Hello guys, hope your day was as productive as mine. Just incase it wasn't tomorrow is yet another shot to get it done.
So I will be dropping yet another poem in the ongoing inkwell poetry challenge. I'm abit nervous as this will be my first attempt of a free verse in a long time.
Anyways, hope you enjoy it, Cheers 🍷
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Day turned soar as nightfall
Spun into a downfall
Couldn't picture a way out of
This impending doom that has
Come to fill my heart with gloom
Never felt health could depreciate
So fast like body became a bad Economy
A disturbed anatomy
Nervous nerves blocked off any
Chance of reasonable solutions
Traveling through this brain
Looks like an ambulance is the
Best bet of surviving till sunrise
Felt walls of his chest begin to
Close in like t'was closing time
Just as he was close to his last
Breath, a friend appeared in sight
With inhaler in hand Adé saves the day
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
#theinkwell #challenge #poetry #naijacommunity #Hive
You must leave the nerves and let the muse flow. Congratulations @okikithegreat.
I'm glad I did. Thank you @felixgarciap
Good poetic text. Resolved the issue of nervous agitation and "saving the new day". Saludos, @okikithegreat.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Saludos
Is this about the asthma attack you mentioned in your other post? Who is Ade?
This definitely feels like a spoken word piece. The rhythms flow from line to line and the irregular rhyming lends itself perfectly to that style.
Yes,lived with it since I was two, almost 30 now. Yeah it came out with a spoken word feel but I wasn't exactly trying to go for that. Think it came out well enough as your kind words suggest so. Thank you for reading. Cheers 🍷
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Aww love it and the fact that ADE saved the day . You used both prompts - very nice.
I like your style - the tempo felt like a spoken word poem.
Thank you for your kind words, wasn't even try to go for that. Someone recently pointed out I should start doing spoken word. I just might with this. Cheers.
Hello Hive, I think ive found whom will wear my poetry cap! Nice one man! Reminds me of me back in the dau
Lol, will wear it with honour and gratitude bro. Cheers!