Can Patriachal and Matriachial societies co-exist?

Got intrigued by a question posed on the #eco-train discord forum. The question posed was "what is your ideal societal structure?'' and it got me thinking, and below is my two cents.

How did we reach this point? Look around, how deeply patriarchy has been entrenched in our society, in our African culture when did women become domesticated? when was their role defined only through childbearing and being submissive without questioning?

Living in the 21st Century, opportunities abound for all men and women, why then are men still baffled by women who are making it in male-dominated fields (politics, STEM etc). When did it become not ok for women to be 30+, killing it in careers, unmarried and with no children?

Am not a feminist ok? Am just stating facts, we all have seen, seeing all around us. Early in African culture women held a very important role(s), a matriarch beyond women being seen as child bearers, unlike a patriarch society where men hold power and women are largely excluded from it. Matriarchy was all involving both men and women, where women held distinct roles within the society that shaped at times entires societies, and again am not a feminist.

From time immemorial men have benefited from having privileged positions, starting from birth men are elevated already in the societal hierarchy, and sorry to say that in many African Cultures women are blamed if she bares only female children. In some cases having a boy, the child was so important men were cushioned by society to look for the 'boy' outside wedlock.

Boys were toughened up from an early age, it was taboo to cry if you were a boy especially during initiation (transition from boy to man). Boys were told to man-up and it was engraved that crying and showing emotions was a sign of weakness and a preset of women. This is wrong in every way possible, first women were made to seem like lesser beings in society for being emotional and second too much burden was put on the boy child to live up to expectations that were too hard to fulfil all in the name of being manly.

Just like slavery, where other slaves were elevated above others (butlers, stewards and housekeepers), they were used to make other slaves know their place and those that tried to rise up were thwarted like flies. Similarly, in African societies, older women were used to propagate the patriarchy agenda to suppress and oppress other women (early marriages and Female Genital Mutilation).

Can Patriarchy and Matriarchy co-exist?

Early in the African culture roughly when the role of men in procreation was prominent, there wasn't much of a status issue until when the role of men in war was more pronounced, and even then there was no imposition of the male on the female, there was duality amongst the sexes.

As a core value amongst 'Earthists' male and female are compliments to one another, not only for harmony between them but harmony between man and nature.

In Kush (Modern day Ethiopia) and Egypt, the importance of women was seen. In Egypt children took their surname from the mother and it was the mothers' role to control the household and fields. Amongst the Akiguyi in Kenya, women were responsible for what was to be planted in the fields, when and even took part in selling their produce at the markets. They not only produced foods for their homes but brought income through the sale of what was excess (socio-economic role of women in early societies).

There is a famous African proverb "You can never be sure who the father of the child is, but of the mother you can always be sure" , through this thought a lot of African societies ensured that the conference of power or titles of leadership were through the mother's line. This was well evident in Kush where the Queen mother had the right to choose the next Pharaoh (Male). Among the Baganda of Uganda, the Queen mother (King's mother or older aunt) chose the next heir to the throne, and if not she was consulted by advisors before a successor was chosen.

Conclusion

So Yes, Similarly just like the ying-yang symbol represents perfect balance Patriarchy and Matriarchy can co-exist very well as illustrated through the numerous roles and functions carried out by the women and not necessarily in positions of power, but in a way that ensured coherence and continuity amongst societies even when the social hierarchy of male dominance was present.

Special thanks to @clara-andriessen for posing the question. Below are some awesome posts by #eco-train passengers on the same.

Now that we have a better understanding of patriarchy and matriarchy, what is your ideal societal structure? - ecoTrain Question of the Week by @eco-alex
My Ideal Societal Structure Embraces Wholeness by @sagescrub
"Now that we have a better understanding of patriarchy and matriarchy, what is your ideal societal structure?" by @clara-andriessen
What is your ideal societal structure? Patriarchy, Matriarchy, Egalitarianism and more by @celestialcow
Now that we have a better understanding of patriarchy and matriarchy, what is your ideal societal structure? - ecoTrain Question of the Week by @likedeeler

References

1. African Culture Should Adopt Feminism | A look at how patriarchy has tarnished African culture
2. African Women in African Civilization
3. We should all be feminists | Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | TEDxEuston 2013
   Image Source: Caring African Mother