
As per usual I am back this week with a very important post. Apart for the annual review of my stash posts which plague Hive all through December I have been looking at some of the Hive Communities Christmas tree. Oh yes. I have been busy rating your Christmas tree and I must say Hive Community, the majority of them are a holy fucking disgrace. Now I am from Northern Europe where we like to put a bit of creative design into our trees. For example this year my significant other has a total mind change with the baubles and I have now come home to a tree with baubles with a pink and white tint to them which is pretty modern and nice I have to admit. The fact that Hive is a global Community has me looking at trees from all parts of the world. Now I have to say the Christmas trees in Spain or Latin America just look like you all just throw stuff at the tree and whatever sticks and holds on stays on the trees. You Feliz Navidad guys are throwing the mother fucking kitchen sink at the poor tree and if there is a hint of green to be seen you will cover it with the first fucking thing you guys can get your paws on. It would not be my cup of tea to be honest with you. I am surprised the tree doesn't need a fire cert attached. You could find everything and anything in those trees. It is ridiculous.
On the contrary some of them are nice and some have a very unique feel to them which I like. Lets begin by rating your Christmas tree.
Rate my mother fucking Christmas Tree
The Minitature

Our first tree is from @powerego. By his Hive name and Christmas tree I can tell he is a single man who likes Christmas. But doesn't love it. He acknowledges Christmas is here by putting up a smaller tree. But he does not spare the baubleage. He goes for a nice traditional look of gold and red. He even purchased lights for his mini tree. A solid effort from @powerego. Such is his ego there is no need for a huge tree. He don't need no penis extension. Interesting he has a Merry Christmas at the top and he has kept to tradition by putting a star on top albeit - a shit star.
Tree Rating 4/10
The Sex Tree

This tree has knocked my socks off and I can tell it wasn't @fullcoverbettings design. It has wife written all over it. Now he does mention in his post that his job (like mine) is to get the decorations. So the boxes are carried down and the handover happens with a handshake I imagine, and he goes about his business. Now I do like the white colours on the tree. Very modern feel. The lethal weapon at the top of the tree is peculiar and I love the crib at the bottom in an egg.Peter has decided to keep baby jesus warm by installing a double radiator next to the tree. The black anal beads hanging down the tree are also quite cool and raunchy. The detail on the baubles suggest no expense spared. The black bauble is also in play as well here suggesting mouth balls. The fullcoverbettings like a nice bauble. The favourite is placed dead centre and it is my favourite as well. I did discover a large beast at the the bottom of their tree but maybe it is a tree skirt. Spanish people take note. This is a nice tree. It is decorated but the. decorations are not bulldozed on. They are placed on with care and a creative eye.
Tree Rating 9/10
The Lollipop


The next tree is from @gr33nm4ster and he has gone for the lollipop themed tree with a big giant fucking ribbon on top and baubles the size of a bulls testicles. He has also added a toadstool on top as his angel which is unique and I see a HO HO HO on the side. The lollipop or whatever the fuck they are look to be frisbied on from afar. A bare enough tree if you took away the giant sweets. This has to be a work tree. Has to be. It has "Decorate it on your own time" written all over it. There does look to be lights that resemble sweets. But they are not switched on yet.
Tree Rating 2/10
The White Tree

The second of our small trees from @gabyjc. It is our first white tree. An acquired taste because its hard to source baubles for a white tree but I think Gaby has done OK here. She has the star on top which ticks my box but I would say the star is older than the actual sun and I would recommend Gaby keep an eye out in the January sales for a new star. However her baubles are nice and colourful and she has some nice snowmen and santa teddy bear baubles going on. She went for the green and red lights. Green because the tree is white which is a big fuck you to the green tree Community. She made sure she has the red light right underneath her star which adds a more sinister black mirror vibe. However I cannot fault her effort as the bauble per tree branch is excellent.
Tree Rating 7/10
The Money Tree

Our first themed based in hobby tree. This tree is , well , lit up like a Christmas tree. Great lights , well balanced. There are the users coins on the tree that are unique and they are coloured like the Olympic rings. Probably pur most expensive tree we have here today although Peter's dildoo star may beg to differ. I imagine @silverd510 switches out the good coins when the friends are coming around. You can't be to careful these days. It is an interesting take on a bauble. Doesn't look too bad. Kids have flown this nest I imagine. As soon as they left , out came the coins at last.
Tree Rating : 6/10
The Santa Tree

The first of the Latino trees. @yelimarin is in the Christmas spirit and has gone for the Santa tree. There are Santas everywhere here and a big mutha fucker Santa at the top hanging on for dear life. Poor santa. Beneath the Santa's I can only describe as a bramble of decor. A ditch of red. The green lights also make it look like the tree is forcefield protected and if you end up in the tree , there is no getting out of that narnia. We cannot see any baubles on the tree but this is not to say there is not. Maybe we will get confirmation.
Tree Rating : 6/10
The Hive Competition Tree
While I was randomly searching for Christmas trees I came across many posts that had this tree in the title picture. So I was gonna get onto the Hive watch people to investigate but it was a competition and this tree was the photo. There is alot going on here. It's top heavy with stuff. Not much of a colour trend happening. The star is there and probably the best star so far. Lots of Santas and ginger bread men and those big red flowers. The lights are in there . The tree skirt looks to be a dead snake if I am not mistaken. To be honest. It looks a bit creepy. Like it would eat you. The star does look like the eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings. And there are a couple of wooden decorations taken from the set of the Blair Witch Project. Very baubley bottom with some off price colours. Rumour has it that the lights do not require any power.
Tree Rating : 3/10

So thats it for this week because it is all the Christmas trees I can find on Hive. Tune in for part 2 next week where I will review your Christmas Tree. Or leave your tree in the comments and I will get back to you. The winner so far is @fullcoverbetting with his sex tree.
Pfft, I think we over here in Northern South America we exercise a lot more creative design at the time of putting unparalleled & unlimited pizazz in our Christmas Trees.
Because it's not just throwing stuff at the tree and whatever sticks and holds on stays on the trees, you are wrong. This is an extremely careful process in the selection of the Christmas ornaments which, together with the current global economic situation, leads us to produce the most unique and realistic Xmas Trees you can imagine.
Rate my Xmas Tree if you dare!
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source
I guess to get a 10/10 @blanchy ranking one would have to have some Tottenham butt plugs hanging on the tree. Will get mine ranked and will post a photo this week. I think it only went up today.
You’re too mane to buy a tree. Probably find a squirrel in yours after you rob one up the woods 🐿️🐿️🐿️
I love my squirrels. We have so many fake Christmas trees as we are a distributor and have thousands of them to pick from. Reminds me of a good Christmas story for later in the week.
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I see mine was too cool for you to share! Guess that means I am winning! There are many years we don't even put up a tree, so ours is definitely nothing special.
It was not in your caption image @bozz so I missed it but it would win the award for skinniest tree. 😃. Bauble depth is nice. Lights well balanced. A beautiful tree. Knocking 2 points off for the lack of width but apart from this 8/10
We don't have a very big house, so we had to go with a skinnier tree. After 8 years here I still don't know how to caption my photos...
I'd imagine "not a very big house" in American terms is only having the one wing. 🤣
It's like 1600 square feet. Is that big? Sorry, 148 square meters.
It's big enough @bozz. Im about 1,400 myself in a town.
Thanks for the almost perfect report. The wife just did great.
And thanks for finally make me understand what kind of beads those are :)
I could spot those beads a mile away. 😄 what a tree that is. I has everything. Congratulations on this prestigious accolade.
Saw this opium smoking monkey decoration in my local Asda. The Mrs wasn’t keen even though I told her we’d be a certainty to win @blanchy’s competition if we added this to the tree
🤣🤣🤣 well to be fair . There wasn’t much competition . 🤣🤣🤣