Meanwhile I was reading your post I felt like if those were my words. I felt very identified with you, and as you wrote, with many other for sure. I think this pressure is part of the system and competition, however, I think in my case are basically two things; first, the enormous fear of made a bad decision and second, the uncertainty about this life meaning. It would be nice to talk about that in the future. With no intention to make myself promotion I would like to put my introduction if you want to read it. https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@hilaria/a-brief-introduction Anyway, I will follow you to know how is going your try to figure out what to do. Cheers!