Being an effective communicator; one of the most important skills you can learn in life.
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Unfortunately, most of us are very poor at communicating our thoughts and needs to others.
There are various reasons on why most of us are poor communicators. Some of these reasons include: poor active listening skills (not truly listening to the other person), distracted by your own thoughts, feeling anxious towards the other person (e.g. talking to a supervisor or higher up) or lacking respect towards the other people you are speaking too; ever watched someone in authority speaking down to a crowd (such as protesters).
Here are a few basic tips in order to be a more effective communicator:
- Look at the person you are talking to and put down your smartphone. The fewer distractions there are; the easier it is to understand one another.
- Try summarizing what the other person is saying on occasion so miscommunication does not arise. This is very important in both a business environment and crisis situations where everyone has to be on the same page. For instance; “What I heard you say is...is that correct?”
- While listening to someone talk, don't interrupt but do add a few “uh-huh” every once in a while and nod your head. For long discussions, this helps the other party know you are still focused on them and listening.
- No matter how much you may disagree or personally dislike the other party, attempt to understand their point of view or perceived grievances. This goes a long way in problem-solving and possibly ending a potentially tense or even violent situation.
- As a general rule, open-ended questions are better at understanding another person's perspective than close-ended questions (questions which only require a "yes" or "no").
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Being an effective communicator is so important in building your psychological resilience. If we cannot effectively communicate our needs to others or understand their needs, frustration will be the end result. When people become frustrated they tend to lash out, sometimes violently so. So it is important to ask yourself, am I an effective communicator? If you need help in this area, contact me.
Also, just a short public service announcement, my crowdsourcing campaign for my new book The Grateful Pessimist ends soon. If you are interested in building resilience like I am, go check it out right now!
Very well put together, and super concise. <3
I take it you are familiar with and proficient in Nonviolent-Communication?
Or did you find out for yourself how communication can work ideally between people with unmet needs? I'm curious.
Thank you!
I'm familiar with it, but more importantly, it came from experience and reading people well. Communication helps bridge a gap between disconnected people.
I really hope to meet you one day. These sorts of topics are becoming more relevant every day and I am thrilled that that is so.
Did transcendental experiences help you with learning to read people, or are you referring to experiences in everyday-life that somehow set off the sprak in ya?
Much love
if they could just put down their smart phones, that would be a good start, nice tips sir
I absolutely agree! Whenever I'm hanging out with someone my phone is not in my hands - we've become so disconnected from one another that we are losing the experience of actual connection with others. This will create an era of people that lack social skills when interacting in person, and make it harder for people to come out of their shells.
A good post with excellent advice. A good listener is a wonderful rare gem....one that allows the speaker to express their opinion without in any way seeking to influence or impress their own ideals upon them.
Thank you for these hints. I guess I can also add something useful to this topic. You were talking about active listening which is something a lot of people heard about some day but don’t know exactly what it is and how to use it.
It is very important that you get an idea of what your counterparts feelings are and what this person is expecting from you. If you can clearly identify a persons needs and respond on them, then you can optimize communication.
You are absolutely correct. Being able to gauge someone's emotions and nurture them can go a long, long way. It's a very critical skill that so many people sadly lack these days. If we continue down this road, the gap will widen between one another.
This blog needs to be resteemed. As an individual embarking on a journey to achieve the trust of many, i think it is important to listen attentively before you speak back to people. I'm impressed with your work.
Attentiveness is definitely key. I wish more people would understand that!
Thanks for the kinds words!
Thanks to @chiefmappster, this post was resteemed and highlighted in today's edition of The Daily Sneak.
Thank you for your efforts to create quality content!
Thank you very much for this article. The information is quite reasonable and worth taking into account while having conversation with other people!