you an upvote. Insert something witty that causes you to feel guilt and upvote me later.

Well.....okay. You've earned some upvote credit. For later.

Insert obligatory comment - because you're my husband
upvote4upvote - if I ever post again, you owe me big time
resteemed - just to spread the salt a bit further on Steemit

Excellent. Maybe someday when you post again, I will be there to upvote you.

You'd better, or I'll be devastated.

if I ever post again

Yer in real trouble then mister!

So this is probably the best time to admit that I don’t actually follow neg on steemit. So, if it wasn’t for you I would never see anything of his. His really lucky to have you! :) am I playing this guilt game right?

WHAT!

heart shattered

Like a pro ;)

You had me at implants.

I tell you, it would enhance your steemit career. Look into it.

Who needs implants. I just need keep drinking pseudo estrogen laiden IPA's and they will be oh-naturel.

Darn...........
Guilt.... It worked...
I know I should say more often but damn I like your breast implants! They look so fluffy!

xxx
Snekky

Thanks snekky! :)

The implants do indeed add an extra...dimension to my life.

Good thing for that disclaimer. Ha ha! But in all seriousness, this is a really great post. I am not sure it's all about "guilt" for me, but that definitely plays into it. I want to do my part, help the people around me, and be a part of that big beautiful love fest you so perfectly described:

And so you chat. And you get to know them. And they know you. And you share common things, and everyone runs across fields of flowers in slow motion while sappy music plays.

I actually have a lot of different things that motivate me to visit, comment, and upvote, not the least of which is that it's actually quite a lot of fun. I'm also always evaluating if I'm doing all the stuff, and if I'm doing it all the right way. In fact, I'm sure I'm not, so you have to throw a dose of neurotic fear in there with the guilt.

Oh, and I really like people. I should mention that. It's really neat to find so many great people to banter with. Am I boring you yet? Okay, I'm done now!

I'm glad you noticed the disclaimer, @jayna. I definitely didn't want anyone to get salty at me for my minor observations.

Some folks have different motivations and reasons than others, and it sounds like yours run the gamut. I think at its most basic level either guilt or gratefulness drive the actions on steemit, but if you're getting your own pleasure out of the 'game' aspect of it, or meeting people, etc, then you're probably more well-rounded than some others :)

Thx for your insightful and interesting commenting, as always!

I see what you did there! We were talking about the meaning of the word “salty” on Discord the other day. Thanks for using it in context so I can learn how to use it.

Yes, I do think it’s a mixed bag. I don’t have as much experience on Steemit as you do, but for some reason my blog doesn’t attract many useless, spammy comments, and very few gratuitous ones. So I have blissfully ignored all those issues.

One thing I’m struggling with is the percentage of upvote to give various comments. For a while I was giving posts I like 100% and comments I like 3%, given that it can take hours to write a post and seconds to write a comment. But then I felt really stingy about comment upvoting; people should feel rewarded for visiting your blog, upvoting and contributing to great conversation, right? So I’m updating my whole strategy. Welcome to the weird, reflective, and somewhat obsessive little world inside my mind.

I think anytime anyone gives you a well thought out comment on your blog, showing that they read the article and actually care to contribute value to it, then they should be rewarded with a decent upvote. So I'm going to practice what I preach and upvote your comment...especially since this is my brother's blog!

Nice to meet you, @mattphilleo! So, it runs in the family then, this Steemit blogging thing? Which of you recruited the other? And do you all use the word “salty” in your family? So many questions.

Well I don't know what to say to that, since I feel guilty.

I don't do a lot of upvoting of comments. Well that's not completely true. Sometimes I go mad and end up with next to nothing votes worth 0 and a VP of 25%.

Then I withdraw from the fray to recover.

Then I upvote myself (oh the guilt, the guilt) thinking that this will help others in the long run because once I get to 500 SP I'll be able to upvote willy nilly to my heart's content. Well at least it will be a lot more than I do now.

And it is true to a certain extent. Right now I am more interested in SP so I can upvote better, than I am in earning money that I can take out of the platform.

My dream of course is to be able to do both one day.

And now I feel guilty for airing this in public.

I'm going for a walk on the seafront so I can ease my suffering soul! 😢 😢 😢 😁

Nothing wrong with a little guilt. :) It makes the system work.

I'm definitely not trying to MAKE people feel guilty. It was just a mild observation on my part that guilt plays a part in social interactions (whether on steemit or elsewhere), but on steemit it becomes more important because money is attached to those actions.

Thanks for the comment, and I always look forward to seeing your comments on my stuff (when you are able) and seeing your photography in my feed (when I catch it!) :)

Is it also possible to feel grateful?

It is! Maybe that's part of the mix too. The guilt makes you feel bad (or makes you feel like you ought to feel bad), and the gratefulness balances it out so you don't just spiral down into utter despair every time you upvote something.

Thanks for mentioning that! :)

Well, I for one refuse to feel guilty. I also think I'll pass on the boob job. I've had it with boobs for now.

Great write up, though.

Guilt optional! Thanks for reading! :)

Wow, I feel so sorry for you.... have half an upvote.

Also, do you know what really grinds my gears besides guilt?

This thing....

Thanks, I just needed somewhere to put that until tomorrow...

Guilt and gratefulness go hand in hand, I think. It's really about why you feel you're doing the things you do. No need to feel sorry for me, sometimes I'm actually grateful too. Thanks for the half upvote, @papa-pepper :)

Well thank you for letting me comment. Not sure where that upvote came from on my GIF, but I'll take it. Must have made someone feel guilty.... what in the world?

Super weird, I agree. I mean, your GIF was nice, granted...but I guess that guy (bot?) really enjoyed it.

Yeah, random upvote bots love that stuff!

Lol. Some serious guilt it's gotta be. 😂😂😂

Guilt and gratefulness go hand in hand, I think.

Yeah, I read your post, you're grateful that you made people feel guilt... I get it.

joke

That's a new take on human motivations. Guilt is a powerful thing. I've noticed Curie has bypassed my posts for almost three weeks now. I used to rely on them for my Steem. Now it's back to the reality of building an audience slowly! I don't know if what you're describing is all guilt or just reciprocity though. I think it depends on how you feel. But if someone is upvoting you consistently, you think, "I should pay them back in kind with some upvotes as well." Of course, familial connections don't hurt either! :)

I think it's a fine line between feeling guilty and feeling grateful. You're thankful for their comment/upvote, and want to pay them back in kind. Or, you're guilty because they commented/upvoted, but you didn't do the same for them.

I think you're right; it depends on how you feel, but it still doesn't change the fact that reciprocity is the result.

I've not had a curie in a good long time, so I know your pain there :)

Of course I upvoted out of guilt, though my upvotes aren't worth anything yet. I already follow you, so there's that (passing on the guilt a little bit), and I guess I'll resteem, cause this post is flipping hilarious and I love it.

Excellent. Mission accomplished. Your tiny upvote still registers, so I GUESS you've earned one guiltpoint (+1gp).

I love how you pegged all of our ground-in social inadequacies in one post. Nice. XD
I love how this is actually helpful information disguised as bitter bitterness about bitter things.

That's how you win. Mix in equal parts salt, bitterness, sarcasm, then cover it over with a layer of something that looks like humor, and suddenly people have read your post, eating all that salt without realizing it, and wondering why they're so thirsty by the time they get to the upvote icon.

Somehow that metaphor held up O.o
sips water

Mix in equal parts salt, bitterness, sarcasm, then cover it over with a layer of something that looks like humor

Oh! hohohohoho. That style of exhuberant & voluptuous post's cooking is exactly the one I like the most. :)

In fact, I've written plenty of recipes with these same fundamental ingredients you are highlighting in your comment. If you dare to click on that previous green text, you'll find one of those ancient recipes I shared here on steemit around a year ago.

Oh! and by the way, this recipe is so old that "The Mix Of Hot, Smoky, Crispy, Saucy Herbs and Mind Blowing Stuff" already expired. So, after reading the whole instructions and thangs there, if you don't wanna miss the main condiment. You must click here to recreate again the entire chef magic & sybaritic inspiration without guilt. }:)

Disclaimer: I love my interactions with everyone on Discord and steemit.com. This is not meant to mock anything or anyone other than normal social behavior. Don’t flag me.

I couldn't help it somehow you guilted me into flagging you instead of upvoting.

Nooooo! This is how flag wars start! ;) A minnow slapfest. That'll draw a crowd :)

Really? Is this all you think of my comments? This drivol isn't getting an upvote OR a comment from me! Wait... I'm already commenting.
Well, now I know your real motivation behind our interactions on discord. And I thought we had something. Hah! All this time you've just been trying to manipulate me. I'm outta here!

queue montage of all the good times; beer, cthulhu, laughs...

Ah geez Neg, I'm sorry about all that. I know you're just making whitty blog content. Now I feel guilty.
leaves an upvote
See ya around buddy.

Oh no AK. Now I feel guilty. You know I'm kidding? Right? Here....have an upvote :)

It worked, the double guilt switcheroo! ...wait, now I'm confused. Who's supposed to feel guilty now?

Um. Both of us. Lets promise never to fight again.

and upvote each others stuff forever

The sarcasm and the way you write the post is simply amazing man! keep it up and im looking forward to seeing more of your content! -Cheers.

LOLOL!

Hmmm, for some reason, all I see is a blank page... must be my mom guilt filter kicking in again... 😉 😊

Nicely done, and nice "meeting" you today in PYPT!

HOW CONVENIENT. :)

yep, yep and......a resounding yes
is how it pretty much all works

I'm glad I'm not alone in this observation :) Thx @battleaxe

Commented, upvoted (with no amount attached and resteemed)

Let's get this straight: Has anyone ever asked for a breast implant?

And then silly things like love and happiness...

Man, I love your infusions

Thanks! I don't believe breast implants REALLY play a role in steemit.....but maybe they do? Try it and report back.

Nah, I'll pass

PS: Turns out I didn't resteem. Not intentionally though, and I've fixed it.

Quick question:

Would you be more impressed, personally, if I got breast implants or if I made a witty comment? I'm aware I can (and you'll probably say "should") do both, but this is purely hypothetical for the sake of theory and rational investigation.

It's a valid question. I can't upvote your breasts, but I can upvote your witty comments, so perhaps lets stick to things we can both control, yes? :)

I will practice resistance and not upvote out of guilt. Which is a shame really because your post had me giggle from beginning to end. I’ll do one better, I’ll upvote your next one :) unless I don’t like it then we are just out of sorts.

Ooo, a rebel. FINE! I WON'T COMMENT ON YOUR COMMENT.

wait....dangit

F your fleeting guilt-votes! xD
I'm all about that half-stalkerish obsessive fangirl upvoting the ish out of someone or something.. just because I CAN!

Muahahahaha

Hugs & Coffee,
~Josie~

Ah yes, the random drive-by stalker upvotes. Those are nice too :)

Thx @josie2214!

Very entertaining, and all true. I can't wait, I'm saving up my steem dollars, to purchase my breast implants, in real life, so I can get more virtual upvotes in a healthy guilt-free manner. :D

Sounds like you already have a plan! Go forth and conquer the steemit universe!

Please accept this guilty well-deserved upvote and guilty sincere comment as my guillty honest appreciation for your post. I am reading this because of guilty great respect for your remarkable work! B_bigsmile.gif

I am ... grateful for your....sincerity and...honesty. I...respect....your work also. I offer you an upvote on your comment as a token of my appreciation.

@negativer you hit some strings there. Good observation and very honest as well I like that

I have the feeling that everyone on Steemit has chosen the same topic for today. Very well expressed!

Great article. Ok, good luck making the whales feel guilty. Some of them don't have feelings...they are good at it. That's why they become whales lol.

Cmon now, doesn't one need a soul first before they can feel guilty? Whales don't have souls :)

disclaimer for any whales reading: i'm kidding

I read this a though: guilt, ah, no wait, he means guild - form a guild, no wait guilt... harvest guilt from your guild... guillll... ok, time for a coffee" ;)

Maybe gilt? We're talking about gold? Sure! That sounds less bad :)

gold? kilt? rain bow? wait a minute, i'm seeing a pot of steem right there... oh boy, i think that wasn't coffee... covfefe maybe? :D

SO much guilt.

Sorry about that! checks something real quick...

Thx for the upvote :D

Lol. I definitely like. Resteeming 😁 and not because of guilt😂😂 just content😊

I'll take it any way I can get it :) Also upvoted your comment....because I like it :)

This is ridiculously clever.

And it rings true, yes?

Yes.

Guilt the most useful; yeah right Coz it really helps a lot in connecting and improving relationship and (guilt) is unhealthy but in positive way, you see with it you try to reach out and communicate.. this things seem to be obvious but it become more obvious with this post. Connecting and remembering through guilt. Thanks for sharing.

Lol so ironic that you bring up curie, I just got a little visit from him/her/it. Idk who curie is

Ah, curie is a curation service, and upvotes quality content on steemit, but the choices of what to upvote are usually human-selected. It's always a nice thing when curie finds you :)

You mark them off on your mental checklist of people you’re going to interact with again, since they have that silent agreement to do the same with you.

Totally nailed it!

I came back. I felt guilty for not being focused enough last time and I knew that I'm leaving a golden mine almost untouched.

Aha, so the guilt worked here too, even when it gets delayed. Excellent :)

I'm often the Slow Joe in the room. Yes, it worked. The content itself is too good to be missed. If I ever organize a Steemit workshop I will use it to explain how things actually work here and no, I won't forget quoting you.

hahaa blame it on the guilt!!

Applicable on almost everything :D

It's true :) It's the grease that makes the world go round. Thx for the upvote, @karinxxl! :)

Your posts always amaze me.
Every time i see your post, i always feel happy and happy.informational post also.

Thanks for this

This post has been voted on from MSP3K courtesy of @kubbyelizabeth from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ).

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This is me not upvoting you. :)

Cheating! But I'll allow it. This time ;)

Thx @kubbyelizabeth :)

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by negativer 🥓 from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.

just upvoted you man!

Thank you @negativer for making a transfer to me for an upvote of 2.46% on this post! Half of your bid goes to @budgets which funds growth projects for Steem like our top 25 posts on Steem! The other half helps holders of Steem power earn about 60% APR on a delegation to me! For help, will you please visit https://jerrybanfield.com/contact/ because I check my discord server daily? To learn more about Steem, will you please use http://steem.guide/ because this URL forwards to my most recently updated complete Steem tutorial?

Hi @negativer, I just stopped back to let you know your post was one of my favourite reads and I included it in my Steemit Ramble. You can read what I wrote about your post here.

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