Enough With Your Untidy Dog and Blunt Walls
by The Invisible Man

Dear Mr. Stits,

I have always felt frustrated living near to you. You are the most grubby neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud moan.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your dog is too untidy and your walls way too blunt. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hammer

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud moan from upsetting me. I demand that you clean up then invest in better sound-proofing.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your loud music increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a respectable neighbourhood like Daffidol Meadow.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the police and post photos of your loud moan on Pinterest.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
N. Joey Magoo

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman