What's in a name asks Platypus pineapple?

in #comedy4 months ago

I wish I could say that platypus pineapple was the name bestowed upon me by my parents. And that a stuffy vicar in a church had blessed me with those words. Sadly, like most people, but not all, I was given a boring name at birth. Unlike elon musks daughter who was named with a mixture of utterly unpronounceable letters, numbers and if I'm not mistaken, symbols! However, the relevant Californian authority 'reprimanded' the billionaires and forced them to follow the official protocol for naming children. No numbers allowed in children's names. Grandma musk felt her granddaughters name was just fine saying there's an x in the middle so i will call her x. This was before elon bought Twitter and changed the name. Seems like he's more than partial to the letter x.

Mentioning numbers and names brings to mind my buddy from Venezuela. Segundo, meaning second (as in the second child born in the family) in Spanish. Apparently it's not unusual to name your child by the order of their birth.

I first became intrigued by the idea of folks changing their names when I met zen o'matic in Yorkshire, England. He told me the region has the highest number of people officially changing their names in the country. At the time some went as far as renaming to Barclays bank are complete bastards! However zen had a little more panache. He told me he was planning on changing his name by deed poll again, to surname forename! So that when he was required to fill in forms for authorities under surname he could write forename and under forename he could write surname. Thus brightening up a bureaucrats otherwise mundane day.

Shortly after that I met a family who home educated their kids and actually encoraged them to change their own names whenever they felt like it. And how can I forget a woman i knew who christened her baby daughter hooligan! She said in future in school it would be fine because everyone would call her 'hooly' for short. (This woman actually came on to me strongly and I ran away very quickly).

Anyway, I will share with you lovely people how i became platypus pineapple. A friend James and I found ourselves at damanhur in the Italian alps. Damanhur is a fascinating place. One of the largest eco-villages in Europe with 600 folks living there. We were told that everyone chooses a damanhur name for themselves based on their favourite animal and fruit. James immediately replied cat mango. I'll never forget the looks of absolute horror that came across the faces of the community members which caused James to look equally horrified mixed with deeply confused. I didn't know where to put my face when a damanhur guy sombrely replied that cat mango had just died. Luckily I didn't put my foot in it and say perfect time for a new one! But what are the chances? I guess cats and mangos are very popular.

And so, for a fun exercise i wondered if I could get through the entire alphabet pairing animals and fruits for every letter. Fond of alliteration i made the exercise more difficult but more fun trying to come up with animals and fruits beginning with the same first letter, all from my head, no internet allowed. I surprised myself and in a matter of minutes had a lot of letters covered. Suffice to say platypus pineapple was my favourite. I couldn't even think it never mind say it without laughing. I still struggle to say it without smiling. Perfect! I do hope it has the same effect on other people. My second favourite was rhinoceros rhubarb. So of course that's the name i gave to my manager. 😉

Below is my incomplete list for your amusement, or inspiration if you're considering joining damanhur. Or perhaps you would like to attempt to complete it? If so please let me know.

Aardvark avocado
Butterfly blueberry
Crab chirimoya
Deer ?
Elephant ?
Fish fig
Gorilla grapes
Hippopotamus ?
Iguana ?
Jaguar ?
Koala kiwi
Lizard lemon
Meercat melon
? Nectarine
Orangutan orange
Piranha pear
? Quince
Rhinoceros rhubarb
Scorpion strawberry
Tiger tamarillo
?
?
Wombat ?
?
?
Zebra ?

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