I’ve it heard it said in song that all you need is love and I dis-a-fucking-gree. I can’t possibly be any clearer on the matter, and yet I will try.
I was in the shower [relevant information] this morning and the most fantastic stroke of genius came upon me. It was as though God himself whispered to me of how to ease the suffering minds of our brothers and sisters. It’s going to revolutionize the way we cope and heal; I just need you all to be open to the experience - embrace new ideas. Here’s my pitch…
Obviously this whole “love thy neighbor” thing isn’t very effective - so instead of thinking, praying, and relying on love to see us through; I thought we’d give drugs a shot. I’m not messing around either; I’m talking drugs on a MASSIVE scale. FEMA has disaster relief, how about some emotional relief? I’m proposing we set up camps with tents and cafeteria style, or buffet if you will, drug banquets. You will have your choice of uppers or downer, hallucinogens or inhalants and just about anything in-between. You will be required to stay on-site until you have successfully comedown from your voyage to ensure the safety of others as well as yourself. Your staycation has no set limit, but routine bathing will be required and you are to provide for all of your own meals. I haven’t quite worked out the details on how to procure the drugs, the funding for said illicit drugs, or where to get tents that big, but I’m sure the answers will start flowing. Remember: rantsandswears@gmail.com
Now some of you are probably thinking bigger picture shit. “Oh Tina, there’s a drug epidemic out there…this is so irresponsible and reckless,” Settle down – I have something for those of us that suffer too. For those of us that are registered chem offenders (suffering from chemical dependency issues for my straight edge friends) I have a solution for you too! You get relief from your sorrows as well! In a separate tent – A VERY SEPARATE TENT – my dependent friends and I will be playing with kitties and puppies whilst viewing the world through old school orange view finders, clicking away our woes and fears. Maybe Three’s Company will be playing on a television somewhere off in the distance and there will be pee-pads for as far as the eye can see. Kitties, and puppies, Jack Tripper…oh my!
I realize this is all a lot to take in at once and very much in its infancy, but I truly think that I’m on to something. Shoot me an email, leave a comment, or a simple thumbs up (even if you mean for me to stick it up my ass) to show your support.
Thanks for your time,
Ranting for a cure
