We need to learn to say "NO" to unreasonable request, as otherwise, we will become victims. I believe a lot people are on the same boat and had some similar experiences. Saying no is hard esp. to friends and relatives. But we should always keep in mind that most scamms happened surrounding friends and families. As they are cloestest to you, friendship or relationship make it harder for you to refuse them. To protect your own interst, you would have to learn to say "NO" out loud if you sense the request unreasonable.
昨天晚上和一位好久没见的好朋友一起吃晚餐。在吃的过程中聊起各自的一些困扰。 原来我们都是不会说“不” 的受害者。
朋友非常好心。她之前合作多年的一个供应商开口向她借钱,基于那人之前的信用再体谅到打工者的无奈,朋友就慷慨掏钱借了几万块给他。后来该人又编制各种理由向朋友先后拿了十万人民币。
朋友也是打工仔,家里也是上有老下有小。而且长辈的身体也不是很好。可是就是因为无法说“不”,她至今多年过去了仍一分钱都没有拿回来。
最后,当那人再次向她开口的时候,她终于学会了说“不”拒绝了。可是她已经借出去的10 万块估计要拿回是遥遥无期了。 衷心希望朋友有朝一日能拿回她的钱。
我自己也曾经是这样的受害者,在失去很多以后,终于在大多数情况下学会了说”不“,可是偶尔还是会顾于朋友情面无法说出口。听了朋友的故事以后,再次进行检讨。
人一定要学会说向不合理的要求说”不“,否则,只能一再被人占便宜,对方只会得寸进尺,利用你的这个缺点来占你的便宜。不会说不其实是个很大的缺点。会让自己在这个社会里被人利用和欺负。因为占小便宜和欺负人是人的天性。圣人毕竟是少数。所以为了保障自己的利益和权力,一定要对不合理的要求大声说”不“。
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这种教训比比皆是,可惜人总是很健忘
It's the most difficult word to say. But we need to learn saying no.
It's hard when friends or family put you in a situation where you have to say no for your own good. Friends should not put you in hard situations when you have to decide whether to protect yourself or keep them as friends.
Nice post. I agree with you that we need to learn to say NO but viewing from another perspective, it could be hard even after learning to say NO...
It's not easy though.
Sometimes one need to harden the heart to make a hard decision.
有时候太nice了,受伤的总是心软的那个
有时拒绝别人真的很难!特别是自己的亲友。交情不太深的还是不要借钱的好。交情深的也要分情况再决定要不要借钱。比如有些朋友会因为想买第二套房子向我开口借钱,这样的我基本都是拒绝,因为不是紧急情况,也不是必要情况,也不是重要情况,所以我找不到理由借钱给他们。更重要的是我自己还没钱买第二套房子呢。。。
我的方式是对对方说:我也没什么钱,不过这里有1000(看关系远近金额自定),你拿去吧,帮不上什么大忙,不好意思了。
嗯,人善被人欺,有些人会把你的礼貌视为软弱,对这种人就要强势点。
认同!我也是不懂得说不,其实到现在有些时候还是一样。有些人因为你曾经帮过他们而之后都会理所当然的向你一直提出要求,就是一直在不要脸的占人便宜。唉,这一点我还在学习。说不对我这类人来说真的好难...